Let's dispell the myth that cheap toys are "good for beginners."

On more than a couple of reviews (here and on other sites) a few reviewers seem to not like a toy, usually due to cheap materials, only surface, buzzy, or less than intense vibrations and/or poor workmanship and some claim, "It would be good for a beginner."

It's beginning to bug me. IMO, "Beginners" either those starting their sex lives or starting their "sex toy" lives need good quality, good vibrational, quality workmanship toys not crap.

I've seen too many people (mainly women) complain that "vibrators don't work for me" only to find out, after much probing, that they have only tried very inexpensive, poorly made toys.

Don't "beginners" deserve the best as well? In fact, those of us who don't consider ourselves "beginners" can probably tolerate a poorly made toy more, knowing full well that this particular toy is NOT the standard of excellence for the Sex Toy Industry and that not all vibrators/toys are equal. Most of us know there is better out there. More than someone who has only known one toy, and gives up on sex toys due to it being poorly made and lacking in quality.

If we can maybe agree that "a good toy for beginners" might (or might not be) a toy without a lot of bells and whistles, one with a nice size, but not huge (it depends on who the beginner is) but that will give them a good experience, even if it costs a bit more, I'd be happier.

Just had to say my piece.

Peace.

less

On more than a couple of reviews (here and on other sites) a few reviewers seem to not like a toy, usually due to cheap materials, only surface, buzzy, or less than intense vibrations and/or poor workmanship and some claim, "It would be good for a beginner."

It's beginning to bug me. IMO, "Beginners" either those starting their sex lives or starting their "sex toy" lives need good quality, good vibrational, quality workmanship toys not crap.

I've seen too many people (mainly women) complain that "vibrators don't work for me" only to find out, after much probing, that they have only tried very inexpensive, poorly made toys.

Don't "beginners" deserve the best as well? In fact, those of us who don't consider ourselves "beginners" can probably tolerate a poorly made toy more, knowing full well that this particular toy is NOT the standard of excellence for the Sex Toy Industry and that not all vibrators/toys are equal. Most of us know there is better out there. More than someone who has only known one toy, and gives up on sex toys due to it being poorly made and lacking in quality.

If we can maybe agree that "a good toy for beginners" might (or might not be) a toy without a lot of bells and whistles, one with a nice size, but not huge (it depends on who the beginner is) but that will give them a good experience, even if it costs a bit more, I'd be happier.

Just had to say my piece.

Peace.

less

Oh! And in terms of durability, I think that's debatable.

To me? I almost think it's better to suggest a cheap plastic bullet for a beginner because if they try it and hate it they didn't waste a lot of money and, hey, they learned something about their vibration preferences.

So I don't think a first toy HAS to be one that lasts forever or anything. In some ways I almost think that's a bit of a commitment to make as a beginner. I know I tried a lot of vibrators before I really learned what I liked. Frankly, it wasn't until a few months ago that I could describe exactly what I wanted and I'm not a beginner by any means. less

I think it would be worthwhile to write up a good article about choosing a first vibrator, and address some of the issues brought up in this thread. That sort of thing belongs on Eden's front page, and the introduction to vibrators article that is in place takes the wrong approach, in my opinion. Not a single example shown in that article is something I'd recommend to a newbie -- when I first wandered around the Internet in search of a toy, I would have pounced on something classy and understated. Sorry, but the Rabbit Habit, and those jelly toys, and the tongue? Not classy and understated. And the Rock Chic still scares me.

I'd suggest a flowchart as part of the article, one that simplified the major decisions, took advantage of whatever the user already knew of her own body, and focused her attention on the most likely toys.

Whoever writes it needs to come at it as if they're trying to help a somewhat shy friend improve her sex life, rather from either a sales angle or from the assumption that the reader is in a sex positive stage in their life. The bold and confident types will do their homework, and ask their friends. It's the timid and embarrassed people like me who are likely to duck into Spenser's in a wig and dark glasses and snatch the first piece of novelty crap they spot under a blacklight.

As for what I personally require to call a toy a beginner toy? Something quiet is far more important than something cheap. If it's noisy, you're going to be too distracted worrying about who can hear the dang thing to enjoy it, and therefore it will not work. Nor will it get multiple chances at the task, because when something fails to work and trying to make it work is stressful, trying again becomes something less than a priority.

