Sex During Pregnancy

Sex During Pregnancy

Wise Young Mommy Wise Young Mommy
I loved this article on sex during pregnancy and I am curious how other women deal with the feelings of being unattractive and un-sexy while with child. I know my biggest hurdle was that I was viewing my body as a vessel for my baby and not for sex. Opinions or experiences anyone wants to share?
03/16/2009
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Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Wise Young Mommy
I loved this article on sex during pregnancy and I am curious how other women deal with the feelings of being unattractive and un-sexy while with child. I know my biggest hurdle was that I was viewing my body as a vessel for my baby and not for sex. ...
It's hard, especially for the few that get repeated vaginal infections. I know when I was pregnant with my son, my paps showed positive for bacterial vaginosis twice. How do you feel sexy when not only you've gained weight, can no longer roll over unassisted, and smell?

You just have to bite the bullet, especially when your body is rearing to go. My hormones were all over the place- left, right, up, down. I never knew what I wanted and my moods weren't consistent. I slept all the time and I cried every single day. It's not so much my feelings that were the problem- it was his. How did he get through it? How did he still want me? How could he look at my blossoming stomach and still want to pin me up against the wall and rail me? I've asked him and he comes back with the same response- you were beautiful, I loved you, and I wanted you. It makes me wonder if he had a thing for pregnant chicks, .

But your body is yours, no matter if you're pregnant. If you want sex you can't deny yourself UNLESS your doctor specifically tells you no. I lost amniotic fluid in my 7th month and was put on bedrest. I couldn't walk around and I couldn't have sex. It felt like a death sentence because we were having it all the time- I even went to Fredericks online and bought flyaway babydolls. I was explicitly told no sex as my pregnancy got harder and things got a little worse week by week. When I was 35 weeks I couldn't wait anymore so we had sex.. and roughly 15 hours later my son was born.

The time where we couldn't have sex I brushed up on my handjob skills and learned that I'm quite good. Unfortunately, my husband begs for them at least every week now and I gave birth well over 4 years ago.

What concerns me more than how women feel WHEN they're pregnant is when they CAN'T get pregnant. I've dealt with far more insecurity being infertile than when I was carrying my son.
03/16/2009
Anica Anica
During my 2nd trimester, I felt totally sexy! I felt alive, important (in a 'i'm creating a life what are you doing' sort of way), and was constantly horny...

I got very ill during my 3rd trimester, so I wasn't too into sex during that time. For me, it was never that I felt unsexy, I think being pregnant is....unique and is all things woman! Sure...it was a little weird to be on top with a big ol' belly, but that's why there are a lot of positions!

I do like Sleeping Dreamers point about the insecurity in her last paragraph. Been trying for almost a year and a half...and I've suddenly started feeling fat, ugly, gross, and thinking that he wants nothing to do with me...and these are all just thoughts in my head. He's given no inclination that is true, I just feel really insecure at this point. Ho hum!
03/16/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I have two (older) female friends who are pregnant right now--one is in her ninth month and due any time now! They're both as sexy as they were before they became pregnant, if not more so. I'm still pretty young and don't plan on having children for a while-- have to work out the other things in life first!

I've been wondering more and more often what the sex lives of pregnant women are like. I'm bewildered that pregnant women can still be horny as hell (naive of me, I know). My mother has always looked terrible when she's pregnant--always nauseous, doesn't seem to want to do much of anything, and I can NOT imagine her wanting sex while she's staggering around the house. Then again, I can never imagine my mother sharing the same universe as sex, so that's just probably a psychological block on my part

I was hoping you wonderful ladies could give me some insight--some words of wisdom for when I finally am ready to have children. What's it like? What are the mood swings like? How do guys typically deal with it? Is sex different? How so? Are some things harder to do?
03/16/2009
Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
I have two (older) female friends who are pregnant right now--one is in her ninth month and due any time now! They're both as sexy as they were before they became pregnant, if not more so. I'm still pretty young and don't plan on having ...
I was constantly nauseous- like I was riding on an elevator up and down all day. I was gassy too and the gas pains would hurt- the best remedy is to lay on your back and roll (if you can't roll, have your partner move you) side to side until you basically fart the gas out. Doesn't that sound beautiful?

I was MOODY, up and down- I was basically Sybil for 7 months. Any little thing would set me off and the tears would come. I never got mean though and I've heard a lot of pregnant women can have fits of rage. I was just a big sobby mess.

Sex is different. It was a lot wetter and I couldn't it feel it quite as well unless he was banging into my cervix. I managed to have bacterial vaginosis twice during my pregnancy and it is terrible. It stinks and just makes things quite uncomfortable. In my friend's pregnancy she got so wet that she had to wear overnight pads, and we're not talking the turned on kind of wetness... Oh, panty liners are a must towards the end- if I sneezed, coughed, hiccuped, etc- I would pee my pants. I kid you not.


