Ever since I've been sexually active, I've always told myself to be careful about STDs and I did all I could to never get one. I would avoid people that I suspected of having anything. In short, for the five years I've been active, I've never got an STD and I thought I was in the clear.

Until this Monday. I had some weird blister like things on my vagina (disgusting right?) and I had a UTI. A lot of my symptoms matched up with herpes but when I went to the dr., he said it looked more like a skin infection than anything else, but he said he wanted to take a swab test to be sure. He called me back on Monday and told me I tested positive for Herpes Simplex 1. I was at work when he called and I all wanted to do was cry. I never had an STD my whole life, and the first one I get is fucking incurable. He put me on some medications to clear up the infection, and to suppress the virus. Since Monday, I've been taking my medicine and a combination of other vitamins to help build my immune system. I feel so much better externally, but internally, I'm a wreck.

Of course, when I found out I had herpes, I did as much research as I possibly could. I found that if I continue to exercise regularly (I exercise about 6 times a week), eat right and take my meds, the rate of transmission to other partners during the time I don't have breakouts is slim to none. I found various symptoms to identify when I'm about to have a break out and what to do when it's about to happen. I found that though it's an uncomfortable disease, I could live with it as long as I keep myself healthy. I would rather not have all together, but since I don't have that option, I found that's it's doable.

The issue I have is not living with the disease, but trying to pursue a relationship with it. A lot of people, like myself, are poorly educated about herpes and would prefer to avoid to be in contact with those infected. I'm in my early twenties now and of course, I still want to date and have sex. Those who live with the disease, how do/ did you bring it up with your partner? How do/ did they typically react? How much harder is dating with herpes?

I know this was lengthy, but since I really don't have anyone to talk to about this, I thought I could put this here. Thanks all less

Ever since I've been sexually active, I've always told myself to be careful about STDs and I did all I could to never get one. I would avoid people that I suspected of having anything. In short, for the five years I've been active, I've never got an STD and I thought I was in the clear.

Until this Monday. I had some weird blister like things on my vagina (disgusting right?) and I had a UTI. A lot of my symptoms matched up with herpes but when I went to the dr., he said it looked more like a skin infection than anything else, but he said he wanted to take a swab test to be sure. He called me back on Monday and told me I tested positive for Herpes Simplex 1. I was at work when he called and I all wanted to do was cry. I never had an STD my whole life, and the first one I get is fucking incurable. He put me on some medications to clear up the infection, and to suppress the virus. Since Monday, I've been taking my medicine and a combination of other vitamins to help build my immune system. I feel so much better externally, but internally, I'm a wreck.

Of course, when I found out I had herpes, I did as much research as I possibly could. I found that if I continue to exercise regularly (I exercise about 6 times a week), eat right and take my meds, the rate of transmission to other partners during the time I don't have breakouts is slim to none. I found various symptoms to identify when I'm about to have a break out and what to do when it's about to happen. I found that though it's an uncomfortable disease, I could live with it as long as I keep myself healthy. I would rather not have all together, but since I don't have that option, I found that's it's doable.

The issue I have is not living with the disease, but trying to pursue a relationship with it. A lot of people, like myself, are poorly educated about herpes and would prefer to avoid to be in contact with those infected. I'm in my early twenties now and of course, I still want to date and have sex. Those who live with the disease, how do/ did you bring it up with your partner? How do/ did they typically react? How much harder is dating with herpes?

I know this was lengthy, but since I really don't have anyone to talk to about this, I thought I could put this here. Thanks all less

Ms. Spice, thanks for sharing. I know firsthand that this kind of thing can be rough to talk about.

When I found out I had genital herpes, I thought my dating life was over. I definitely did a lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself. What I found, though, was that despite the stigma still associated with the disease, people were still interested in me. Guys who had been pursuing me before were still after me even after I told them. They realized that it really isn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, and that was exactly what I'd needed to hear at that time. My self-esteem started making a recovery.

I didn't do a lot of dating for the first 6 months, but I eventually met a guy and we started going out. We had some cuddly sleepovers, but obviously no genital contact. I told him about the herp a few weeks into our dating, while cuddling in bed one night. It was terrifying. He was thoughtful and quiet for a bit, just asking questions and listening to me. After I left he did some research online and talked to a few close friends, and the next day told me that he didn't care, he absolutely still wanted to be seeing me. That was over a year ago, and we're still together now. It's great, and it was so much easier than I'd imagined it would be.

My main advice is to just get to know guys before disclosing to them. You want them to see you for the awesome person you are, not just label you as an STD carrier. In my experience, most people are open-minded about the whole thing. There definitely are people out there who will be too afraid to contract herpes from you to become involved, but if you're dating decent guys you will almost certainly find many more who know that you're worth the risk. It's awesome that you're taking care of yourself and minimizing that risks, and guys have a lower chance than girls for contracting herpes anyhow. Go slow, be cautious with your heart, and don't put too much pressure on yourself or others. less

Yes, you definitely shouldn't tell someone right off the bat. It's something personal, important, and delicate and those who you trust have the right to know if you feel they have the right. And if a guy wont stick around because of it, then he isn't worth your time anyway! You're better than that! An STD cannot define you. less

Thanks for sharing, everyone who shared and Ms. Spice for stepping up and starting the topic.

I don't have herpes or any other STD, but I've had my scares. I don't think telling someone early in the relationship is a great idea either, but it's definitely something to bring up before any naughty bit sharing.

With the percentages this high in the population, I wonder if Herpes is going to be one of those viruses/diseases that make their way into our DNA. There are theories that some diseases/viruses influenced human evolution...interestin g stuff. less

i feel kind of flattered that you've approved of my topic lol but it is something that I think everyone should have some kind of advice on. and that would be interesting, about 1 in 5 people in this country have genital herpes (a lot obviously is not diagnosed) and about 50- 90% of people have oral herpes.

i wouldn't be surprised if it did make some impact into our DNA, just because of how much it affects not only the US's population but the world's as well. i just wish research for a cure could step it up a little bit. scientists have cured it in animals but we have a way to go before people can be cured. i'm just glad treatment is just so advanced and can do so much for those who are infected and their partners less

Thanks for sharing. I have a few friends with Herpes and they do have sexual partners. My friend has it and as long as she doesn't have a breakout she has a very active sex life with her partner. They even just got pregnant. She'll have to have a c-section to prevent spreading to the baby, but you can still have a very active sex life. less

i feel kind of flattered that you've approved of my topic lol but it is something that I think everyone should have some kind of advice on. and that would be interesting, about 1 in 5 people in this country have genital herpes (a lot obviously is not diagnosed) and about 50- 90% of people have oral herpes.

i wouldn't be surprised if it did make some impact into our DNA, just because of how much it affects not only the US's population but the world's as well. i just wish research for a cure could step it up a little bit. scientists have cured it in animals but we have a way to go before people can be cured. i'm just glad treatment is just so advanced and can do so much for those who are infected and their partners less

yeah! maybe sometime in the future, our bodies will be infected with genital herpes once and then it will stop making an appearance (though it does kind of do that already, it just takes a little bit longer for outbreaks to appear and the intensity does go down a bit...) gotta love science lol less