Self Defense- Rape

There is actually a student organization on my college campus that teaches efficient self defense. During welcome week, they offered free lessons (regular lessons charge a small fee) about how to fend off an attacker, how to use your body parts and common objects as weapons against your assailant, etc. I wasn't able to go, but I did talk to one of the guys who were advertising the event. He told me that, in most self defense classes, a lot of time is spent training students for unrealistic situations, and those things that would benefit you most immediately are put towards the end of the lessons. In the self defense classes that he was advertising the actual purpose was to learn ways to protect yourself against people who actually want to hurt you, so it doesn't exclude fighting dirty.

I've been pretty busy this year, but next semester, I'm going to look into attending a few classes at the very least... I'd feel much safer knowing how to use my water bottle as a club!

There were a few sessions of my Taekwon-Do class each year that we specifically dealt with what to do if you are attacked. (for both men and women). Although I've never had to use them since, I do feel they can be effective. I've had a few women at my work ask about the self defense that I know and want me to hold a class, but I'm no expert. I may look into finding someone who would be willing to come out though.

I had hubby (who is a police officer) read this forum and he is amazed that we think of something besides sex! I told him we had to think about things like this so we could be around to think about sex!

Seriously, he was impressed with the suggestions and a little concerned that some of us thought they were jokes. He says to do whatever you can to get away and/or get someone else's attention.

I carry pepper spray and a stun gun with me. I travel alone a lot for my job and while at work, can't carry a gun so the stun gun works well for me. Just be sure that you don't put the pepper spray near tissues or napkins and use them yourself. It will/can leak out accidentally and over time. Watch the expiration date on the pepper spray too but it will be good for awhile after it expires.

Hubby says that it is true that the rapist is usually known to the victim but that the victim is not responsible for the rape. If you ever feel uncomfortable in any situation, the best thing to do is get away from it- anyway you can! The suggestion of throwing hot water on someone is great for domestic violence situations which can so often be deadly.

Just our thoughts...

I had pepper spray once. My grandmother got it for me when I started driving alone at 17. I ended up spraying myself in the face and throwing it away. That's the only problem with it. If the wind is going towards you, you might end up with more in your face than his. Oi, the choking, coughing and stinging. Never, ever do that again. DX

I have a rather large folding knife I inherited from my mother. Had it sharpened properly, now it's in a small compartment on my car door. If I'm, say, in Deep Ellum alone at night, I take it with me (opened and lying flat against the back of my forearm, half-hidden against my body) on the walk to/from my car. Things like knives, pepper spray, stun guns are only of use if you actually have them on-hand. If it's in your purse or pocket, you might not have time to get it before you're pinned down. Mine is probably just small enough to be legal here, but as an old-timer would say, "It'll gut ya good." My grandmother's boyfriend called it a frog-sticker, rotfl, whatever that means.

That said, I'm a biter. Someone attacks me, and they will lose pieces of themselves. I pity anyone who tries it with me.

Acquaintance is definitely the most common. I'd expect to be attacked by someone I knew than a stranger. It doesn't have to be a close friend. It can be someone your brother hangs out with, the neighbor down the street, a co-worker. One of my mother's friends tried it when I was really young, and failed miserably. Every girl I've known who was or nearly was raped, said it was by someone they knew in some way.

Screaming and struggling can be just as effective, if only because someone might be close enough to help. A friend of the family was driving in a bad area of Mesquite one night when her tire blew (she swore it was shot out). As soon as she pulled over, several guys dragged her out of her car and were taking her towards an abandoned building. What saved her was a man pulling over and yelling for them to stop. He didn't have a gun and he was only one guy against several, but the attention was enough to make the guys run off.

Adriana has an excellent point- in several states, tasers are illegal to possess, pepper spray also varies state to state and is not necessarily effective. For some people, it simply enrages them and makes them more violent.

I also want to say please do not put your full hopes in self defense training- a lot of predators are people you know, so they know what you are taking and, quite often, how to fend it off. I am not stating these things to frighten you, I am speaking, unfortunately, from experience. Even small men can quite easily overwhelm most women and, at least here, most men seem to be considerably larger than the females, making it no contest when it comes to strength.