I couldn't shave my legs- my husband had to do it for me. Thank goodness I had a handicapped equipped shower else I never would have been able to wash my hair! lol. Trying to bend over would throw me off kilter, I fell over my fair share. I had swollen ankles and feet, I had to constantly wear flip flops because I didn't want to stretch out my shoes. Your shoe size CAN increase with pregnancy- I went from an 8.5 to a 9.5.

Make sure you exercise, it will set the tone of your entire pregnancy. The stronger your body, the better of a delivery you'll have. Walking is KEY and you definitely want to do your kegels before and after giving birth. My son destroyed my muscle tone when he came out, it was brutal.

Somedays I loved it. Absolutely loved it. I'll tell you though, it wasn't the days he decided to kick or have the hiccups. The hiccups were the absolute worst because they had this ripple effect throughout my entire body. He'd move around quite a bit at the end so sleeping became difficult. However, I bought this great pillow at Babies R Us. It was a J shape and it would put a barrier between my husband and I- I took up like 3/4 of the bed and poor him would get this tiny sliver of space.

All guys handle pregnancy differently, it depends on their demeanor and how well they cope with the idea of becoming a parent. Hubby went through the shock, the joy, and the "oh shit! my life is going to be different forever".

I'll post more tomorrow, bed is calling my name.
03/17/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
I was constantly nauseous- like I was riding on an elevator up and down all day. I was gassy too and the gas pains would hurt- the best remedy is to lay on your back and roll (if you can't roll, have your partner move you) side to side until you ...
Okay, I'm curious.. Why was hair washing an issue?
03/17/2009
Anica Anica
One thing that changed for me was my gag reflex...I could not give my husband a BJ to save my life (or brush my teeth for that matter)! That lasted awhile too, well after my son was born.

1st trimester I was very nauseated and tired. Sex wasn't much different though. I didn't have the mood swings though. It was an easy pregnancy until I reached the 34th week. Baby stayed still during most of the romping time.

The thing that changed the most for us was sex AFTER the baby.

-Even though my midwife "gave me an extra stitch for my husband" I still felt...not as tight as before. Kegals didn't seem to help much.

-It took longer for me to climax after the baby.

-I didn't want sex after the baby. I was given the okay at 4 weeks, but waited the full 6 weeks because I just wasn't into it. And after that, it was another 4 weeks or so...

-My son is now 2 and it's almost to the point of scheduling time in. My son goes to bed at 8:30, I try to be in bed by 9 so I can be up at 4:30 to hit the gym and then to work. I rarely see my husband it feels like. But, we're trying to make more of a point.

Every person and every pregnancy is different though. If the baby is being carried high (like I was) I would expect that it wouldn't change much, a low carry maybe it would...

So there are some insights I can think of. If anything else springs to mind, I'll add!
03/17/2009
Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Okay, I'm curious.. Why was hair washing an issue?
Swollen feet plus gestational diabetes and uneven weight distribution= the potential to fall over. I fell over a LOT in the shower before we moved into our new place whether from low blood sugars or because I couldn't keep my balance- handicapped bars in a shower+ a seat= genius!
03/18/2009
Nashville Nashville
Also, as far as AFTER the baby goes. If you have postpartum depression it's so important to have it treated. I was really.... scratch that.... incredibly depressed and I stayed that way until I found a psychiatrist willing to try the right medication combo to help my chemical hormones get back in check.

As far as infertility, I find it far worse on my emotions and self-esteem than a changing body during pregnancy. SO MANY women deal with infertility yet it's hard to find friends to open up about it. I tried with one friend but she tried to make it a competition- I'd talk about how it's been over 2 years and she'd one up me by saying they're going on 3 years. I love you, I'm here for you, but seriously- there isn't a prize to be won for the length of time you haven't been able to conceive.

I have 2 and 1/2 years of experience from trying to get pregnant. You name the "old wives tale" and I've tried it. Want some advice on how to stay sane? I can help a little. I'm a resource so if anyone wants to take advantage of that or just vent or cry to me please do because I'm always here.
03/18/2009
married and adding spice married and adding spice
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Okay, I'm curious.. Why was hair washing an issue?
I am pregnant with our second baby and my issue is the increased amount of blood. Flipping my head to dry my hair or lifting my hands up makes my blood pressure spike.
03/29/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
Swollen feet plus gestational diabetes and uneven weight distribution= the potential to fall over. I fell over a LOT in the shower before we moved into our new place whether from low blood sugars or because I couldn't keep my balance- handicapped ...
Ah! I hadn't thought of that.
03/29/2009
smurfy smurfy
I actually never had to much problem feeling unsexy while pregnant. My husband constantly made me feel beautiful and more attractive than ever and I think we had more of a healthy sex life while I was pregnant than before I got pregnant. It seemed to be more passionate instead of just attacking eachother with lust.
03/30/2009
Goodkittygnbad Goodkittygnbad
We recently had our first child, and I can say when I first starting showing, I felt so unattractive. We tried having sex once during this time which caused me to spot slightly. I freaked out and didn't even want to try again until near or in my third trimester. By this point, baby was moving a LOT and that freaked out my husband. He was afraid he could 'poke' the baby or that he would be uncomfortable if we were having sex and he could feel the baby move.

