D/S Hookup Advice, PLEASE!!!! - Created by ToyQuest on Feb 06, 2012: EdenFantasys Forum

ToyQuest

So a few weeks ago, I started hooking up with this guy. The first time it was a nooner, the second time, I had to be up early, so both times, I left and went back to my own place. The last time (Friday), we hooked up, and while it didn't start out as power play, it turned into him dominating me, and I'm not sure when it happened, but I became submissive. This is all fine, I'm 100% okay with it - I've been interested in this for a long time and wanting to try being sub. Anyway, there was no doubt in my mind when we were done that I had become sub during the course of our play together, and I instinctively wanted to cuddle and be held. He kicked me out of bed (nudged, really, but literally moved me out of the bed). My first instinct was to just break it off with him. But now, I'm wondering if I should ask him whether he:
1. Intended to turn me into a sub
2. realized that I had turned sub
3. is familiar with aftercare and/or d/s?

What do you think? Do I drop him or do I ask him?

Your responses are appreciated!

02/06/2012

Pixel

Even if he wasn't intending to put you into a submissive headspace, just kicking you out of bed is pretty douche-y. I'd drop him for that alone. If he *did* intend you get you into that headspace and just kicked you out afterwards, why on earth would you want to play with him again? A top who doesn't care about their bottom or check in with them after playing isn't one that I would ever play with.

02/06/2012

Chilipepper

Agreed with Pixel. He doesn't seem to want any type of relationship (I mean, Christ, kicking you out as soon as he's done?? you're practically a prostitute who isn't getting paid!), and there's no way to have any D/s with someone like that. Doms do care about their subs, that's what being a good Dom is about. Otherwise, they're douche-nozzles claiming to be Doms just so they can treat partners like blow-up dolls and get away with it.

If you think he's being clueless, then talk to him about it. If it's so casual neither of you care how you treat each other, then carry on. If you don't want to bother with him anymore, then break it off.

02/06/2012

AndroAngel

I agree with Pixel and Chilipepper. But I do have to add that if he intentionally turned it into a power play without making sure it was okay with you, that isn't a basis for healthy D/s interaction.

02/06/2012

Shellz31

I'm with everyone on this.
Even though a Dom is in charge, he/she is still going to have respect and care for their sub - unless they are just using the sub purely for their pleasure.

To just use and then kick you out screams 'user' to me. I know I'd feel cheap in that situation and like I should have been paid!

02/07/2012