The best advice I can give is to be fully aware of your surroundings, FOLLOW YOUR GUT! if you get that feeling tingling in the back of your mind something is not right, LISTEN TO IT!!! if you are wrong, then you are wrong. What's the worst that has happened? You embarrassed yourself? Big deal. It won't be the last time. If you are right, you have prevented a situation that will haunt you for the rest of your life. If you are put in a situation where you are frequently in a dangerous situation, find a gun range. Sign up for the training classes, get over the fear of a gun, let it become a part of you so that you move as one. Break it down and put it back together until you can do it blindfolded without missing a beat. Hone your instincts. For those that are anti gun, I would just like to point out that this is for defending you against someone that has so little disregard as for you as a person, meanwhile you're going 'well... guns kill people.... I knew someone close to me that was shot...' As do I. I have had more than one family member murdered. And by the way, guns don't kill people, people kill people. These bastards I carry a gun for are not innocents. They are the lowest scum of the earth. You're damn right I've got no qualms about setting a piece of lead right between their fucking eyes if someone tried to do that shit to me again, or if I saw them try to do that shit to you or anyone else. If you have never been raped or sexually assaulted, your skills and confidence can prevent it from happening in the first place. If you have been raped or assaulted, you have the true knowledge that it will NEVER. HAPPEN. AGAIN. It's incredible to go from being a victim to being someone that knows that, it's like being reborn in a way.

Anyhow. Sorry about the long spiel. Just my 1.25. I thought about saying 2 cents, but it's a bit more than that!

Hey all, I'm not a woman, but I am a third degree black belt. With a bit of training, it is very possible to take on someone much larger(I'm tiny). If you are going to take martial arts, I would suggest Aikido or Tae Kwon Do/Tang Soo Do as they are some of the more practical disciplines. Aikido is a great style to learn because most the the grabs and technique only require you to have the attacker's wrist or elbow, and require little to no force from there.

Also, to all the people investing in stun guns and pepper spray, make sure that you practice with your weapons. They are very useful weapons, but can be harmful to you if you use them improperly. Pepper spray is very easy to get in your eyes as well, as was mentioned earlier in this thread. Also, coming into contact with someone you are using a stun gun on can transfer the electricity back into you.

I personally carry a folding baton, mainly because there is almost no chance to hurt yourself with it, and it can easily break a hand or collarbone. Taking out an arm or hand can turn the tide of a fight very quickly. This being said, choose the defense option that is right with you and get good with it. The more you practice, the better off you will be.

I'm moving onto a major college campus in the spring, so I love that this topic is up for discussion. I was planning on taking some self defense classes, but now I'm thinking some pepper spray and a stun gun might not be bad things to have on hand.

Also, BrokeNHorny, I agree that practice and being familiar with whatever defense you're relying on would be really helpful.

"Also, to all the people investing in stun guns and pepper spray, make sure that you practice with your weapons. They are very useful weapons, but can be harmful to you if you use them improperly. Pepper spray is very easy to get in your eyes as well, as was mentioned earlier in this thread. Also, coming into contact with someone you are using a stun gun on can transfer the electricity back into you."

This is very true, indeed. They can be useful, but they, just like everything else, do have downfalls, so care must be taken not to incapacitate yourself. Practice is also a good idea with any method you choose, as you stated, BrokeNHorny.

I actually had pepper spray clog and spray all over my hand one time when I tried to test it. Thankfully, it wasn't an emergency but I threw it away after that incident. As for my hand, it took a lot of repeated washing to get the smell/residue off.

They sell nerd cans of sprays for a reason. Practice practice practice. I carry pepper spray with me, less often than I should.

Do what most police, guards, and military do and have someone spray you so that you'll be used to the sensation. Practice fighting while hit so that you'll know what to do.

Do anything you can to fight while yelling constantly and don't give up. Pull hair. Hit in the face and nose. Knees, inner ankles, shins, or even right under the nose by the lip. See if any PPCT (Pressure Point Control Tactic) trainings are taught in your area and go. These are effective if practiced correctly. My husband and I practice on each other, mostly for his job, and I can take him down if I land the hit correctly.

With that said I've always wanted to find a good 5" blade that can be strapped to your forearm, kind of like a throwing knife to take with me when I'm out of town. *shrugs*

Also, make sure you're replacing your sprays regularly as they do expire and can be non effective.

I work at a motel, and sometimes rape/robbery happens in such places. Some of my coworkers have been grabbed by men (usually early morning/late evening), and I also walk home though it's only a 10 minute walk. However, I've gone to taking knifes/boxcutters and hiding them on me. My bosses know and are fine with it knowing how I'm the youngest housekeeper and walk home, especially in the winter time when it gets dark way sooner.

I also did take martial arts before, but it was a college class, nothing really official, and it's been a long while and I'm somewhat out of shape. However I was picked on and beat up by boys a lot in high school, so I can fight my way out of things if need be. (And acting crazy is one of my strong points since I had a legally crazy mother, LOL!)

That and I don't think guys usually go after goth-looking people.... the chains are real and do hurt if you get hit by them, and my bracers are custom made with stainless steel spikes that hurt like a b**** if you get poked by them.

On a side note--- it wouldn't stop a rape, but WOW wouldn't this device be great revenge against an attacker?
link
Millions of razor-sharp barbs right in his...

Bump.

