How to meet people when you have no life?

Contributor: threesidedorchid threesidedorchid
Let me put it this way: I haven't been asked out in over 10 years.
I'm extremely depressed and lonely. I mean... extremely.

i just moved to a very rural area. I've looked for classes and clubs, but haven't found anything I'm interested in w/in a half hour drive.
I don't know anyone here, so I have no friends to go to bars with (not that I'm a bar person anyway).
I have profiles up online, but mostly just get your standard bootycall posts.

Any ideas for how to meet people in rural areas?
07/11/2012
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Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by threesidedorchid
Let me put it this way: I haven't been asked out in over 10 years.
I'm extremely depressed and lonely. I mean... extremely.

i just moved to a very rural area. I've looked for classes and clubs, but haven't found anything ... more
I think you need to expand your radius. I don't live in a rural area, however many of the things I enjoy and want to attend are 45 to 90 minutes away.

Also, try Meetup.com — most of what's listed are group activities so you get to meet lots of new people, and bootycalls are almost unheard of.
07/11/2012
Contributor: Sera26 Sera26
I wish I could help but I'm a lost a cause in this area. Plus as a single woman when I go places alone men often insult me for it. The only interesting people I meet seem to be online and they always think that it's so easy like I'm going to travel a couple of hours (or more) to meet someone I don't even know.
07/12/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by threesidedorchid
Let me put it this way: I haven't been asked out in over 10 years.
I'm extremely depressed and lonely. I mean... extremely.

i just moved to a very rural area. I've looked for classes and clubs, but haven't found anything ... more
Ummm... start having a life? Lol. I'm kidding, kidding. I think if you're looking to make new friends and meet new people, you should take a few visits to places YOU love. Say you love to read and learn. A library. Make a few trips there and maybe you'll see others. This way you find people who are more likely to share your interests.

You like art? Art museums. One time to your favorite place probably won't cut it though. This is actually a wonderful way to finally get close to someone you have eyes for who works at a particular place. I'm telling you, it works. Lol. We have made SOOO many really close friends this way, without even trying.

I'm a huge Krystal fan. I love their food and have been a regular at my local Krystal for years. So regular in fact, that they were going to sponsor me in the Miss USA pageant! Anyways, I'd go in there regularly several years ago for their Java milkshakes. I couldn't get enough of them. Eventually a guy a bit younger than me and my partner started bringing us free shakes! Awesome. My cousin worked there so we'd often hang around after eating talking to her. Then the guy who would give us milkshakes became great friends with us, and eventually would leave word with HIS cousin who also worked there, to give us a free shake when we came in! So we ended up becoming such close friends with this guy, his cousin and the cousin's brother! Ha Ha.

Seriously, just from my visits to Krystal, I've made a lot of close friends. The three people I mentioned, plus another guy who they went to school with. We're all still friends, and we met a few years ago and none of them still work at Krystal.

So, what do you love? Find out what events are available in your area. If you're area is like mine, there may not be much offered, but there's always something. A pool? Park. Library. Restaraunt, coffee shop, aquarium? Lol. I love fish.

That's just a way I know I've managed to pick up some long term friends. Oh, not to mention my lovely gas station buddies! Ha Ha Ha. like I said, we're a very small area! I've actually made a couple of great girlfriends due to buying smokes and drinks at the same stores regularly. One friend I made, she ended up making a perfect advertiser for my finger nail business! I give them to her for free and since she's a cashier, people always notice her nails. Business and a friend!

Honestly, if you're looking for long term, reliable friends that may possibly turn into romantic relationships, a club and bar is the LAST place to go... unless you just love those places and plan on frequenting them for the next decade. I say that because my sisters bar hop and find all kinds of men. Let me tell you what classy young men they bring home. One guy swears he's in the damn mafia another shacked up at her place and won't leave, so she left her house! It's just not the best place for that type of relationship, but I mean, if that's totally your style, then that's fine.

I do hope you begin meeting new people. Even if you aren't romantically interested in some of them you do meet, they could at least make good friends and in turn, possibly have a nice brother or cousin. I think one of the best ways to really get to know a lot of people is first by making close friends with just a couple. Just like our friends from Krystal. We had one friend we began getting close to and ended up with several great, long term friendships. The guy we still hang out with most often meets up with us at concerts in town all the time. It's really fun!

Do you have any cool bands in your area? Check for bands that are coming to your area regularly and maybe you'll end up making friends that way. There's nothing like screaming your lungs out at a kick-ass concert with a group of good friends! And not all concerts are wild and crazy. I live near Nashville, TN and only a couple hours away from ATL--where EF is located too!--so we often have some pretty awesome bands come to our area. Chattanooga always ends up having one or two of my fav bands play each year. If you like music, that right there opens up a lot of options for you.

What about music stores? This is not something in my area--at all--but I hear people all the time talk about hanging out at music stores with buddies. Maybe that's something in your area?

And if all else fails, go to Wal-Mart at midnight. LOL. You're bound to have some male give you the eye or his phone number. If not, you will at least see something wild and interesting. Wal-Mart is always different at midnight! Lol.

Start taking walks around your area. make yourself approachable by smiling or making small talk, if you aren't too shy. Me, I can be too shy to ever look at people some days. Then there are days where I make friends out of strangers. Best of all, have someone with you because that always is a bit encouraging when someone's with you. My partner is a big talker, he never meets a stranger. That is probably how we've ended up with so many friends. Lol.

Pets? Do you own any? Like them? If you're a big animal loveer, you could always take a trip to the pet store and find some gentleman to "help" you find what you need. Or take your pet with you and people are way more likely to approach. Or. Wait a minute. You could go to Pet Smart, people ALWAYS take their pets with them. If you happen to see a nice gentleman with his dog, ask to pet the dog or compliment the pet! That's a good way to kind of put yourself out there.

Well, I am no expert believe me. I met my partner many years ago as we went to the same school--only he was a few years older so we didn't come across each other during that time--but had the same circle of friends and eventually kept coming into contact with each other at parties. We met at a party. I was drunk. Lol. But you know how he got my attention? I had a killer migraine and he left and came back with a BC powder! How sweet huh? I was nearly puking trying to get that nasty powder down, but it worked and bam! Headache gone. Drunk as heck. True love. Lol. No, we didn't talk too much that night after the BC, but I kind of acted crazy so I went back the next day to tell him I'm actually normal. He was already gone, but I got a phone call that night. Turns out he called a gazillion people to find my phone number! How neat? We've been together ever since. That was 6 years ago. So you never know what'll lead you to your lovie! Maybe you should go out one night when you've got a headache? Probably not good advice Lol, but it did it for me.

I do hope something works out though. Maybe something one of us here at EF have suggested will get you inspired or give you an idea. I wish I had better advice. I'm clearly not talented in the match maker department.

Best of luck to you! If I happen to think of a really good idea, I will let you know.
07/12/2012
Contributor: Tork48309 Tork48309
Follow your interests.
07/13/2012