And there's my two cents. Plus my tennis racket analogy from the other day -- if playing tennis makes your wrist hurt, you stop playing tennis before you learn that the cheap, heavy racket with the poor design hurt your wrist, so you'll never know the joy of using a lightweight racket that doesn't send jarring vibrations up to your shoulder every time you hit the ball. Of course, since you quit tennis, everyone says it's a good thing you only spent $15 on the racket, but if you'd spent a $100, your arm would be fine and that might have been your sport for life. less

I agree here. My first toy was on a whim, it wasn't great but certainly peaked my interest. I think women would be put off if the entry into the sex toy world was $100 or so.
Yes, I have had some useless toys but even so they were part of my learning experience. When someone asks for a suggestion, I will recommend something in the $25 range, even less. It is unfortunate that some of the stand alone stores sell so much junk at exorbitant prices. This also discourages users.
And also as we should know, every toy, regardless of price, doesn't work for everyone. less

I think it would be worthwhile to write up a good article about choosing a first vibrator, and address some of the issues brought up in this thread. That sort of thing belongs on Eden's front page, and the introduction to vibrators article that is in place takes the wrong approach, in my opinion. Not a single example shown in that article is something I'd recommend to a newbie -- when I first wandered around the Internet in search of a toy, I would have pounced on something classy and understated. Sorry, but the Rabbit Habit, and those jelly toys, and the tongue? Not classy and understated. And the Rock Chic still scares me.

I'd suggest a flowchart as part of the article, one that simplified the major decisions, took advantage of whatever the user already knew of her own body, and focused her attention on the most likely toys.

Whoever writes it needs to come at it as if they're trying to help a somewhat shy friend improve her sex life, rather from either a sales angle or from the assumption that the reader is in a sex positive stage in their life. The bold and confident types will do their homework, and ask their friends. It's the timid and embarrassed people like me who are likely to duck into Spenser's in a wig and dark glasses and snatch the first piece of novelty crap they spot under a blacklight.

As for what I personally require to call a toy a beginner toy? Something quiet is far more important than something cheap. If it's noisy, you're going to be too distracted worrying about who can hear the dang thing to enjoy it, and therefore it will not work. Nor will it get multiple chances at the task, because when something fails to work and trying to make it work is stressful, trying again becomes something less than a priority.

And there's my two cents. Plus my tennis racket analogy from the other day -- if playing tennis makes your wrist hurt, you stop playing tennis before you learn that the cheap, heavy racket with the poor design hurt your wrist, so you'll never know the joy of using a lightweight racket that doesn't send jarring vibrations up to your shoulder every time you hit the ball. Of course, since you quit tennis, everyone says it's a good thing you only spent $15 on the racket, but if you'd spent a $100, your arm would be fine and that might have been your sport for life. less

I think it would be worthwhile to write up a good article about choosing a first vibrator, and address some of the issues brought up in this thread. That sort of thing belongs on Eden's front page, and the introduction to vibrators article that is in place takes the wrong approach, in my opinion. Not a single example shown in that article is something I'd recommend to a newbie -- when I first wandered around the Internet in search of a toy, I would have pounced on something classy and understated. Sorry, but the Rabbit Habit, and those jelly toys, and the tongue? Not classy and understated. And the Rock Chic still scares me.

I'd suggest a flowchart as part of the article, one that simplified the major decisions, took advantage of whatever the user already knew of her own body, and focused her attention on the most likely toys.

Whoever writes it needs to come at it as if they're trying to help a somewhat shy friend improve her sex life, rather from either a sales angle or from the assumption that the reader is in a sex positive stage in their life. The bold and confident types will do their homework, and ask their friends. It's the timid and embarrassed people like me who are likely to duck into Spenser's in a wig and dark glasses and snatch the first piece of novelty crap they spot under a blacklight.

As for what I personally require to call a toy a beginner toy? Something quiet is far more important than something cheap. If it's noisy, you're going to be too distracted worrying about who can hear the dang thing to enjoy it, and therefore it will not work. Nor will it get multiple chances at the task, because when something fails to work and trying to make it work is stressful, trying again becomes something less than a priority.

And there's my two cents. Plus my tennis racket analogy from the other day -- if playing tennis makes your wrist hurt, you stop playing tennis before you learn that the cheap, heavy racket with the poor design hurt your wrist, so you'll never know the joy of using a lightweight racket that doesn't send jarring vibrations up to your shoulder every time you hit the ball. Of course, since you quit tennis, everyone says it's a good thing you only spent $15 on the racket, but if you'd spent a $100, your arm would be fine and that might have been your sport for life. less

The issue with this is...

