The New Intimacy

Pelvic Floor Control, Vaginismus, and the Jopen Intensity

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Contributor: eblossom eblossom
I'm wondering if any more experienced toy users can give me feedback on the Jopen Intensity: link

I have read all the reviews, which have definitely peaked my interest, despite the high price. I once had a very active and fulfilling sex life until a medical complication nearly 3 years ago left with me with a very stubborn case of vaginismus. I have seen doctors, a physical therapist, and frequently use my own set of plastic dilators with only minimal progress.

Much of this is my own fault. Recovering is painfully boring. The dilators are not in the slightest bit erotic, and the hard plastic feels more clinical than stimulating. Frankly, I've always seen the dilators as something I HAVE to do, and I think it's time to change it something more exciting. After all, I do use toys on the inside now that I've done some work -- they're just very, very skinny vibrators.

So as I was searching for my next approach, I came upon this website. The Jopen Intensity peaks my interest because kegels are an important part of strengthening and -- more particularly -- learning to control my PC muscles. The PC muscles are my worst nightmare, really. They are what close up and spasm, making it so I can't have sex.

So I'm just wondering, would you think that something like the Jopen Intensity might help me? The reviewers make it sound like a pretty simple way of exercising their muscles, and I also wonder if gradually using the pump to expand it would be an easier way for me to get used to larger sizes. As of now, I increase the size by putting larger and larger plastic dildos. It seems more fluid to increase the size inside of me, as I'm (hopefully) experiencing pleasure.

My only concern is that making the muscles too strong isn't the way to go. Essentially, I need to learn how to control them more than I need to learn how to make them really strong.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions? I'm pretty desperate at this point.
02/03/2012
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Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by eblossom
I'm wondering if any more experienced toy users can give me feedback on the Jopen Intensity: link

I have read all the reviews, which have definitely peaked my interest, despite the high price. I once had a very active and fulfilling sex ... more
Oh gosh. That sounds awful. Have you tried other forms of vaginal exercise? I use the Je Joue Ami vaginal exercisers to exercise my pc muscles. I'm not sure how they would work for you since the larger balls in the set are almost too big for me but I believe there are smaller sets of exercisers and ben wa balls. What I like to do is insert one of the exercisers and wear it throughout the day. I find that the work I have to do to keep it in place and/or move it back into place if it slips by using my pc muscles gives me a lot more strength and control. I don't know what size you're able to comfortably insert but the smallest Ami ball is not very big and would definitely give your pc muscles a work out. I find that it takes a lot of muscle control to keep it inside and in a comfortable place. There are also different exercises that are described in detail in the instruction manual that comes with the Ami set. I like the way the Ami balls feel. The silicone is very nice and the larger 2 balls have balls on the inside that roll around when I move that feel kind of like very mild vibrations which 1. feels good and 2. reminds me to exercise my muscles. I have no experience with the Intensity so I can't say whether this would work for you or not.
02/03/2012
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I'm going to preface this by saying I am a student, so I am not qualified to make recommendations yet, but I can tell you what my best guess would be. I do have the intensity though, and I'm pretty familiar with how it works.

E-stim actually ususually increases tone and if your problem is muscle spasms and muscles tightening up, I think that it might actually make it worse. I don't know a whole lot about vaginisimus in particular, but I am a physical therapy student and while we do use electrostimulation to help with spasms, we will typically do it on a muscle that works against the one that is spasming and the intensity would not do that because it would be working on the very muscles that are tightening up.

The dialator part might work on the intensity, Particularly with the rabbit to make it more enjoyable than the medical devices you are currently using, but so would using a clit vibrator with a simple inflatable dildo and would probably be cheaper and would be a good way to be able to work yourself up to a larger size and might be more enjoyable than the kit they gave you to use. Or buying a few toys of gradually increasing size might work too.

I'm sure you've been told this before, but slow, firm pressure massage and some slow stretching (such as your dialator kit, or an inflatable dildo) can help some with spasms.

