I've personally had only a very bad experience with an older partner. How about you? Have you had any really good or really bad experiences with someone a lot older than you?
Experiences with older partners?
04/15/2012
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This may sound odd - I'm 11 years older than my wife. Even so, I caution young people to be careful when considering dating or partnering with someone more than 5 years older. Motivations are important - some predators look for younger people because they are often easier to manipulate.
Satisfy yourself that their interest in you is not predatory or controlling - then go from there.
Satisfy yourself that their interest in you is not predatory or controlling - then go from there.
04/15/2012
I have always had a thing for older men. My first partner was much older than me, but that was never going to work out because I was a teen and we was not. However, my hubby is 19.75 years older than me, but we have a great relationship.
I have a few female friends and a sister that always complain about the immature guys they meet that are our age. I tell them, they don't know what they are missing with an older partner. Of course this doesn't include all of them, but in general; those who are older have more experience and have a more open mind. But this is just my experience. Not all of them are like this. Sometimes it is an awful relationship that is too controlling.
I have a few female friends and a sister that always complain about the immature guys they meet that are our age. I tell them, they don't know what they are missing with an older partner. Of course this doesn't include all of them, but in general; those who are older have more experience and have a more open mind. But this is just my experience. Not all of them are like this. Sometimes it is an awful relationship that is too controlling.
04/15/2012
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That was exactly what mine was, too. I think you raise a good point, though. I've heard that often women dating men about five years older is a good match because women mature faster than men. Frankly, I dated a thirty-nine year-old who acted like he was fifteen in all the wrong ways. But I've heard sometimes these relationships really work out for the best.
Originally posted by
Beck
I have always had a thing for older men. My first partner was much older than me, but that was never going to work out because I was a teen and we was not. However, my hubby is 19.75 years older than me, but we have a great relationship.
I ... more
I ... more
I have always had a thing for older men. My first partner was much older than me, but that was never going to work out because I was a teen and we was not. However, my hubby is 19.75 years older than me, but we have a great relationship.
I have a few female friends and a sister that always complain about the immature guys they meet that are our age. I tell them, they don't know what they are missing with an older partner. Of course this doesn't include all of them, but in general; those who are older have more experience and have a more open mind. But this is just my experience. Not all of them are like this. Sometimes it is an awful relationship that is too controlling. less
I have a few female friends and a sister that always complain about the immature guys they meet that are our age. I tell them, they don't know what they are missing with an older partner. Of course this doesn't include all of them, but in general; those who are older have more experience and have a more open mind. But this is just my experience. Not all of them are like this. Sometimes it is an awful relationship that is too controlling. less
04/16/2012
It was hit AND miss with me ... my ex-husband was ten years older and never emotionally matured beyond age twelve, and my Master is twelve years older and is wonderfully mature ... (So much of a gentleman, in fact, that he gave me the option to leave without hard feelings when outside circumstances affecting our relationship got out of control for him.)
Around my age, they are either Males or Men. I'm still finding Males my age to be commitment-phobic and immature. The Men my age are neither, but they're Taken ... and are still a much smaller number. It might just be how my generation ended up.
Around my age, they are either Males or Men. I'm still finding Males my age to be commitment-phobic and immature. The Men my age are neither, but they're Taken ... and are still a much smaller number. It might just be how my generation ended up.
04/16/2012
To me, older partners haven't been soooo very much different than partners around my age. Actually, I'd say that more of my older partners have been better matches for me---but that's probably selection bias, because they have to be quite well-suited to me in order for me to overlook the age thing. I don't know, though, I'm attracted to guys with a mature temperament and lots of things to teach me, lots of guys who fit those categories happen to be older than me, but not all.
