Boyfriend is constantly wearing vibrating prostrate massager!

Boyfriend is constantly wearing vibrating prostrate massager!

Schoolgurl33 Schoolgurl33
By constantly I mean most nights and to work even to the kids sports! I can’t take it anymore! He thinks I dont know anything about it or he he just ignores my comments and looks because he wants me to play stupid!
We’ve been together for 5 years I’ve gone out of my comfort zone here and there to make him sexually happy at the very least I need him to be open with me. Thought your mostly supposed to share that kind of stuff. I would literally do anything for this man but this secret stuff is making me sick! My self confidence is at an all time low and it’s very disrespectful to my intelligence, I’m constantly asking him he thinks I’m dumb or not observant, and he of course says no.
I’ve asked him here and there if there is anything he needs to tell me because this is a judgement free zone (after all he’s supposed to be my soul mate)and he acts like I’m randomly accusing him of stuff even though i have it on video of him mess with his toy.
What gets me the most is that we have a 9 month old daughter and I know he’s worn it while being around her. No father should mix the two, and as a victim of childhood sexual abuse I’m always more sensitive to that stuff.

I don’t know what to do anymore and any advice is greatly appreciated!
Jan 13, 10:00 pm
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Mjf4fun Mjf4fun
Quote:
Originally posted by Schoolgurl33
By constantly I mean most nights and to work even to the kids sports! I can’t take it anymore! He thinks I dont know anything about it or he he just ignores my comments and looks because he wants me to play stupid!
We’ve been together for 5 years ...
Curious
Jan 15, 7:33 pm
Smooth69 Smooth69
Wow , I’ve tried some prostate massagers and plugs And only dreamed of leaving it in while with others or in public
That’s just to accessive in my opinion
Jan 18, 3:14 pm
Trysexual Trysexual
Quote:
Originally posted by Schoolgurl33
By constantly I mean most nights and to work even to the kids sports! I can’t take it anymore! He thinks I dont know anything about it or he he just ignores my comments and looks because he wants me to play stupid!
We’ve been together for 5 years ...
You sound bitter about it. Why not approach from a more playful angle. I love my prostate massagers, but don't think I could wear it that often (all day), but to each his own.

I think you may be jumping to conclusions regarding your daughter, unless you left anything out. Wearing a plug in public is mildly stimulating, but it's not like you have a boner constantly, so it doesn't necessarily translate into something sexual.

Sounds like you need to sit down and talk...but maybe do it after some playful sex, rather than making assumptions and confronting him. He's not really doing anything wrong from the sounds of it. Why he doesn't want to admit it (and how you know?) is another story.
Jan 24, 3:25 pm
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by Schoolgurl33
By constantly I mean most nights and to work even to the kids sports! I can’t take it anymore! He thinks I dont know anything about it or he he just ignores my comments and looks because he wants me to play stupid!
We’ve been together for 5 years ...
I really hope you find a solution. I enjoy P spot play also. However I would never do it around my children or guests. To me something taboo about that. Just my opinion of course.

If he's into anal play, perhaps make a deal with him. Offer to give him some type of sex or something in exchange for not wearing it around the kids. Tell him to only do it when he's with you.

Good luck, I hope everything turns out okay.
If you come up with something please let me know. Either on your thread or a pm.
Jan 25, 1:36 pm
Jess.McCleod Jess.McCleod
I think how you bring it up with him is whats going to define the entire conversation - but that conversation definitely needs to happen.

I know you've tried before and it's hit a dead end up sometimes I think being straightforward is really the right path. There are lots of times I try to beat around the bush, subtly bring something up so that the other person still feels like they're in control and not being backed into a corner. But when he's obviously deflecting and refusing to progress the subject then sometimes you have to put the nice girl routine back on the shelf.

Starting it by simply saying, "I want to talk to you about the fact that you're wearing your plug all the time," will tell him exactly what needs to happen. I think its also important to state fairly early that you aren't mad, or upset, or judging. You don't even necessarily want him to stop - you just feel secluded from him and you're worried that gap is getting wider. Make sure, before you get too deep into the conversation, that he knows you simply want to feel like you're a part of this piece of his life (or understand better why he doesn't want you to be).

It could be as simple as embarrassment or that part of what he likes about it is is that its a secret. He could also simply not understand why he likes it so much or maybe it's a lead up to something else that he wants and doesn't know how comfortable he is with letting someone in on that. Just remember that the worst case scenario is not usually reality.

Good luck!
Feb 12, 10:46 am
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6