I hope you can find a solution that works for you, and it may be worth it to talk to your OB/GYN, PT, or maybe an occupational therapist about it to see what they think before you spend $250 on a toy like the intensity.
02/03/2012
Contributor: eblossom eblossom
Thank you so much for both of your responses.

@Charletnarouh, I have tried the exercises described in the most popular vaginismus work book, which mostly involve doing kegels, working on "bearing down," and working with the dilators. My physical therapist was more interested in frequent stretches, exercising, relaxation techniques, and dilators. The most effective thing for me has definitely been the dilators, but as I said, I just have trouble motivating myself. After a couple months, I can comfortably insert a dilator about 4.75 inches in diameter after about 30 minutes of prepping with smaller ones. But being able to insert it and relax seems to be a completely different battle than enjoying sex.

I did check out the Ami exercisers, though the ones I saw seemed really bulbous. I will definitely investigate some smaller ones. I'm really willing to try anything that might be a little more pleasurable or less of a chore than the dilators, particularly if it was a better feeling material.

@Taylor, I hadn't really thought of it in that way, actually. You are probably right. I think it was particularly my fascination with the Intensity that drove me to even consider it. There are so many toys I have on my "to try" list for when I'm back to normal.

When I use the dilators and feel the spasming, I try to mimic what my PT used to do, which was just slowly sort of push against it. I honestly thing I would be better by now if I hadn't had to move away from the PT I was seeing. Unfortunately, that brand of therapy is not terribly common. I might look into the inflatable dildo. I didn't even realize such things existed until now.

Thanks again for both of your responses!
02/03/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
In any case, there's such a wide range of toys in varying sizes and shapes available that I'm sure you can find things your body can work with that will be a lot more fun and more comfortable than the dilators. And certainly an inflatable dildo could be an excellent way to go. This site is really good with the reviews and product descriptions so you should be able to get a good idea of the texture of the material and such of what you're looking at before ordering and you can set search parameters for diameter or circumference. (On that note, I'm guessing you mean 4.75" circumference dilator, not diameter, since I'm pretty sure most of us couldn't handle nearly 5" diameter on our best day, let alone with muscle spasms getting in the way!) I don't know anything about the kind of therapy involved in your recovery other than what a brief google search revealed but it seems like maybe a good OB/GYN could refer you to a therapist that would be able to work with you. Short of that, this may seem like an unorthodox way to go, but in your position, I might think about finding a well stocked, reputable sex toy shop that I felt comfortable enough with the store and the staff to ask them about toys they'd recommend. The world of sex toys is pretty infinite so I think you'll be able to find things you can use without much difficulty.
02/04/2012
Contributor: voenne voenne
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I'm going to preface this by saying I am a student, so I am not qualified to make recommendations yet, but I can tell you what my best guess would be. I do have the intensity though, and I'm pretty familiar with how it works.

E-stim ... more
This is exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn't risk buying the Jopen for those reasons.

I was first considering the Jopen Intensity, though I don't have diagnosable vaginismus like you, I all of a sudden developed issues with pain during sex and not being able to feel internal pleasure in my late teens. I'm so sorry to hear that your case is so severe, I can totally sympathize with how frustrating it is not to be able to feel pleasure like you used to be able to. For a long time it caused a lot of emotional pain for me, also...

I wouldn't try anything like the Intensity without asking your doctor first, and like Taylor said, seeing an occupational therapist (I was once referred to one that specializes in pelvic floor health by my obgyn, but I haven't tried it yet).

Just be gentle with yourself! I don't think something like the Intensity will necessarily help heal your problem, you have to do inner work healing just as much as outer (physical) healing.
02/04/2012
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
I believe vaginismus is not the same as developed Kegels leading to better & longer orgasms - YES!!!...anyway, I have Intensity & ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I'ts not a dialator tool, although, the shaft can be inflated for those needing a more fuller feeling. the shaft itself is supposed to be the size of an average penis - gues I haven't seen one of those in a while. I have to really focus on relaxing as I insert the shaft or I do clench up. once inserted, I'm ok. ohhh, & the pleasure - uh!...I'm writing a review for Intensity so watch for it
07/27/2012