A very embarrassing question about masturbation sleeves (and oral sex)

It's wonderful that you want to please your beloved one so much and there's nothing to be embarrassed about

Sorry, I can't be a lot of help here, but I looked through reviews and product descriptions and this thing looks like a good one At least that's what I would have chosen.

As for me and my partner - we've tried only Tenga egg once, which was pretty good, but one-use only and without another hole at the end, both of which are not what you're looking for. less

Thanks - it looks like that item is out of stock right now - I will have to keep an eye open for it.

I thought about getting the Maven and then cutting off the "other end" so I could give him oral while stimulating him.

I'm really hoping some guys (and gals) will chip in with their suggestions. less

Can I ask you a personal question? Will help me respond. What about going down on him grosses you out? If we look at that maybe we can overcome your trepidation together! There are so many oral techniques you can tand while using hand stimulation at the same time. Possibly more hand with lube and just using your mouth on the head.
I've never used a sleeve while going down at the same time, but I'm sure it's possible! less

Probably saying grosses me out was the wrong way to express it...

I think that a large part of the problem was that when I tried it - I do not have any stamina and can only do it for a couple of minutes before I absolutely need a break. It is hard on the muscles in my mouth.

The same thing with manual stimulation - I don't have much strength in my arms and I don't have good muscles (yes - I know those can be developed). My husband has also stated that over the years, he has sorta become numb to how things feel (he can still orgasm - but more from thrusting vs. how his penis feels to the touch).

I tried oral the other day and could only do it for a couple of minutes.

I HATE HATE HATE the feel of lubricant on my hands - it just grosses me out - so someone had privately suggested to me that I consider using a sleeve on him and locking my fingers together so I could flex against the sleeve so I'm using my arm muscles versus my hand muscles and then also doing oral on the top to help him.

I think that I could handle that - I've tried playing with my hands together like that to see how it feels and that is doable.

By the way - my husband has never demanded oral or anything else and he's said that while he would probably like it - he would never want to "make" me do anything.

But he's given so much to me over the years and we're now having so much fun with the toys that I want to find a way to give back to him - especially for his birthday in a few days.

I don't think I could do oral to completion - or even a hand job to completion....but I would like to at least do it enough to try. less

Cutting the end out of a sleeve and using it while you give head might not be your best bet if you hate the feel of lube on your hands, because there's a good chance that it will not only get on your hands but in your mouth too. And you do NOT want to use a sleeve on him without lube because they usually will chafe a man otherwise. If you do decide to try the sleeve/oral together though, I really suggest getting a nice flavored lubricant just in case.

Since you said your oral aversion is stamina-based, why not give him a little oral until you're no longer comfortable, and then switch to a sleeve? There's nothing wrong with changing methods, and you might not have to do so much manual stimulation since he'd already be feeling pleasure from the oral.

One more thing that might help: you mentioned that he has become somewhat numb to sensations. Something that might help with that is to try a sleeve with a lot of texture, like the Si-X N or the Tenga Flip hole. The Maven you mentioned is on the milder end of the spectrum sensation-wise (according to Alan), and it's rather large to handle as a woman pleasing her man.

Hope this helps less

Thanks everyone for your comments.

He and I talked about this last night for quite a while.

Basically, he likes the fact that I want to please him and he likes the fact that I will pay attention to him orally or by massaging him - but he does not feel a need to have me do that until completion. Instead, he'd rather have it be part of foreplay for us both.

He sorta felt like I was making a bigger deal out of it than it is for him. As he put it, Does he enjoy it? Yes. Does he need it? Not so much.

From what I've read - its almost like he prefers being more of a "top" and doing things to me / with me - than having things done to him. less

Thanks everyone for your comments.

He and I talked about this last night for quite a while.

Basically, he likes the fact that I want to please him and he likes the fact that I will pay attention to him orally or by massaging him - but he does not feel a need to have me do that until completion. Instead, he'd rather have it be part of foreplay for us both.

He sorta felt like I was making a bigger deal out of it than it is for him. As he put it, Does he enjoy it? Yes. Does he need it? Not so much.