I'm surprised no one's mentioned anything about the most innocuous of objects, a sharp pencil (and, yes, I carry one in my hand when alone - helps with the 'crazy' appearance). My ex-mother-in-law (a Marine) taught me how to incapacitate a man six ways with a pencil. Kinda hard to concentrate on anything when you've got a pencil sticking out of your eye/throat/etc.

I don't know how many times I was tempted to use it on her son.

I took a self defense class and I feel a lot safer now. I'm so glad this post got bumped because I've never seen it before --a lot of these comments are really heartening! Airen's comments were right on. Additionally, I recommend every girl get some pepper spray! It's available at stores that caring hunting gear, called bear mace. Totally legal and totally will fuck your attacker's face up.

When I lived in LA, my roommate went to study at the restaraunt across from the place where they filmed "Carwash". She never made it home. She tried to pepper spray her attack.er. The police found her dead near out apartment steps (odd od 7th near Alvarado, across from the park. She had the pepper spray can down her throat. She was raped and suffocated.

I've accidently sprayed my eyes with pepper spray and it wasn't too bad, I could still function and go to work, I think pepper spray is pretty lame for self defence. Now a sharpened umbrella or a baton is another story. I got attacked and beat the attacker with a baton till her ran.

I was raped when I was 14 by my brothers best friend who was staying at the house. He also tried to suffocate me I then started taking classes to protect myself. I moved to a new city and was 8 months pregnant with my son and it was day time and I walked out of the store and some guy flung me in my car and stole my money I only had $4 left. I didn't fight back I just gave him all my stuff even with classes I couldn't do anything. I got mad at the world and my self. I was not ever again going to let someone possibly take me from my children. I keep taking classes and talking to local high schools about my life. One night my husband was out of town, he got back early and wanted to surprise me. I heard something at the door( he couldn't find the key in the dark) I put my kids in the hall closet shut the door I opened the door for him with a gun(legally registered) right in his face. Once I seen it was him I was so happy I did not have to use it but I know if it was someone else I would have. Now that he has passed I am even more of a fighter. I am all my children have now and I will be damn if I let some scum take me from them with out a fight. I think all people men and women should know some basic skills.

There is also a new anti-rape condom called Rape-Axe.

Has anyone heard of these personal alarms? link

These things are great. There's some crazy statistic about how often self defense weapons get used against the people who are trying to protect themselves with them. It's a shockingly high percentage (I'll try and find the exact numbers).
Anyhow, although classes about self defense are SUPER and EVERYONE should take them, these babies are great.
They're essentially the modern rape whistle. The problem with a rape whistle is that you have to be blowing it for it to work. These alarms are much improved. If you're being attacked, you can pull the little tab out of the alarm and it'll go off. Once you've pulled it out, it won't stop until you've replaced the tab. If you're really being attacked, you can just throw the tab into a bush or something and your attacker won't be able to silence the SUPER loud alarm. It's much more effective than screaming or yelling, and police are trained to respond to the sound of a personal alarm.
It's really very effective, and many attackers will be surprised/scared away by it. It also can't be used against you in anyway like pepper spray or a stun gun can.

Hope this is helpful.

Sort of, USMC bootcamp and a few tours to Iraq with the USMC will teach you how to fight. Bare hands, a boot knife always an depending were I am my friend mr ruger or mr glock might be concealed safely on my waste or ancle.

They actually don't recommend that women carry weapons such as knives because they are so easily overpowered and used against them. I'm definitely all about the personal alarms... they are super loud to help attract attention and deter a rapist. Car keys clenched in the fist with a key sticking out can do some damage to an attacker too.
But over all, the best defense is to not put yourself in dangerous situations if you can help it, stay in well-lit areas, and most of all BE AWARE of your surroundings.

Never yell "RAPE!" or "HELP!" in a violent situation. People won't usually repsond. Yell "FIRE!". If people think there is a fire and their property or person will be damamged, they're more likely to help out.

I've never taken a class but have often wondered how I would react in that kind of situation.
I wouldnt have thought a rapist would worry about pee. Ya can only try.
Very interesting suggestions.
Im very weary of men at the best of times so Im rarely in such a situation.

My mother thought it was important enough to put me in self defense classes when I was 13. I learned the basics of defense, how to identify with my surroundings, screaming loud to be assertive with 'NO!' and the dangers of weapons being used in an attack. I never really believed I'd be attacked for any reason. I was fairly sheltered and not in a position to be overly concerned. I thought maybe someone would attack me for my radio or something stupid and why would you fight over that just buy a new one. My mother didn't seem to feel the need to explain what really goes on between a man and a woman. The only knowledge I had on that front was what passed for sex ed in middle school and that was aimed at reproduction with only hints at actual intercourse. Mom was in the belief it wasn't appropriate for young ladies to even hear of that stuff let alone gain knowledge of it and her being divorced with 5 kids (I was the baby) she spent her life caring for us not worrying about men. Information wasn't accessible like it is today.

