The New Intimacy

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Why choose a dildo over a vibrator?

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Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Our first experience with sex toys was with an ugly beige vibrator that came to a pointed tip that we got from Spencer's Gifts. This was about 30 years ago and made of plastic. We didn't use it long (it HURT me cause of the tip) and never looked at toys again until recently because of that.

Fast forward to 2 years ago when a girlfriend tells me I NEED to get a bullet...that I'll get off so fast with it, etc.

I didn't get one - till recently.

But of our current five toys - one is a vibrating jelly o-right which I can't stand - and the other four are vibrators of various shapes and textures. Once again, we've learned that I need a bulb-shaped head.

I look at dildos and they look so neat - but I don't understand what is so great about them compared to a vibrator. Using the bullet to get me going and then others to hit my G-spot, my husband can give me multiple orgasms and playtimes that last an hour or more (with me collapsing afterward).

We used to play 20 minutes once a week - now its about 45 minutes to an hour twice a day - and its the vibrator that gets me off.

So can someone explain to me about why folks like dildos and if we should try one (or more) which ones? Is there something about thrusting with one that does more than a vibrator?

I'm not trying to knock dildos - Gunsmoke did a review of one that is large and mentioned another one which looks very interesting. But before I spend that type of money on something that doesn't vibrate - I'd like to understand what makes them so great.
10/06/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Constructive discussions on Vibrating dildos:

Dildos over vibrators
For those of you that prefer dildos over vibes, why?

The best vibrating strap on dildo.
I am going to buy a vibrating strap on and i want to know which one other couples recommend.

Dildo vs. Vibrator
I am having a hard time getting used to the idea of a dildo vs. a vibrator! As far as using one goes, how does one decide which is better for oneself?

vibrating or non vibrating dildo
I am new at all of this and was wondering if a vibrating or non vibrating would be best for a beginner!!

Salsa or Tango in Tantus Dildos
Has anyone ever swapped out, in the Tantus dildos that are bullet compatible, the Tantus bullet for the Salsa or Tango from We-Vibe? Was it a good...
10/06/2011
Contributor: TheBadHobbit TheBadHobbit
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Our first experience with sex toys was with an ugly beige vibrator that came to a pointed tip that we got from Spencer's Gifts. This was about 30 years ago and made of plastic. We didn't use it long (it HURT me cause of the tip) and never ... more
Now see, vibrations can be a bit too much for me. Either they're soft and distracting, or they're too strong and make me wince! Vibrators can be nice, but . . . eh, maybe I've just not played with them enough.

On the other hand, sometimes I just want something to play with really slowly, with a very gentle level of stimulation . . . Or sometimes I like having something I can just insert and leave there while I idly play with the rest of me. A dildo is . . . well, CAN be . . low-key enough that it gives me something to hold/rub/squeeze, but doesn't overwhelm me with that buzzing! Of course that kind of idle play doesn't usually get me off, but then not much does. Hurray for medicinal side effects x.x

Too long; didn't read: I don't know about others, but I find dildos are better for a long slow session, especially since vibrators can overstimulate me in the ouchie! sort of way. S'why I'm getting a dildo with removeable bullet . . I can try and work up to the vibes, or just leave them out.

Of course you could get a vibrator and just not turn it on, but that always feels . . . wasteful, somehow. Like I'm not respecting the toy >.>
10/06/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Sometimes I just like the simple realism of a dildo. I'm not keen on realistic shaped vibrators, so that's where dildos come in.
Plus I like variety - don't want all the same category of toys in my collection.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Neurogasm Neurogasm
The thing about vibrators with me is that if I'm also using a vibrator on my clit, sometimes I can't feel the vibrations inside me as easily. The texture and flexibility of my dildos are what attracts me to them. And a lot of the time, internal vibrations aren't the most important thing to me.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I rarely find a vibrator with enough vibration for me, or the vibrations transfer to the handle once inserted (which annoys me). I would rather rely on my Magic Wand for vibrations, it always has plenty if I need them.