After baby arrived it took me a while to recover. I had a 9lb 7oz naturally so needless to say things were a little...off. It's been 7 months now since baby was born. Between learning parenting stuff, working full time, husband having two jobs, and being completely exhausted...I'm ashamed to say we don't have much of a sex life right now. Maybe once or twice a month? When we do, it's great. Husband says he can tell I've had a child, but that it's not in a bad way. (I was a bit too small for him before baby arrived) He does tell me though, that he finds me even more attractive now (with baby weight and all) because I have 'that mommy look'.... If someone could explain that to me, I'd be greatly appreciative.

All in all, we had a role reversal before, during, and after baby. Quite strange, but fulfilling none the less. (Though sex more than twice a month would be lovely!) And, sorry to ramble.
03/30/2009
ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
I've never been pregnant, and I'm not trying to yet. I still have plenty of time for that, and I'm just a bit too self-centered to take care of a baby at this point. But my husband is pretty much all for it. Basically, he just wants me to be pregnant. He has a big pregnancy fetish. He just thinks it's pretty much the sexiest thing ever and can't wait to see me like that. If he looks at porn, it's just about always hentai with pregnant characters. He's even gone to the point of having me stuff something under my shirt during sex to make me look pregnant. Hehe. It's really going to suck if when I do get pregnant, I want nothing to do with for nine months.
03/30/2009
hornymommy hornymommy
I didn't feel very sexy, but my boyfriend was very sweet to me.
He told me every day how much he loved all the changes my body was going through, which helped a lot..
For me to know that he was still attracted to me allowed for some good sex
11/19/2009
ArmyWife Kira ArmyWife Kira
When I was pregnant with my 2nd child (my husband's 1st) my husband was deployed in Afghanistan. He came home just in time for the birth. I had to be induced due to the time restrictions of his leave. Anyway, he still found me very attractive and I felt attractive even in my 38th week. Now as far as feeling sexy, no I didn't feel sexy. My husband has never flat out said, "I thought you were hot pregnant" but he drops little clues. Like, "Remember the time we had sex when you were pregnant? etc etc etc" We were trying to induce labor by having, as my doctor called it, "vigorous" sex. It helped, I didn't go into labor but I was contracting a long time which made my labor only last about 3 hours after they started me on the IV. The weirdest thing happened after my son was born. I am sure it's because I had been seperated from my husband for so long but I gave him multiple blow jobs. I was REALLY horny. It was weird considering I had just given birth days earlier. My husband still goes on about those blow jobs...he says they are the best he's ever had. lol!
11/19/2009
Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by ArmyWife Kira
When I was pregnant with my 2nd child (my husband's 1st) my husband was deployed in Afghanistan. He came home just in time for the birth. I had to be induced due to the time restrictions of his leave. Anyway, he still found me very attractive and ...
I was horny after birth too! My mother told me not to have my husband in the room when I gave birth because he wouldn't look at me the same again. He was there, he saw everything, yet a week after I gave birth we were all over each other. We were both so horny (myself especially) that we tried at 2 weeks post-delivery to try to have sex. Due to the stitches from my episiotomy it just wasn't feasible. It was the worst searing burn I've ever felt. However, at 4 weeks we tried again and the sex was PHENOMENAL, the best sex of our entire marriage. Unfortunately, 2 weeks after that at my 6 week check up I decided to get the IUD and since then (5 years ago) sex has been horrible due to complications from it.
11/20/2009
Cinnamon Cinnamon
Some of the mosst interesting and amazing sex was when I pregnant! My ex was totally into pregnant chicks, and lactating ones too! I felt way more sexy when I was prego than when I weighed 90lbs. I don't know why, and it bothers me a lot now, but it's just the way it is.
11/20/2009
AndromedaJane AndromedaJane
Quote:
Originally posted by Wise Young Mommy
I loved this article on sex during pregnancy and I am curious how other women deal with the feelings of being unattractive and un-sexy while with child. I know my biggest hurdle was that I was viewing my body as a vessel for my baby and not for sex. ...
Lingerie helps. Flyaway style babydolls work well.
11/06/2012
Ayogirl230 Ayogirl230
i just found out i'm pregnant and am about 5 weeks in (not far at all i know) but i have been so horny and feel hornier and more attractive.
03/06/2013
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Ayogirl230
i just found out i'm pregnant and am about 5 weeks in (not far at all i know) but i have been so horny and feel hornier and more attractive.
Congratulations!

In answer to the OP, I am about four months pregnant and my desire for sex is a lot less than before. Where I used to want it daily, I find myself losing the motivation for weeks at a time. It isn't because I feel unattractive-my husband does everything he can to make me feel beautiful. I guess it must be hormonal. Other women seem to have the opposite reaction so I guess it's individual.
03/08/2013
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 15