My family took in two cousins, one is almost 11, the other is 10. Their mother is a real piece of work, and their father hasn't addressed these topics with them either. These children have been neglected in several ways for a long time. (short version there)

The older one has her period, and all her mother did was toss her like 5 pads, and told her that'd be enough for several months, never gave her any instructions. So when she got here she'd be wearing a pad for 24+ hours.

She's also already been taking inappropriate pictures/videos of herself before she was even here.. and had sent them out. That's already being taken care of, both phone/laptop are in custody of the police. With all the neglect and emotional abuse put on them, she's prime bait for some pedo.. it hasn't went any further. She does understand that what she did was wrong.. but none of my family shamed her for it. I'd say that's been handled properly. However she's still too interested in sex too early in my opinion.

The other one isn't as much, but that day is coming soon I believe.

Their hygiene is extremely poor, don't wear deodorant unless forced, don't shower often enough, smelling foul odors off both of them.

My dad is really open, but he realizes they may not feel comfortable with them as he is a man.

My mother, while a physician's assistant is married to her work, and she doesn't see them enough, and when my father and I have told her that it should be her that gives the hygiene and birds/bees talk, as she is the doctor and mother figure.. she just keeps slacking off on it.

So it's left to me. I'm 26, and I know about all about hygiene and sexual matters.. I'm just at a loss as to how best to best convey everything to them as needed. They really don't listen well to anyone, no matter the topic.

So, I'd just like thoughts as to suggestions as to how to go about it in the best way, or multiple ways. Perhaps you have your own kids or taught your siblings? I know they need to know everything hygiene of course.. but unsure as to how in-depth/how far I should be explaining puberty and basic sexual things.

Your thoughts are much appreciated, thank you! less

I am not sure about the how to handle the hygiene issue, but my mother got a video for me when I was that age. It came in a kit with some pads, some deoderant, and a couple other things. She watched it with me and addressed any questions I had, and then we talked about it after.

More importantly, because they are so young and the one seems to be interested in sex and sending pictures, I would be worried about some kind of sexual abuse going on at home.

A quick look on amazon got me this: link
And this: link

The first one has a DVD, the second one has a couple additional accessories and a short book. The first one looks like the more useful of the two. As far as hygiene, explaining to them won't be enough, if they're reluctant to use it. You may want to schedule a bath time for them to bathe each night and make sure they're putting on deodorant and brushing their teeth in the morning.

Last, if the school system in your area doesn't have adequate sex education, and they are already engaging in dangerous behavior, you'll want to go over STDs, contraception, and saying no. With that last part, I don't mean abstinence. I mean how to handle an unwanted advance. I found this, but I don't know how helpful it would be. link and this one, which can be rented through Amazon instant video link and somehow I missed this one... link, but the reviews are meh.

Good luck. less

My family took in two cousins, one is almost 11, the other is 10. Their mother is a real piece of work, and their father hasn't addressed these topics with them either. These children have been neglected in several ways for a long time. (short version there)

The older one has her period, and all her mother did was toss her like 5 pads, and told her that'd be enough for several months, never gave her any instructions. So when she got here she'd be wearing a pad for 24+ hours.

She's also already been taking inappropriate pictures/videos of herself before she was even here.. and had sent them out. That's already being taken care of, both phone/laptop are in custody of the police. With all the neglect and emotional abuse put on them, she's prime bait for some pedo.. it hasn't went any further. She does understand that what she did was wrong.. but none of my family shamed her for it. I'd say that's been handled properly. However she's still too interested in sex too early in my opinion.

The other one isn't as much, but that day is coming soon I believe.

Their hygiene is extremely poor, don't wear deodorant unless forced, don't shower often enough, smelling foul odors off both of them.

My dad is really open, but he realizes they may not feel comfortable with them as he is a man.

My mother, while a physician's assistant is married to her work, and she doesn't see them enough, and when my father and I have told her that it should be her that gives the hygiene and birds/bees talk, as she is the doctor and mother figure.. she just keeps slacking off on it.

So it's left to me. I'm 26, and I know about all about hygiene and sexual matters.. I'm just at a loss as to how best to best convey everything to them as needed. They really don't listen well to anyone, no matter the topic.

So, I'd just like thoughts as to suggestions as to how to go about it in the best way, or multiple ways. Perhaps you have your own kids or taught your siblings? I know they need to know everything hygiene of course.. but unsure as to how in-depth/how far I should be explaining puberty and basic sexual things.

Your thoughts are much appreciated, thank you! less

For the Hygiene issue I would just ask, "Do you get made fun at school because you smell?" And if they answer yes. Say, "Well, that can change with regular showers, deodorant, changing your pads regularly, and so on." I would do this separately especially if they are not the same sex.

Cover that changing the pad is very important to her vaginal health. Also you will want to mention tampons, since she might be handed one in school. If she leaves pads on for 24 hours she might think it's okay to use tampons that long as well. Which we all know is not a good idea.

If the younger one is female they should be explained that they will be going through a change soon before it happens. (Her period!) Because 10 is close to the age range. If the younger one is male he should be talked to about male changes with the body. In fact a trip to the Pediatrician for some basic information might be handy, or you can print out information from online about puberty. This would be handy for both of them.

The one with her period should be taken to a female clinic. There you can get all kinds information. She can have one on one time with a Dr instead of just with you. She needs the whole birds and the bees conversation because if she is sending out sexual images and she has sexual feelings she needs to be educated. While you feel she is far too young she feels like she is a women inside. She needs to be taught about STD's and pregnancy. She needs to know how to have sex safely. Just in case. However, once you've talked to the older one about it; it will only be a matter of time before the other one knows as well. They are roughly the same age. (It's like telling the older one that Santa isn't real. It's only a matter of time before the other knows.) They are both going to end up needing this conversation. Tell the older one to not tell the younger one until you can find the time to do it.

Planned Parenthood has very useful information about STD's and pregnancy. Kids Health covers puberty.

I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Hopefully you can help them out. less

My family took in two cousins, one is almost 11, the other is 10. Their mother is a real piece of work, and their father hasn't addressed these topics with them either. These children have been neglected in several ways for a long time. (short version there)

The older one has her period, and all her mother did was toss her like 5 pads, and told her that'd be enough for several months, never gave her any instructions. So when she got here she'd be wearing a pad for 24+ hours.

She's also already been taking inappropriate pictures/videos of herself before she was even here.. and had sent them out. That's already being taken care of, both phone/laptop are in custody of the police. With all the neglect and emotional abuse put on them, she's prime bait for some pedo.. it hasn't went any further. She does understand that what she did was wrong.. but none of my family shamed her for it. I'd say that's been handled properly. However she's still too interested in sex too early in my opinion.

The other one isn't as much, but that day is coming soon I believe.

Their hygiene is extremely poor, don't wear deodorant unless forced, don't shower often enough, smelling foul odors off both of them.

My dad is really open, but he realizes they may not feel comfortable with them as he is a man.

My mother, while a physician's assistant is married to her work, and she doesn't see them enough, and when my father and I have told her that it should be her that gives the hygiene and birds/bees talk, as she is the doctor and mother figure.. she just keeps slacking off on it.

So it's left to me. I'm 26, and I know about all about hygiene and sexual matters.. I'm just at a loss as to how best to best convey everything to them as needed. They really don't listen well to anyone, no matter the topic.

So, I'd just like thoughts as to suggestions as to how to go about it in the best way, or multiple ways. Perhaps you have your own kids or taught your siblings? I know they need to know everything hygiene of course.. but unsure as to how in-depth/how far I should be explaining puberty and basic sexual things.

Your thoughts are much appreciated, thank you! less