Masturbation Issue

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Masturbation Issue

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Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I have difficulty masturbating to completion with or without toys. I am in my late 30's, my husband and I have a VERY active sex life and I, 99% of the time, have an orgasm if not several when he plays with me or when we have sex. I am perplexed as to why I can not get off by myself. This is a fairly new problem, something that I have noticed within the last 5 years or so.

Has anyone else ever run across this issue? If so, what do you do or how do you handle it?
12/07/2010
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Contributor: firekitten firekitten
Sometimes when I'm going solo I have a much harder time. And when I am able to, I'm usually only good for one orgasm. I don't really have much problem with it though, if I'm not in the mood I'm not and that's ok.

I've also noticed it changes depending on what part of my cycle I'm in.
12/07/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I have difficulty masturbating to completion with or without toys. I am in my late 30's, my husband and I have a VERY active sex life and I, 99% of the time, have an orgasm if not several when he plays with me or when we have sex. I am perplexed ... more
It could be a bit of changing hormonal levels or simply fatigue if you are trying to masturbate late at night. Try setting the mood, light some candles, watch something sexy and go slow.
12/07/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Given the fact that you can achieve orgasm under certain circumstances, it seems like this is less a physical problem and more likely a mental block.

Sometimes when you are having sex with another person, focusing on the task at hand is easier because you are interacting with another person. Masturbation can sometimes be challenging if you have other things on your mind and simply do not focus on what you are doing. It's easy to suddenly find yourself planning the weekly menu or worrying about paying the bills if the stress of life is particularly high.

I agree with Airen that setting the mood and perhaps watching a video or reading an erotic book might help your brain get on the same page as your body.
12/08/2010
Contributor: Mistress Kitty Mistress Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I have difficulty masturbating to completion with or without toys. I am in my late 30's, my husband and I have a VERY active sex life and I, 99% of the time, have an orgasm if not several when he plays with me or when we have sex. I am perplexed ... more
I have the same problem. When my husband wasn't able to live with me we would end up having phone sex until he got off, but I never could. The only time I can ever orgasm by myself is if I'm doing it for him and he is with me.
12/13/2010
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress Kitty
I have the same problem. When my husband wasn't able to live with me we would end up having phone sex until he got off, but I never could. The only time I can ever orgasm by myself is if I'm doing it for him and he is with me.
Well, it's good to know I am not alone in this world with this issue. Thanks!
01/02/2011
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
I discovered that when I use the television as cover-noise, instead of music, I get distracted and spoil my good time. That's probably not an issue if you're with a partner.
01/02/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Noise or no noise it doesn't make a lick of difference for me, nothing comes of it. LOL (pun intended) Good Lord I need sleep.

Thanks for the comments everyone.
01/02/2011
Contributor: Zaftig Zaftig
I have noticed that unless I get myself really worked up first with either erotica or porn, I just don't even bother! Definitely have to have something to kick start it. Partners are always a plus but if not then find something that will really jump-start it then try solo?
01/02/2011