Talking to my wife about her bi fantasy

Contributor: pghaaron pghaaron
Hey everyone! My wife and I have been together for 10 years. Years ago, we exchanged some in-the-moment fantasies about the possibility of her being with another woman. It never went anywhere and eventually faded. That has resurfaced recently as we've been a lot more sexually engaged. On a recent night, during some toy-fueled, wild sex, she really let some words fly. Normally a very shy person, she went into very specific detail about what she wanted to do.

I listen to enough advice podcasts to know that "I need to talk to her about it" but I've tried bringing up bedroom-talk fantasies outside the bedroom before and she has dismissed it quickly. So I want to know your thoughts/reactions to someone who was very vocal about having sex with another woman, albeit in the bedroom during sex. Do you think it's just a fantasy or something more? I know that adding someone to the mix is not nearly as easy as ordering a sex toy and opening the drawer to use it so it's going to take some work if we do pursue it...
11/07/2017
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Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
From my experiences " in the moments " talks are exactly that. We've done that and sure many couples also do in the heat of the moment.

The person with the greater sex drive of course has more desire. I think it's a common male fantasy for men to see their wives doing it with another gal. The number one probably is to see her have sex with a very well endowed man.
11/08/2017
Contributor: LovelyGirl93 LovelyGirl93
It would really come down to if such a subject is being brought up outside of the bedroom with true seriousness. That really is the point of where things should be looked into further but, for now, it would be best to just view it as a fantasy.

I've had a similar situation and once it finally got out of being just bedroom talk it became more comfortable to talk about and look into. When my SO at the time would bring it up outside of the bedroom it felt like he was trying to push it for him, not so much for me. At least that's how it felt like at the time.

It all just takes time, even if it's a slow process if she really wants it eventually it will come out when she's ready.
11/09/2017
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by LovelyGirl93
It would really come down to if such a subject is being brought up outside of the bedroom with true seriousness. That really is the point of where things should be looked into further but, for now, it would be best to just view it as a fantasy. ... more
Well presented, thanks for your insight.
11/09/2017