I was attacked when I was 14yrs old by a man who came to my front door. I recognized him as a relative of one of my friends. I opened the door thinking she might have been with him and he acted like he didn't realize it was my house happy to see a familiar face in a strange neighborhood. He was a decent looking guy, tall, strong, smiling, engaging and completely non-threatening and I knew somewhat who he was so that made him even less intimidating. He knew from my friend that my mother was in the hospital, my brother wouldn't be home til late and I was completely alone. He would have all the time in the world to do anything he wanted to do. I left him at the door to go get the phone with a long cord (back then we didn't have cordless phones) which was maybe ten feet behind me. When I turned back around he was inside and the door was shut. Telling him to get out was a mote at that point and as odd as I remember thinking it was I still wasn't afraid.

He was calm and completely in control. Without moving he told me exactly what he was going to do and how he expected me to behave. There was no way I could even process everything he was saying let alone get out the door that was behind him. Running and locking myself into another room would have been just as stupid because there was no help coming and I lived far enough away from my neighbors no one would come to any rescue. It would have only delayed the attack and probably piss him off. Only option I had was to run downstairs and get out that door. Hoping I could out distance him and get to safety.

Self defense worked to break the first couple of holds he got on me. Not sure if it was surprise or enjoyment but he simply overpowered me. A 14yr old isn't much against a grown man but I did manage to get away from him. Got half way down the stairs when he pushed me down. Busted my mouth open hitting the floor at the bottom. The shock and pain of it made me slow. He was on top of me then.

I don't think a single thing I was taught in classes even mattered at that point. I became a kicking, screaming, thrashing object. For all my protests it simply excited him. Also made it easier to rip my clothes off. I landed a decent strike to his face and was immediately punished for it. I wasn't out cold but wasn't responsive either. He took off the rest of my clothes then pinned me down. He kept talking to me making sure I was okay before he continued to hurt me. There wasn't much I could do at that point. I hated to give in but it seemed less painful to just let him. I didn't really know what was going to happen. He rewarded me for behaving by not hitting me or holding me down as tight as he was and lots of wet kisses. Got a fast education on how a man can rape a girl with his hand and my virgin blood only served to drive him granted it confused the hell out of me. I certainly didn't remember pain and blood being discussed in sex ed. He was convinced I was just going to stay there and let him have at me. He had that much trust in his dominance and control. That was mainly what it was about. He completely released me to take off his pants. I jumped up knocking him off balance and hit him as hard as I could.

I got half way up the stairs before he recovered, came after me, caught my ankle making me fall and covered me so I couldn't get away. He was mad but he kept his calmness. He told me how bad I was and that I was so pretty he was sorry he had to punish me. He asked me how he should punish me while he was slowly choking me. Guess he didn't expect an answer. Then I just plain got lucky.

My sister-in-law stopped by with some fast food and groceries. My oldest brother sent her to the house to check on me and make sure I was doing my homework and had food. She was upstairs in the kitchen so didn't see or know what was going on and I couldn't scream. He kissed me told me he would be back and exactly what he'd do if I ever breathed a word of it to anyone then he left out the downstairs door.

Wasn't until he had gone and I collected myself that I saw the knife on the step. He never used it or even showed it to me. I guess maybe because he had control over the situation he didn't need it. But when I broke away I guess it pissed him off and he brought it out. Maybe he thought I was too much trouble and he might need it. I don't really know. I kept the knife for years to remind myself what another human being was capable of if they choose to.

He never returned. But then I never reported it either. I managed to hide it from my sister-in-law. Got to my room, cleaned up and dressed before she even came out the kitchen. Told her I tripped on the steps and busted my lip which was true enough and wore a turtle neck to cover my neck that had distinct hand prints from him choking me. My face was swollen and red too but I played that off from the fall. She wasn't all that bright either which seemed like a plus at the time. Never even told a soul about what happened til more then 20 years later.

Guess the point of telling this is that self defense is important but you need to be able to read your attacker as well. Knowing when and when not to fight just to stay alive. I probably should be dead cut up in pieces because there was no way I would have given in and stopped fighting him. And for the love everyone should report any and all attacks. I was stupid but he had done everything else he said why would I have thought he wouldn't have come back. Fear wasn't even the main reason I didn't tell anyone though. Served as a good excuse to myself I think. I was confused in what happened, the pain, how my delusion of home being safe was destroyed all those reasons and a million more kept me from telling anyone. That and simple embarrassment because I didn't understand and couldn't grasp the concept of what or why he did what he did.

Education is the best weapon against attacks. From preventing them to stopping them.