We're a community of reviewers and sexually open people who "know our stuff".

Our customers really LIKE the Rabbit Habbit and lipstick vibes. Much as I may dislike it and recommend against it, companies couldn't stay in business if millions of people weren't buying those toys most of us deem inferior.

My first vibes and dildos were jelly and rubber with a few plastics tossed in for variety. I loved them. I had no issues with them. Maybe I got lucky but companies like Cal Ex, Topco, Doc Johnson and Pipedream have been selling the hell out of that stuff for a long time and women have, as a rule, loved most of it. Each of those companies has also taken great strides to improve a lot of their older toys and make newer ones more safe - replacing jelly with elastomer, tpr and tpe and coming out with silicone lines.

Some people, a LOT of people, really like the way jelly - and jelly-like - materials feel. Silicone can never replicate that.

And, though it may seem odd, wanting classy and understated is actually the exception, not the rule. We see it even in new reviewers - once someone decides to actually get a vibrator, they rarely choose a cute little pocket rocket. They go for something like the Monkey

I agree that our guides need an update and that we should recommend things that are as reliable, discreet and of good quality as we can but, after countless hours doing live help, I also realize that a lot of folks plain old don't want those suggestions.

They want the Rabbit Habbit. less

The issue with this is...

We're a community of reviewers and sexually open people who "know our stuff".

Our customers really LIKE the Rabbit Habbit and lipstick vibes. Much as I may dislike it and recommend against it, companies couldn't stay in business if millions of people weren't buying those toys most of us deem inferior.

My first vibes and dildos were jelly and rubber with a few plastics tossed in for variety. I loved them. I had no issues with them. Maybe I got lucky but companies like Cal Ex, Topco, Doc Johnson and Pipedream have been selling the hell out of that stuff for a long time and women have, as a rule, loved most of it. Each of those companies has also taken great strides to improve a lot of their older toys and make newer ones more safe - replacing jelly with elastomer, tpr and tpe and coming out with silicone lines.

Some people, a LOT of people, really like the way jelly - and jelly-like - materials feel. Silicone can never replicate that.

And, though it may seem odd, wanting classy and understated is actually the exception, not the rule. We see it even in new reviewers - once someone decides to actually get a vibrator, they rarely choose a cute little pocket rocket. They go for something like the Monkey

I agree that our guides need an update and that we should recommend things that are as reliable, discreet and of good quality as we can but, after countless hours doing live help, I also realize that a lot of folks plain old don't want those suggestions.

They want the Rabbit Habbit. less

The issue with this is...

We're a community of reviewers and sexually open people who "know our stuff".

Our customers really LIKE the Rabbit Habbit and lipstick vibes. Much as I may dislike it and recommend against it, companies couldn't stay in business if millions of people weren't buying those toys most of us deem inferior.

My first vibes and dildos were jelly and rubber with a few plastics tossed in for variety. I loved them. I had no issues with them. Maybe I got lucky but companies like Cal Ex, Topco, Doc Johnson and Pipedream have been selling the hell out of that stuff for a long time and women have, as a rule, loved most of it. Each of those companies has also taken great strides to improve a lot of their older toys and make newer ones more safe - replacing jelly with elastomer, tpr and tpe and coming out with silicone lines.

Some people, a LOT of people, really like the way jelly - and jelly-like - materials feel. Silicone can never replicate that.

And, though it may seem odd, wanting classy and understated is actually the exception, not the rule. We see it even in new reviewers - once someone decides to actually get a vibrator, they rarely choose a cute little pocket rocket. They go for something like the Monkey

I agree that our guides need an update and that we should recommend things that are as reliable, discreet and of good quality as we can but, after countless hours doing live help, I also realize that a lot of folks plain old don't want those suggestions.

They want the Rabbit Habbit. less

The thing is I see NO problem with wanting those toys, whether you're a beginner or not. I fucking LOVE my cheap plastic bullets, no matter how buzzy and loud and prone to falling apart and draining batteries they are. I've been loving them for years and nothing is going to tear us apart. There's nothing wrong with a jelly rabbit AS LONG as people know the potential risks that go along with jelly, not least of which including breeding bacteria and possibly having carcinogenic materials in them. But even still, throw a condom on that bad boy and go do your thing. I totally hear you on this, Carrie Ann. Do I wish everyone loved really safe stuff that wouldn't possibly leech cadmium into their bodies? Yes. But do they? No, and that's their business. less

I agree that far too often I see reviews where a crappy product is touted as great for beginners and just as often wish the reviewer would just say it's crappy instead of encouraging new people to buy shitty toys.