Vibrators are great for warm up, but I can never seem to get all the way there with them, or it takes forever if I do!

I prefer pressure and the sensation of thrusting over vibrations. The Bad Hobbit said she sometimes finds the vibrations distracting, and I agree. I can not feel the texture of the toy when thrusting, if it is vibrating.
10/06/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I used to feel exactly the same way. I mostly used rabbit vibes, in fact. Then I got my first glass dildo. I loved it. Then I got my first silicone dildo. I loved that too. Now I'd say I use dildos more often than vibrators! (And boy has my dildo collection grown.) I do use a clitoral vibe when I'm using a dildo - that way I can get the great g-spot stimulation and a little clit stimulation to send me right over the edge. I've found I can have more multiples with a dildo/clit vibe combo, and they're often stronger. I am a huge fan of g-spot stimulation too, and I don't really enjoy vibrations on my g-spot unless they're pretty rumbly (as opposed to the buzzy vibrations most toys provide internally).

I always thrusted my vibrators when I used them, so switching to a dildo was a natural progression. YES there is definitely something about thrusting them, especially if they have a nice g-spot curve!
10/06/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
For me, personally, I enjoy my G-spot and A-spot orgasms. More-so than my clitoral orgasms. I really only like vibration on my clit, and will use that vibration in conjunction with penetration. Also for me, I need very firm pressure on my G-spot, so I ONLY like solid, unyielding dildos with a sharp curve (Pure Wand and Icicles #17 being my favorites). So usually only glass and steel for me. I need that weight and pressure.

I have ONE vibrator that I like to use vaginally. It has pretty strong, adjustable vibrations AND it is a pretty solid vibrator. Not to mention, we only use it in conjunction with its sister, and we usually match the vibrations to match each other so that I'm stimulating my clit and g-spot at the same speed at the same time. If that's not what's happening, then internal vibrations do very little for me.

If you've never experienced a G-spot or A-spot orgasm, I do recommend getting a dildo (something soft, I didn't discover my love for unyielding materials until I played for a while with softer ones) and spending some time alone (less pressure, more opportunity to explore unabashedly)to really get to know your body. Take your time and really feel all the different sensations. What seems strange and awkward the first time you feel it might be the most exciting thing if you just go with it.
10/06/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
To be honest, I use dildos because I'm not at all fond of the sensation of something buzzy inside me. I like to thrust with my toys, not have them vibrate. Everyone's different, though, so I'd say go with what you enjoy.
10/06/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Here are some inexpensive options made of body-safe materials:

Ella, Climax wavy, Amor, Super, Grrl Toyz, Slim Jim

All these are silicone and are in the $20-$40 price range.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
For me, personally, I enjoy my G-spot and A-spot orgasms. More-so than my clitoral orgasms. I really only like vibration on my clit, and will use that vibration in conjunction with penetration. Also for me, I need very firm pressure on my G-spot, so ... more
Wow - thanks for the specific recommendations. I appreciate it.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I don't feel anything special with inside vibes. In fact, I don't feel them at all.

The 'friction' of a dildo, on the other hand, that's what I prefer - feeling that lovely thrust, of intense movement, of being able to control the speed and pressure and rhythm ... Feels more like sex to me.

I had a good experience with the Executive link since it has a good balance of firm and soft, and just enough texture to feel great when thrusting.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
I am very ambivalent about internal vibrations. Vibrations on my clit are one thing, and great, but internal vibrations are another thing altogether and usually don't do anything for me, or do so little that I barely care.

If you do care about internal vibrations, then any advice I might give you may not work for your preferences.

There are some cheap decent dildos out there, just as there are cheap decent vibrators, so I'm not sure why the price would be much of an issue as in being able to afford vibes but not dildos.
10/06/2011
Contributor: MissStormRyder MissStormRyder
My clit is really super sensitive and direct contact with vibrators is too much for me..I need it to be turned down to the lowest it will go...Soooooo I'm an dildo girl!
10/06/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
I used to look at dildos and wonder, "Why bother?" But then I got curious and got one with my very first order with Eden. After that, I was hooked. While internal vibrations are all right, I find that they're not something I go gaga over, so I like dildos better for thrusting while I focus vibrations on my clit.

