The New Intimacy

not climaxing

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Contributor: bxitachi bxitachi
Ok heres my story
Im a 25 yr old guy dating a MTF transsexual woman for 6 months, and being that I didnt have sex for over a year inbetween my last relationship and my current one, I had to maintain sanity with masturbation, but only at most three times a week. Thing is, now I can come through intercourse or oral sex. My gf doesnt stress it to me, and we do a fair amount of foreplay throughout the day and right before actual intercourse, but i still cant come unless i do it myself, even then it takes awhile. Dont have a problem getting hard or aroused, in fact it seems im ALWAYS hard.
We alternate using Trojan Ultra pleasure condoms and Magnum Xl condoms and notice no difference and while we both have been tested before and after we started dating, we dont want to not use condoms just yet.

Any advice? As much as I love having the stamina to last 20-30 minutes, I dont want her to feel like shes not doing her part, or feel bad when she gets hers while im stuck turnign on the laptop or dvd player and finishing it myself.
01/11/2010
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Contributor: pyrite65 pyrite65
Quote:
Originally posted by bxitachi
Ok heres my story
Im a 25 yr old guy dating a MTF transsexual woman for 6 months, and being that I didnt have sex for over a year inbetween my last relationship and my current one, I had to maintain sanity with masturbation, but only at most three ... more
Try more calcium in your diet, it worked for me. 1/2 a cup of cottage cheese is all I added to my diet.
01/28/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by bxitachi
Ok heres my story
Im a 25 yr old guy dating a MTF transsexual woman for 6 months, and being that I didnt have sex for over a year inbetween my last relationship and my current one, I had to maintain sanity with masturbation, but only at most three ... more
You are too keyed up, hun you need to relax and slow down. This happened to my lover when we first started having sex. What you need to remember is this isn't a race to the finish, stress this to your lover as well. Share your fantasies if you are able, incorporate some of the things that help you to orgasm solo and just enjoy the ride (so to speak). It will get easier as you begin to relax and share your secret triggers with her. Include her in the process, if she is amenable to a little role play during sex, sometimes hearing your solo fantasies spoken outloud can be so erotic you are swept away. Most of all you just need to relax and let your body re-adjust. Snuggling and low key petting can help as well to take the pressure off. Just remember that the end result is satisfaction with the activity not orgasm.

I recommend trying the previous suggestion as well, a little calcium couldn't hurt! It will also make you feel as though you are doing something concrete to help get you past this little speed bump.

Reassure your lady that it isn't anything she is doing or not doing, and both of you RELAX!
01/31/2010
Contributor: bxitachi bxitachi
Thx both of you for the advice


Did the fantasy sharing (turned out we both have some common fantasies). Tried one, and while I didnt cum during actual intercourse, no woody problems, and wee foreplayed (before and after) and that worked the best, with quite the explosive result.
02/24/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Very nice! Keep going and soon it'll be exactly what you are both looking for, these things take time and patience but can last a lifetime! Good to hear you got to relax a bit and have some fun rather than winding yourself up so tight.
Blessings to you both ~Airen
02/24/2010