Lack of passion in the bedroom?

Hello all. I need some advice here. There was a night where my husband and I had crazy good sex. It's once in a blue moon where it's absolutely mind blowing. Not all the time, sadly . After that night, my sex drive totally plummeted. I'm finding a lack of passion on my side after that night. He performed oral on me before we had sex and I wasn't too fulfilled during sex. I've never had an orgasm during sex with any of my partners. My husband has no issue having an orgasm during sex. He knows how I like it and doesn't really seem inclined to really have the passion to do it. Sometimes sex is just so dull that I don't even bother with it. I showed him a picture from one of my Facebook groups of a guy really giving it to his woman by pulling her hair and he told me that it was mean. He really said it was mean! The exact way I like having sex! He never tells me what he wants to do to me and when I ask him he says it doesn't matter. I was his first but we've been having sex for a little over 3 years. We've been married for almost 2. We always joke that he or I don't want to touch the other because we don't like it. It really is a joke between us.
I apologize if I'm rambling but this has been sitting in my head for too long. He attempts to choke me a little bit during sex but he's always having to stop and readjust or something like that so it totally kills the moment for that bit.

Anybody have any ideas? I'm a faithful women but I won't lie that my thoughts have strayed to finding another partner for sex before. I would never but you know how they say that you always want greener pastures.