Problems with thrusting/lube

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rox

Hello eden community!

I have experimented with anal masturbation since roughly one year, on average 2 to 3 times a month and I do enjoy it as a kind of "special treat" opposed to everyday normal masturbation. As I have gotten more curious and adventurous, I've tried out various silicone toys until I found the ones that really worked for me (which are the Tiger and the Magnum, both from FunFactory) and I also experimented with lubes.

This is where the trouble begins... I have few problems inserting the toys, but thrusting is nearly impossible without rubbing and pain or if I am lucky it just takes about two hours to "work it up" and even then I have to constantly reapply massive amounts of lube. While it is sometimes possible to enjoy it, all the work it takes is tedious and destroys much of the built-up tension/feeling.

Until now, I've tried three different water-based lubes, two silicone-based ones and one oil-based one. The water-based work fine all the time, but they are absorbed/consumed extremely quickly, so I have to add some more every 10 or 20 seconds of thrusting or else it will hurt pretty bad. The silicone ones didn't go well with the toys, were really hard to wash off and sort of sticky, so they are no alternative. Recently I bought the oil-based one from Yes, which has a pleasant smell, feels good afterwards and really lasts long, but the feeling is a bit sticky - OK for slow massage, but not really useful for fast and hard penetration. Oil and water in combination has all the advantages and drawbacks of water alone.

I couldn't find any helpful information on the net, I assume because the topic is only slowly leaving the taboo regions, at least on the majority of sites. So far I've had the following ideas for possible causes:

a) Fast thrusting doesn't work with silicone toys.
While I can't confirm or deny this myself, I've read numerous reviews which state that it is not a problem even with silicone (smooth one, to be precise).
b) I have tried the wrong lubes and there is yet a magic bottle of lube out there that will just work.
So far I tried Durex Play, Yes Water-based, FunFactory Toyfluid, Yes Oil-Based, Pjur and id Milennium (both silicone).
c) Not enough relaxation.
I use my fingers only to lube everything up and then switch right over to toys because I enjoy them more. I also tried with an orgasm before anal play, but that doesn't seem to make a difference. Insertion is always quick, easy and painless and slow motions are fine too, but everything else (that is, hard and fast thrusting for more than 10 seconds) just doesn't work like expected.
d) Hair... *eww*
Ok, this may sound a bit gross, but as I am a guy I have some hair down there. I've never shaved it because I like the pubic hair on the front and a shaved anus while everything else is hairy would look a bit weird to say the least... oh, and I also read terrible stories about the itching when all those hairs grow back. But as I tried everything else and nothing helped and considering that the majority of anally experienced people has few or no hair down there I assume that this must be be cause of my problems, although it doesn't really sound logical.

To sum all that up: what should I do? I really like the sensations of fast and hard anal thrusting (not just the feelings down there, but also the ideas and the "brain stuff" connected with it), it is heavenly and I would really like to have an easy, comfortable and efficient way of enjoying it. As so many people are having anal sex and enjoying anal masturbation, there must be a way to solve this problem... or at least I hope so. Any input and help is greatly appreciated!

Best regards,
rox

03/03/2010

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EffinSara

It sounds like you should give a thicker water-based lube a try. There are plenty out there that are made specifically for anal use. Maximus is generally a good choice, as is Ride H20. I'd recommend browsing the water-based lube section, with special attention to the lubes that are generally rated highly. Read some reviews, find something you think might work, and try it out. Not all lubes are made equal!

Silicone lubes are most likely a bad choice with silicone toys, though there are certain combinations of some brands' silicone that will work with some brands of lube. I don't know off-hand what they are, but you should always spot-test the lube somewhere on the bottom of the toy before you slather it on just to be sure that the lube won't bind to the surface of the toy.

03/03/2010

Liz2

I would also suggest Maximus and what toys are you using? Try smaller butt plugs, some you can thrust with like the Jolly Jack. But to be honest and candid, 2 plus hours of anal play(thrusting) would be most uncomfortable for most....would for me.

03/04/2010

rox

Thanks for your suggestions!

I would have tried Maximus a long time ago, as it has gotten good reviews on this site, but it's very difficult to find around here (Germany). I also don't like the idea of importing it from the USA for insane amounts of shipping and maybe additional customs charges, especially as I already tried out a few.

Regarding the thickness: ironically the best results were with the relatively thin Toyfluid. Durex Play was a lot thicker, but while it worked at the beginning, I had to reapply it much more often.

For toys I mostly use Tantus Acute to warm up, the size is just right. Then if I am in the mood, I follow up with Funfactory Magnum (sometimes Tiger instead). While the Acute has a "better" size, its drawback is the missing handle - no real grip while everything is slippery and no possibility to set it on a flat surface.

As I said before, the size and insertion is never a problem, slow and gentle movements are ok too, but heavier thrusting only after a longer time. With two hours I also didn't meant continuous, of course, that would really be a pain in the ass But I found out that the longer I play, the easier it will get, but that also depends on day and mood.