It really comes down to personal preference, though. If you think vibrations are really important, then there's nothing wrong with sticking with that. But if you're curious and don't want to spend a lot of money, the ones BBW suggested should be right up your alley. Tantus also makes some nice ones for under $40 (click "sort by price" to get a better look at the cheaper ones). If you like pronounced heads, you might like the Acute.

One nice thing about dildos: you never have to worry about batteries/plugging in/recharging, or the motor dying. Even the highest-quality vibes will die at some point, but a dildo in a good material can last at least a lifetime.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
I use to be the same as you. Until Swell, I absolutely love this toy! It is amazing! Even though it does not vibrate the texture and friction are awesome. This is by far my favorite toy! And if you really like bullets and vibes try a massager. Like mini wanachi, unless you do not like sound!
10/06/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Clean-up and the feeling "full" I think.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
I used to think the same thing. Unfortunately Vibrators don't come in the same range of sizes that dildo's do.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I guess part of it is that I don't understand why get a dildo when I have a man who satisfies me?

I can understand getting vibrators cause he doesn't vibrate but it seems like he offers everything a dildo does.

Honestly - I'm enjoying this and I'm not putting dildos down. But before I spend money on one - and I'm leaning towards Johnny or Tex - I'd like to really "get" why its worth getting one when I have a guy that rocks my boat.
10/06/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I guess part of it is that I don't understand why get a dildo when I have a man who satisfies me?

I can understand getting vibrators cause he doesn't vibrate but it seems like he offers everything a dildo does.

Honestly - ... more
I guess that would depend if the boundaries in your sexual relationship allows for solo time. If it does, then having a dildo can offer you similar sensations that you cannot have during solo play. Not to mention, a dildo is a great opportunity to have something that offers different sensations than your husband due to length, girth, texture, etc. (Don't let him convince you that if you get something bigger that you're going to stretch out... the vagina is full of very elastic muscles.)

As a couple, Mr likes using a dildo on me when he is tired or not feeling up to the task for whatever reason, or even to incite multiples, because he can reach different angles and thrust faster with his hands than he can with his hips. There are hand harnesses and thigh harnesses that he can also wear that allow for different types of play.

And for me, personally, the use of dildos helped me learn more about what my body likes, what it responds to, how to make myself come without the use of a vibrator or fingers on my clit. All this knowledge was passed down to Mr and now our sex life is even better because he now knows how to please me better.
10/07/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I just want to add, that I always went with non-realistic dildos, and really, only use non-realistic dildos for myself. I *am* curious about some of the realistic ones and might invest sometime in one, but I always went non-realistic because I always figured: I have a penis that feels like a penis, I don't have one that is shaped like _____________.

It's always made Mr more comfortable that I feel that way about dildos.
10/07/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
Dildos also allow you to experiment with temperature play. Nothing like the feeling of cold glass to me. Some like warm too. If is nice. Just do not put it in the freezer.
10/07/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
We often use our phallic vibes as dildos. I like feeling My Man going down on me during penetration with a phallic toy. When we turn on the vibrators during oral sex, I becomes confused and miss the feeling of just his mouth and fingers on me.

Also, many people (Not us, but a lot of people) like to use dildos for pegging, harness play and packing, as well as gender play. You really can't do those with most vibrators.

And, people have mentioned temperature play. I like the way my silicone vibes feel in a cold room, but a glass dildo, chilled, is something no one should miss.

Also, dildos can be thoroughly sanitized. You can boil them, totally immerse them in water, use bleach solution all over them, use a cleaning spray or foam without worrying about getting it into all the cracks or ruining the battery compartment (or the batteries, since I wash my waterproof and splashproof toys with the batteries.)