I don't really think I can draw any conclusions about how older partners have been different from partners my age. We're all just humans
I don't really think I can draw any conclusions about how older partners have been different from partners my age. We're all just humans
04/16/2012
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awesome story- every cloud has a silver lining. i used to be a working girl- a street prostitute in fact.for 5 years i gave a ton of big fat hairy smelly dirty rude men blow jobs (with the exception of a few good guys) Anyway stw's don't generally kiss or let guys go down on them because its too intimate and it makes us too vulnerable so.....i was a bit leery until this older gentleman (at least 65) offered me $60 to use just his thumb on me- i didn't even have to take off my clothes- though it WAS on my bare skin and we had a 10 minute time limit. 5 minutes later I had my first orgasm in years and it was mind blowing!
Originally posted by
SubmissiveFeminist
I've personally had only a very bad experience with an older partner. How about you? Have you had any really good or really bad experiences with someone a lot older than you?
that was when I was 25 and now at 35 I am at my sexual peak and though I'm not into relationships with older men (I stick to 28-45) I'm still okay with enjoying the experience of an experienced gentleman.
04/16/2012
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every one i have ever dated including my wife at the exception of maybe two woman have been older than me by at least 3 or more years. i have always had a thing for older women they are just more on my maturity level.
Originally posted by
SubmissiveFeminist
I've personally had only a very bad experience with an older partner. How about you? Have you had any really good or really bad experiences with someone a lot older than you?
06/05/2012
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I do think that is a good/fair point. I also think how old the younger partner is can make a difference. If the younger partner is barely legal, I think it's especially important to think about that first.
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
This may sound odd - I'm 11 years older than my wife. Even so, I caution young people to be careful when considering dating or partnering with someone more than 5 years older. Motivations are important - some predators look for younger people
...
more
This may sound odd - I'm 11 years older than my wife. Even so, I caution young people to be careful when considering dating or partnering with someone more than 5 years older. Motivations are important - some predators look for younger people because they are often easier to manipulate.
Satisfy yourself that their interest in you is not predatory or controlling - then go from there. less
Satisfy yourself that their interest in you is not predatory or controlling - then go from there. less
Anyway, with that said, my man is 14 years older than me. It's the first time I've ever been in a serious relationship with someone so much older than me. It works just fine for both of us!
I really think you're just as likely to date a controlling older man as you are to date a controlling man in your same age bracket. Some people (men and women) are just controlling and abusive regardless of their age! And it's never healthy to be in that kind of relationship, no matter if there's an age difference or not.
For us, it isn't a problem in the least. We just enjoy each other's company. We have many similar interests, and many different interests. I think we've both learned from each other and have both exposed each other to new things.
People are just people. If your relationship is healthy, age doesn't matter in the least. You may have to occasionally put up with judgmental comments from outsiders - and that isn't fun - but in the end, who cares what other people think! They don't know you or what your relationship is like.
06/05/2012
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..."We're all just humans"...
Originally posted by
Antipova
To me, older partners haven't been soooo very much different than partners around my age. Actually, I'd say that more of my older partners have been better matches for me---but that's probably selection bias, because they have to be
...
more
To me, older partners haven't been soooo very much different than partners around my age. Actually, I'd say that more of my older partners have been better matches for me---but that's probably selection bias, because they have to be quite well-suited to me in order for me to overlook the age thing. I don't know, though, I'm attracted to guys with a mature temperament and lots of things to teach me, lots of guys who fit those categories happen to be older than me, but not all.
I don't really think I can draw any conclusions about how older partners have been different from partners my age. We're all just humans less
I don't really think I can draw any conclusions about how older partners have been different from partners my age. We're all just humans less
Indeed. I totally agree. Each is too individual to lump into some kind of homogeneous group.
06/05/2012
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When you mean "older" how much older?...
Originally posted by
SubmissiveFeminist
I've personally had only a very bad experience with an older partner. How about you? Have you had any really good or really bad experiences with someone a lot older than you?
I dated a man who was 10 years older than me and he acted like he was 13. And I've dated a man 10 years younger than me who acted way more mature than I ever did.
It's about personality.
My beloved is about 13 years older than me and am grateful for the life experiences he's had--he's a great teacher, very patient and loving, but these are personality traits that he's developed over the years. But if he didn't have these personality traits we wouldn't be together.
Ultimately, it's about the person, not the age.
06/11/2012
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 9