Apart from the lube issue - could wrong relaxation or the hair issue be of any concern or am I just paranoid? I thought he majority of men and women who practice anal sex and masturbation has no hair and therefore has it a lot easier with hair that get in the way and sting/hurt or lube that becomes less efficient. Any experience on the male side with this?

03/04/2010

ScottA

I have hair and have few problems - occasionally the hair gets pulled or wipes some lube off, but it's not a big problem. I tried shaving a few times, and while I like the shaved feeling hair is irritating whilst growing in, and I tend to nick something while shaving, which isn't fun.

I have a few things that you might like to think of.

First: How good are you at relaxing your anus? If it isn't quite relaxed it will tend to "squeegee" off the lube, and you'll get irritation, especially with a textured toy such as the Tiger. It took me a while to learn to control my anus enough to enjoy fast thrusting with the Tiger, but it was worth it. Relaxing is much harder if you're concurrently playing with your penis.

Secondly: The tissues of the large intestine are designed to absorb water from whatever they are in contact with. This, especially in conjunction with the "squeegee effect" of the anus, tends to make things dry out inside easily. There are a couple of things that I've tried that help counteract this - I'll give you both. The first would be a "lube shooter". You can either buy them (often prefilled), or else get a piston "irrigating syringe" (it looks like a hypodermic with a plastic nozzle instead of the needle) You might need to do some modifications to get it to work well anally, but either one of these allow you to inject some lube into the rectum, lubricating the rectum and anus from within. When the dildo slides out it will drag some lube with it and help keep things slick. The second thing that I've found helps is anal douching. 3 or fewer douches seem to thin out the naturally present mucous making it much more lubricating and also limiting the amount of water it steals from your lube.

Maximus is made in GBR, so you should be able to source it in the EU. Another alternative that I sometimes use is vegetable shortening mixed with a little coconut oil to thin it a bit. It's thickish and sticks to silicone, but thin enough to allow for fast thrusting. Bear to clean up, though.

03/04/2010

rox

Thank you for your answer, Scott, it was very insightful for me.

Your concerns about shaving are exactly the ones I had in mind (I tried it at one time, but it was quite bloody and painful and didn't look too good at the end). Good to know that it isn't the cause of the problems.

About the relaxation: Yes, I experienced the problems while I played with my penis, because the combination of both gets me the best feelings. Thrusting alone does feel a bit awkward, so I seldom do it, but as you suggested, I will try it out as soon as I get back home to my toys. Maybe it would also be good to not try to relax, but just don't think about it and let it come naturally - I experienced that particular feeling one time, when I was in sort of a "flow" after an intense orgasm and maybe completely relaxed without thinking about it (which was, of course, great and absolutely painless).

Concerning the lube thing, you are right again - I never tried douching, mainly because everything was clean and odorless after a normal shower, and because I didn't want to stress my anus any more (I don't want to have any negative side-effects in the future from enjoying myself). But I will definitively try it out in the near future. What would be a good device to use? Some people suggest those little bulbs filled with water, others use the shower handle with low water speed... what would be a safe (for the body) and clean way of doing it (maybe just once to try it out without losing much money)? Oh, and how often can you clean yourself out in such a way without harming/exhausting the body? Would once a week be ok?

The idea with the syringe also looks pretty good, but I thought the problems lie more in the area of the sphincter and 2-3 cm behind it instead of deep in the anus - but I will try it and hopefully be proven wrong.

I did a quick search for Maximus in the UK and instantly found a website who ships to all European countries and just charges about 7 Euros for the 250ml bottle, that is even cheaper than the "cheap" lube you can get around here - many thanks for this hint (and of course the other ones too)!

03/05/2010

ScottA

I agree that it is much more fun to play with both front and back at the same time, but when you're starting it can be hard to keep the anus relaxed while playing with your penis. In order to help learn to relax your anus while playing I'd recommend trying to keep a little pressure ("pushing out" like you're going to the bathroom) on your abdominal muscles while playing - it works the same way that pushing out does when you're trying to introduce something into the anus.

If you want to go the enema route, a bulb-type syringe is probably the best to start with because you can keep a close watch on how much water you're injecting.

The lube "shooters" help lubricate at the anus as well as inside. Since there is a "reservoir" of lube inside your rectum/anal canal the toy picks some up while it's inside and brings some of it out with the toy to lubricate the anus. It's hard to explain, but it does help.

03/05/2010

Fun2bNaked

I have used a lot of different lubricants when I play with my butt plugs or probes. I have found that any lubricant should be in a gel form or thicker consistency for ease of use. Any lubricant that is in a liquid form just tends to run right off which doesn't help with the initial penetration. Once I have relaxed enough a liquid lubricant can be used, but for the initial penetration I definitely use something with a thicker consistency. That is the key...at least for me. There are a lot of gel or thicker formulas out there, it is just a matter of finding the one that works best for you. My preference is Astroglide Gel Formula. Hope you find what works best for you.

03/05/2010

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