But.

I also think we need to use caution in assuming beginners are only new to sex toys, not sex, and may want giant, jackhammer toys. This may be the case for some people but we need to have a standard for what a "beginner" is - we don't want some young woman with no sexual experience buying a 1.75 inch diameter toy because someone recommended it was good for beginners. It's not going to be, not for MOST beginners.

I believe the category P'Gell is speaking of is different than "beginners" as the term is generally used standardly in the industry. It's also a totally different topic than crap vs quality.

A crap toy is a crap toy, regardless of its size, shape and vibrational intensity.

A standard beginner toy is a standard beginner toy and is good for standard beginners.

A substantial, high powered, good quality toy is different than a beginner toy and, rather than assume it is good for all beginners, we should perhaps recommend those for people new to sex toys but not sex. Someone who is sexually experienced, someone who is having a hard time with orgasm and looking for help, is not necessarily a "beginner". I kind of expect a 30 something woman who has had sex before but wants more, better orgasms to know she's not a beginner.

I'd have been horrified if someone handed me a Wahl or a Hitachi as my first sex toy. I'd have never picked up a vibrator again. My first rabbit WAS so big I didn't look at sex toys for a long time after trying it.

I'm babbling away here and not making any sense. One cup of coffee just isn't cutting it.

Maybe we should cease using the term beginner for the most part, as what that "is" can't really be determined by us? less

On more than a couple of reviews (here and on other sites) a few reviewers seem to not like a toy, usually due to cheap materials, only surface, buzzy, or less than intense vibrations and/or poor workmanship and some claim, "It would be good for a beginner."

It's beginning to bug me. IMO, "Beginners" either those starting their sex lives or starting their "sex toy" lives need good quality, good vibrational, quality workmanship toys not crap.

I've seen too many people (mainly women) complain that "vibrators don't work for me" only to find out, after much probing, that they have only tried very inexpensive, poorly made toys.

Don't "beginners" deserve the best as well? In fact, those of us who don't consider ourselves "beginners" can probably tolerate a poorly made toy more, knowing full well that this particular toy is NOT the standard of excellence for the Sex Toy Industry and that not all vibrators/toys are equal. Most of us know there is better out there. More than someone who has only known one toy, and gives up on sex toys due to it being poorly made and lacking in quality.

If we can maybe agree that "a good toy for beginners" might (or might not be) a toy without a lot of bells and whistles, one with a nice size, but not huge (it depends on who the beginner is) but that will give them a good experience, even if it costs a bit more, I'd be happier.

Just had to say my piece.

Peace.

less

On more than a couple of reviews (here and on other sites) a few reviewers seem to not like a toy, usually due to cheap materials, only surface, buzzy, or less than intense vibrations and/or poor workmanship and some claim, "It would be good for a beginner."

It's beginning to bug me. IMO, "Beginners" either those starting their sex lives or starting their "sex toy" lives need good quality, good vibrational, quality workmanship toys not crap.

I've seen too many people (mainly women) complain that "vibrators don't work for me" only to find out, after much probing, that they have only tried very inexpensive, poorly made toys.

Don't "beginners" deserve the best as well? In fact, those of us who don't consider ourselves "beginners" can probably tolerate a poorly made toy more, knowing full well that this particular toy is NOT the standard of excellence for the Sex Toy Industry and that not all vibrators/toys are equal. Most of us know there is better out there. More than someone who has only known one toy, and gives up on sex toys due to it being poorly made and lacking in quality.

If we can maybe agree that "a good toy for beginners" might (or might not be) a toy without a lot of bells and whistles, one with a nice size, but not huge (it depends on who the beginner is) but that will give them a good experience, even if it costs a bit more, I'd be happier.

Just had to say my piece.

Peace.

less

Thank you.Here is an article I wrote for EdenCafe about the issue. It contains a lot of good recommendations for "Beginners" along with several definitions of "beginner." (My second toy was a large, "luxury vibe" called the Boss Lady by Fun Factory. I was not a beginner to sex, just to toys. Most people wouldn't think of a very long, large circumference toy as "a beginner toy" but as I wasn't new to sex, it was just exactly what I needed.) Anyway, Carrie Ann did a great job with the pictures and Tumblers of the toys, so you can view each one.article on "Beginner" toys less