Many dildos also come in glass and stainless steel and aluminum and it's difficult to find a high quality vibrator in these materials. I've never seen a stainless steel vibrator, but you can get wonderful stainless steel dildos.

There is also the "realistic factor." A lot of well made dildos simply look more like a penis than vibes do.

It's up to you. But, I think every full collection should contain at least one good dildo to start and then move on from there.
10/07/2011
Contributor: Nora Nora
I'm still trying to find a dildo I like...I have one that looked the right "size" on the computer screen, but in reality the thing is gigantic and takes lots of working up to and I can only use it for a few minutes at any given time. Then, we got a "Mr. Softee"...size wise it's about right, but with absolutely nothing at the end to hang onto, it is difficult to use when things get slippery!

Neither of us are very interested in the "real" looking ones either, but they do make some fantastically real looking ones in all sorts of colors (we have ours in bright red and baby blue)! It helps make them look less like a decapitated body part in my opinion...
10/07/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
I stumbled onto dildos when I was playing with my old broken rabbit vibe. I was bored one night, set it up right and rode it a little.. I had an orgasm which surprised the heck out of me! I didn't know I could have orgasms from penetration so imagine my surprise.

Now I've been crazy for them since then.. still looking for my knight in silicone armor but I do prefer them to vibes. I have the hitachi and honestly anything other than it seems to fall short to me.. and thats only on the low setting. I don't dare to switch it higher.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
I stumbled onto dildos when I was playing with my old broken rabbit vibe. I was bored one night, set it up right and rode it a little.. I had an orgasm which surprised the heck out of me! I didn't know I could have orgasms from penetration so ... more
"Knight in Silicone Armor" is probably the best way to refer to a dildo I've ever heard. It'd also be a good band name.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I much prefer the feeling of thrusting to the feeling of just being vibrated. Vibration can be distracting to me. Also, G-spot orgasms and A-spot orgasms (and just plain vaginal orgasms that aren't named after any 'spot') are much easier for me to have multiples of, while clitoral orgasms usually I'm finished for a while after I have one.

I also really enjoy double penetration, and there it's all about pressure and thrusting as well.

Finally, my first sex toy experience ever was with a disgusting jelly toy which made me swear never to get anything that smelled so bad again... and so the next thing I found was glass. They are coming out with glass vibrators now, but they weren't existent yet when I was first looking. So, I learned to love dildos because I wanted the ultra-safe material.

Personally, a really good first glass dildo is the Gold Laced G (that's my review) or the Bumpy Spiral Double Dong, which I haven't reviewed but I really like it, especially for a beginner the option of texture is nice.

If you haven't found your G-spot yet, I see BBWTT already mentioned the Ella.

And personally, my favorite silicone dildo of all time is the VIP. If I had to get rid of all my silicone toys but one, I would keep this one.

Also, if you don't know how thrusting works yet, I learned a lot from the Tantus Alumina Motion (that's a link to my review, it goes in depth about why dildos are awesome).
10/08/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I guess part of it is that I don't understand why get a dildo when I have a man who satisfies me?

I can understand getting vibrators cause he doesn't vibrate but it seems like he offers everything a dildo does.

Honestly - ... more
My answer to this---double penetration! You have a guy that rocks your boat---but he's only got one!
10/08/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Our first experience with sex toys was with an ugly beige vibrator that came to a pointed tip that we got from Spencer's Gifts. This was about 30 years ago and made of plastic. We didn't use it long (it HURT me cause of the tip) and never ... more
I don't like to knock dildos either. I will tell you the truth, all the dildos I own are made of glass. I use them as sort of a warm up, or something to play with when I'm alone BEFORE I pull out the vibes. It gets me horny and in the mood. I rarely finish off with one.

There are some that feel really nice if I run it up and down my clit, so that would be the exceptions. But dildos are really just for having that "full" feeling and G-Spot stimulation.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
My answer to this---double penetration! You have a guy that rocks your boat---but he's only got one!
THIS EXACTLY!!!!
10/08/2011