20 dating a 40 year old

20 dating a 40 year old

ColorSplash ColorSplash
Is it alright if a 20 year old date a 40 year old? I am 20 years old and the person of interest is 40.. he is not married and has a 7 year old son.. we get along great he even likes me.. But is it okay. I honestly don't care about age..just curious what people think.
03/11/2011
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skeetm skeetm
Quote:
Originally posted by ColorSplash
Is it alright if a 20 year old date a 40 year old? I am 20 years old and the person of interest is 40.. he is not married and has a 7 year old son.. we get along great he even likes me.. But is it okay. I honestly don't care about age..just ...
No one can really speak on whether this will be a good situation except for the people involved. I'm 30 and, as a rule, I said I wouldn't date someone under 25, but then I met a great, intelligent, 24 year old and we've been dating for a year. There are a lot of stereotypes when it comes to age in both directions, and some of them are well earned by a majority of those people, but there are exceptions to every rule. Make sure there is mutual respect and keep asking yourselves if what you are getting is what you really want. If the answer is yes then learn to take the pressure off about it.

At some point, if you stay together, you need to consider that this person will start needing more care in their lives 20 years before you are in the same situation, but if you are still together when that happens then I trust that you will be in love and willing to offer it. In the meantime, just enjoy yourself and give it the best chance you can.
03/12/2011
indiglo indiglo
I totally agree with skeetm. It's impossible to set hard and fast rules about age differences. (Once both people are of legal age, I mean.) My only concern would be what the relationship between you is like. If the older one wants to try to "control" or "parent" the younger one, it might be unhealthy. If the younger one is just looking for a parent figure, or a sugar daddy, that might be unhealthy too. (You also have to consider how your families will feel, and if you're willing and able to take heat from your family if they disapprove.)

I am personally with a man 14 years older than me. It's the happiest both of us have been in a REALLY long time. Very healthy relationship, great communication, great sex, the whole 9. So I would never make a blanket rule about ages.

Best wishes!
03/12/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
My most recent ex was about 25 years older than was I, and it never really presented itself as being an issue on our relationship.


HOWEVER: you really must bear in mind and really think about why someone 20 years older than you WANTS to be with someone 20 years younger than them.
03/12/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I totally agree with skeetm. It's impossible to set hard and fast rules about age differences. (Once both people are of legal age, I mean.) My only concern would be what the relationship between you is like. If the older one wants to try to ...
Well said.
03/13/2011
ID42 ID42
I agree with skeetm as well.

Age differences work and don't work just like any other relationship. When I was 19 I dated a man who was 38. I was in college and he was an engineer with multiple degrees to his name. He was divorced and looking to go out and have a good time and I was looking for someone to take me out and show me a good time. We spent weekends boating with his friends or on trips out of town. Some of his friends are still friends of mine to this day. I think it helped that his kids and his friends and family also accepted me for me and not my age. Well, maybe that's not so much true for the kids... they were tiny and love to play. We had a great time while it lasted and when we decided to stop seeing each other it ended amicably and we spoke often after that until losing touch a few years ago.

I think as long as you two are okay with it and everyone involved (children, family, friends) doesn't constantly or rudely try and make it an issue, more power to you with your relationship...
03/13/2011
UrNaughtyaAngel UrNaughtyaAngel
I never dated anyone older but have in the past year met a few men online that are older then me that has gotten me thinking.

But that being said I am in my 30's and know more about life that I did when I was in my 20's. I personally think that in your 20s a person needs to experience life and not settle in a relationship especially with someone who is so much older.

Each situation is different but if you were my sister/friend I would say yeah go out with him but don't move to fast and settle down with him.

I agree with this statement:
HOWEVER: you really must bear in mind and really think about why someone 20 years older than you WANTS to be with someone 20 years younger than them.

Yes I understand that you get along great and fun with each other but he should know that you as a 20 year old are just starting to live life
03/18/2011
Beck Beck
Im 22 and hubby 41 and he has two kids 20 and 18 i went to school with the 20year old! and hubby went to school with my mom and dad hes the age in between them! lol this is the healthiest relationship ive ever had and i recommend to all my girl friends to date older men! we are very happy and get along great and some may think the man controls things total opposite for us!
07/05/2011
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8