The New Intimacy

Abstinence education?

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Contributor: Booktease Booktease
I was reading this New York Times article today about how abstinence education is being phased out of a lot of public schools in the country. I was curious about what kind of sex ed others had experienced, and whether or not it had any influence on their decision of if and when to lose their virginity. Personally, I live in the midwest/south where we did have abstinence education, and as far as I can tell, it ended up that more people were not informed about how to keep themselves safe and having sex anyway than abstaining altogether. I was lucky enough to have parents who believed in sexual education, even if the local school system was against it, and I got all the way through high school without getting pregnant or contracting an STD.

What was your experience? Did you have abstinence-only education, or sexual safety education? How did that influence when and how you started having sex? And what do you think is the best way to educate our youth about sex?
08/21/2011
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Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
I was reading this New York Times article today about how abstinence education is being phased out of a lot of public schools in the country. I was curious about what kind of sex ed others had experienced, and whether or not it had any influence on ... more
We had comprehensive sex ed when I went to school. That included education on condoms and birth control methods. I think it made me more responsible. I am 31 years old, and I have never had an unplanned pregnancy or STI. This is true for many of my friends who went through the same curriculum as well.

On the other hand, I knew a girl who came from a very religious family. They did not allow her to take any sex ed in school, because they thought it would encourage her to have sex. Well, she had sex anyway and ended up pregnant immediately out of school.

I think anyone who has been following what has been happening with teen pregnancy and STI rates in the time that many schools adopted abstinence only education in order to receive funding under the Bush administration realizes that comprehensive is the way to go.
08/21/2011
Contributor: Booktease Booktease
I wish we had a better sexual education program where I went to school. I think it would have saved a lot of people a lot of hardship.
08/21/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I grew up and went to school at a small Catholic school in the midwest. I not only experienced sex education classes, but I also learned about some of the diseases and how to use condoms. At no point was I specifically taught that sex was only for after marriage or specifically for a man and a woman, although nothing else was really mentioned. In high school my health class covered more of the risks of unsafe sex and saw pictures of some of the diseases, since we were at the age where we might start having to deal with some of them. Or should at least be mentally prepared for the potential to deal with them.

I'm not sure how much of a role my sex education played in my decision to lose my virginity, but I do know that it played a pivotal point in it never really occurring to me to have sex without a condom. Even now that I'm married, we still use condoms, although mostly out of habit and having that extra easy cleanup and the added peace of mind.

I think the best way to educate the youth about sex is to teach them to be safe about it. Some things are best learned by making the mistake and learning from it, like don't stick safety pins in the outlets or don't run around corners; but having to learn to have safe sex because you accidentally got an incurable STD or got pregnant at 15 (in my mind) is not a good way to teach. Arm the youth with knowledge. They can still choose to make their own mistakes but you did everything you could to prevent them.
08/22/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I think abstinence only sex education is about as effective as the D.A.R.E program...if not less...
08/22/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
I had abstinence only sex education in school.

I had scarleteen.com outside of school.

Between the two, I would far and away recommend the second. I went into sex armed with knowledge about sex, sexuality, communication, and safety. How many people don't frightens me.
08/22/2011
Contributor: Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I think abstinence only sex education is about as effective as the D.A.R.E program...if not less...
Hah. Neither of them do anything. I WISH that D.A.R.E. had actually worked.
08/23/2011
Contributor: JessCee JessCee
In Missouri, I had "sex ed" in 5th grade.. which was in 2000.... and this "sex ed" class consisted of the females learning about their menstrual cycle, I'm not really sure what the boys learned because we were obviously separated........ that was IT though.

Then, in Virginia... in 2004 as a freshman in high school, this sort of "sex ed" class was repeated to me except then the females also learned about conception. I asked the instructor something about birth control pills and she informed me that by state law they were not permitted to teach us about any form of contraception. PERIOD. That's all she would say to me no matter what I asked or how I asked it.

1 year later I was taking birth control pills and got pregnant with twins....
08/24/2011
Contributor: cryinglightning86 cryinglightning86
I was raised in the South, and we had abstinence-only sex education. Thankfully, my mother was very willing to give me whatever education I needed in regards to that. When I was ready to become sexually active, she even went with me to Wal-Mart to buy condoms. It's really difficult as a parent to do that sort of thing, I'd imagine, but I really appreciated her support for my sexual health and well-being. In later years, she made sure I was on birth control when I wanted to be, and she was always willing to listen to any sort of problems I had in regards to sex (or anything else, for that matter). I'm so glad I have her as a mother. I don't really want kids, but I hope that I can be as good of a mother to them if I am.

If I had relied only on the education provided by my school system, I wouldn't be in college headed towards a career of my own. I'd most likely already have had children and be struggling economically like many of the girls from around where I live. Either that, or I'd still be terrified of sex and my own body as a result of never being properly educated about it.
07/03/2012