From what I've read - its almost like he prefers being more of a "top" and doing things to me / with me - than having things done to him. less

Thanks everyone for your comments.

He and I talked about this last night for quite a while.

Basically, he likes the fact that I want to please him and he likes the fact that I will pay attention to him orally or by massaging him - but he does not feel a need to have me do that until completion. Instead, he'd rather have it be part of foreplay for us both.

He sorta felt like I was making a bigger deal out of it than it is for him. As he put it, Does he enjoy it? Yes. Does he need it? Not so much.

From what I've read - its almost like he prefers being more of a "top" and doing things to me / with me - than having things done to him. less

Don't worry about blushing or being embarrassed; we've all been there. Oral used to gross me out and I had no idea what the heck do to with it in my mouth (3 years later and I've finally got it down just right).

When I first started giving oral to my boyfriend, here's what I did: Hold just under the head with one hand (gently of course) and sucking on the head. Lube up your other hand with some cream or preferred lube at the base of the shaft or testicles. When you're just getting started (and those days when you don't want to take it deep) it works like a charm and you'll have him purring in your hands and mouth.

I know I hate doing it to completion (tastes nasty and leaves a funky taste/smell for a while) but foreplay is great...you can tease him for however short or long you want and he's at your mercy less

Last night we tried using a rubber glove - it was great.

Tonight he sorta shocked me...he was teasing me with a vibrator that is about his size...but he'd put some flavored lube on it. Wow...

I begged him to put some on himself and he did - I was not able to bring him to completion but we sure had bunches and bunches of fun. I'd do what I could and then take a break and then do what I could and then take a break.

Poor guy - he's exhausted right now and has said he needs a couple of days off. He says he can take care of me - but he just needs a break now.

Hmm...don't know about that. Promised him I wouldn't do it this morning since he's so tired - but I'm thinking that about 3 am on Wednesday morning (he gets up at 4 am to get to work by 6 am) - I might put some of the lube on him and just start sucking and give him something to remember - even if he's too tired to come to completion right then.

I can't believe how using a lube helped and how his teasing me with the vibrator helped.

He said that he'd like to find a realistic dildo that he could play with me like that....before moving on to him because there are some positions we're doing now where I can't reach him to suck on him while he's using the vibrators on me.

Suggestions for life-size/lifelike dildos?

And the best flavored lubes?

I love what we have - I got it at Walmart as a surprise and it works great...but hey...variety is nice also. less

Really glad to hear that that! It sounds like you both had a great time, and that's what it's all about.

For lifelike dildos, I strongly favor the VixSkin line. Some of them feel overly grabby when they're dry, but once you add some lube the realism is hard to beat. Not to mention that they're very high quality silicone so they'll last for years if you take good care of them.

For flavored lubes, my favorite is Sliquid Swirl's cherry vanilla, but I've heard other people talk about how good the other flavors are too. Alan likes WET brand's blueberry flavor, but to me it seems to taste a little too "lubey" if we use too much of it.

~M less

Thanks. Remember how I was gonna let him sleep today?

Yeah....right.

I was dreaming and horny...he thought he heard me using the bullet (I wasn't).

I'll just say that I AM getting better at oral (he says so) and we'll both have big smiles on our faces today from our playtime.

I will look into the lubricants you mentioned. I doublechecked - the one we have is Strawberry Kiwi and it really doesn't bother me at all - he wanted me to massage him and suck on him and I said, "Only if you put lube on" and he was like "For the taste?" and I said, "No....because this lube's texture doesn't bother me for once...and I know you've said it hurts without lube"

He had a super big smile on his face.

I think we can even toss the plastic gloves. less

Final update - thanks to everyone for their help.

Last night I was able to give him oral until he came. WOW. I was in shock - he hasn't had an orgasm like that in years and it is a "gift" I plan to give him as often as I can.

Afterwards he was like, "I figured it would be months before we'd reach that point." I was confused and said, "But I've been doing so much better at working on this and learning.." and he said, "It wasn't you. I didn't think I would be able to let go and lose control so totally like that..".

Once again - thanks from a very happy couple. less