Ladies: What do ‘BAD BOYS’ have that I don’t?

I don't like the neediness of good boys. A man that will ask me 'are you ok' in bed and always ask me 'what's wrong' and will bend over backwards to let me be a brat without putting up a fight isnt a turn on for me...A bad boy doesn't take my shit, and that's what I need. less

I think it's a question of perceived virility. Bad Boys aren't afraid to show off and be "manly", which seems to feed into the hormonal racial survival twaddle about picking out the so-called "most potent" of the gene pool.

Interestingly enough, studies have brought up the point that once the female becomes pregnant, she will seek out the Nice Guy as nurturer and provider for her offspring. Taking this a step further (though I doubt the validity of this claim), women want more "sensitive" men now because of the last two generations of women having been exposed to birth control, which kicks in the "seek nurturer" trait due to the hormones making the body think it's pregnant. I am of the inclination that the research money was embezzled.

However, there may also be a play of psychology here, as most of the "Bad Boys" I see around my area are also abusive losers who cheat, beat, and are passive-aggressive children. They also get laid more often, judging by the amount of women they get pregnant. The women who chose them seem to have low esteem, low standards, and the inability to figure out how to use birth control, with the excuse of "The is the best we've got, and he's good in the sack." Which, of course, validates my theory of perceived virility being that the women won't give the Nice Guys the time of day to practice being better. The cycle perpetuates itself.

Admittedly, my idea of a Bad Boy is having a perceived virility just under the surface of respectability and manners, which means he's a demanding Dom in private. less

I've been with both. I'm aggressive myself and a bit of a bitch. With nice guys, I tend to walk all over them and get bored. I get away with too much crap. A bad boy won't take all my nonsense and will stand up to me if I ask too much. It keeps me on my toes a bit more. Also, nice guys were very judgmental of things I've done or do. Bad ones have probably done or do the same things, so no judgement there.

That said, there's a level of "bad" I won't tolerate. I had one "bad boy" that cheated on me constantly. He had to go.

My now husband is a bad boy. He's been to jail more times than I could count, though it has mostly been for not showing up to court for speeding tickets. A few times for more serious things. He drives an import car that he modifies for racing. He says inappropriate things at awkward times, which can be a bit much sometimes. He is who he is and will happily tell anyone who doesn't like it to screw off (only he won't use that wording). He'll do things for me, but if I ask too much he'll tell me I'm being lazy (which 99% of the time he's right about). He sees me at my worst times in fits of anger and thinks it's hot rather than running for the hills. He'll go toe to toe with me and not back down. I need that. Like Gunsmoke said, there is some BS that comes with him, but there's a lot of BS that comes with me too. The way I figure, no one else would put up with either of our crazy asses! Match made in heaven. Or hell perhaps. lol

For what it's worth, he can be kind when he needs to be. He's an awesome dad to our son. He becomes a total teddy bear when my son gives him a puppy look. And if I'm having a real hard time mentally, he knows when to back off the bad boy BS a little to make things easier on me. Not totally, because that's just his nature, but he tries his best to be supportive. less

Absolutely! The few nice guys I dated were head over heels for me despite me being a major bitch to them. I'll never get that. They were devastated when I broke up with them 'cause I got bored. So yeah, I would say those guys were drawn to the "bad girl" type when they would have been better off with a "nice girl" instead. less

I can identify with this. Though I definitely don't identify as the "bad" type, I still need someone who will be strong, assertive, and stick up for themselves. Even if that means sticking up against me. I can be very dramatic, impulsive, and rebellious when I want to be, because I thrive on intensity. I feel like a lot of nice guys I've dated have just ignored my flaws or my behavior because they're in love with the -idea- of who I am, or who I am when I'm in a certain mood.

Some I have noticed like taking up the role of the victim. They seemed to like the attention of having someone feel sorry for them, and then say, "No one else will be able to love you/put up with you the way I do". I can't take it when a guy just puts me up on a pedestal, and often times I start acting up just to see how they react! Being a brat totally isn't me at all, but I just keep hoping there is another side to them that comes out and that they will show me that they are their own person.

Of course this is just an extreme example and what I tend to associate with "nice" guys. I have dated plenty of "normal" guys who have had both sides but just weren't the one for me in the end. I've seen through some of the "bad boy" types I've come across in the past and all I ended up seeing was immaturity, narcissism, hidden insecurity. It completely has to do with the individual. I like a balance; the trouble is just finding the right balance for me.

I hope I don't sound terribly shallow! Obviously I can't speak on behalf of all nice guys or bad boys out there. We as women all have very different ideas on what we want VS what we need. less

For the most part, I've always wondered what women see in a ‘stereo type’ male identified as a BAD BOY. What does a BAD BOY have that a ‘nice guy’ doesn’t? I will leave it up to you to define what a BAD BOY may be. However, by definition, BAD means naughty, shocking, troublesome, mischievous, rude, immoral, ruthless, awful, ghastly, imperfect, disobedient, badly behaved, unmanageable, and other synonyms.

I like to give respect to 'link82' who, in 2011, framed the question differently in a Poll titled, Bad Boy vs. Nice Guy, where she had asked, "Just wondering how many other straight women have a hard time liking the "nice guys," as hard as we try!

I am trying to understand WHY women seem to be attracted to Bad Boys! Or, is this idea completely ridiculous? This is NOT Poll! less

Typically a "Bad Boy" seems self absorbed to the outside world but (unless he is also an asshole) in private he is attentive and that is amazing. A bad boy has a protective streak that may look like controlling behavior to outsiders but is actually very endearing (for a short time). Also the feeling with a bad boy is that he will be able to physically beat other guys...that's the stereotype.
Bad boys can have wicked senses of humor and tend to think outside the box and it can be a naughty thrill to be with them. The bad thing is it gets old after a while and you have to have something that draws you back or it's on to the next.
My bad boy is an amazing father, an innovative and creative lover, meaner than hell and sweeter than honey. He is also frequently rude, anti-social and people assume he is a wife beater (especially when they meet his wife!). He doesn't have a problem letting people know, even his wife at times, that they don't matter at that particular moment but on the flip side he can scorch you with his full attention. In short he is electric to be around and draws women like a bright light bulb draws moths.

I am attracted to guys nice or bad...but both of my guys are egocentric, dominant and frequently rude. They compliment and mitigate my own dominant and abrasive personality.

I have loved nice guys but I find that ALL guys have this knuckle dragging asshole inside of them. You are attracted to what you are attracted to! You know the other equally stereotypical saying: Nice guys always win in the end. In my experience letting a little of the knuckle dragger balance your new millennium man will spice up the relationship and give a nice guy some depth...like the gentle, caring side of a bad boy peeking through can make a woman melt. less