Good luck! Hopefully they'll tell you it will even out soon or that there's a simple fix!

Well, I haven't had this happen where I can't climax no matter what I do but I have had times that I've found it harder in certain ways..usually from either oral or from sex, like me on top. I'll find I can get so close and then...nothing. Or I'll just sit at that plateau and not be able to get further and man is that frustrating! Sometimes I find that it's my breathing that holds me back and I need to kind of hold my breath a bit and tense myself up. I don't know the technical aspects of it but it seems to push blood flow and allows me to climax easier/quicker.

Have you tried any kind of stimulating gel or lubricant? I've never personally tried one yet so I don't know if they work or not but I hear good things about them.

Good luck and I hope you get it figured out, congrats on your weight loss though!

Jenn, congrats on losing the weight, but I understand what you are going through id the orgasm issue and hormones.

Body fat has a lot of circulating estrogen in it. When a woman loses a lot of body fat, the amount of estrogen in her system can definitely fall. Also, if your diet is limited (due to the bypass) the amount of added fat in your diet will be small and any estrogen your body IS making may not stick around. Estrogen is often necessary for a woman to have regular orgasms.

My issue is similar. I went into peri-menopause a few year ago. The hot flashes I can tolerate, the night sweats are not a problem, the mood swings suck, but I can handle them NOBODY told me, "Oh, by the way, you know those multiple orgasms you got to have at the beginning of peri? You can keep them, but having the FIRST one is going to be a real bitch!" I used to have my first orgasm within minutes of oral stimulation, until about a year and half ago, it became harder and harder to have an orgasm and I was close to insanity with the frustration. We tried new toys (some of which help a lot) different positions, but it would take me a half hour to an hour to come the first time, and sometimes not at all.

I finally went to my GYN for help. He gave me some Viagra (which didn't really work, and my insurance refuses to pay for it, but will if I was a man) and some estrogen vaginal creme.

The estrogen hasn't completely solved the problem, but it is a LOT better. We usually resort to a high powered vibrator (like the Wahl 7 in 1) right before I feel like I'm going to come and then continue on as regularly, but the estrogen has helped me to come about 75% of the time.

I had my hormones tested and my resting estrogen levels are low, as is progesterone and I had a slight decrease in testosterone (I had high T before, and even though my T is "Normal" it's still low for me, but as it is in "the normal range" my GYN won't supplement it for me, which is what I really want.)

You may want to talk to your doctor about testing your hormones, (usually right after your period, if you still get them, is the best time) and get a salivary Testosterone test, also. (Blood Testosterone is too variable to get a good reading, testing your saliva is the best test for Testosterone.) (I'm a nurse, I'm not making this stuff up. )

Maybe all you need is a little estrogen and progesterone, maybe you need a boost of a little T. You may only need the female hormones, (and probably a NON oral method of delivery, such as Nuva Ring, vaginal creme or patches would work best with your digestive situation.) You won't know until you see a doctor and have your hormone levels checked. This actually is something the gastro surgeon should have done originally. It is not uncommon is women who lose a great deal of weight.

Good luck. I hope you find your way back to regular orgasming.