I'm forever a virgin because I'm a lesbian according to the majority saying a penis has to be involved to lose it.

Two (or more) people consensually engaging in sexual activity (insert your preferred method here.) for the first time is considered losing virginity for me.

The whole Penis in Vagina = no longer virgin mindset really needs to be revisited and changed. less

Why bother with virginity at all? It is an antiquated an suppressive idea. It encourages very sex-negative ideas and has no social value whatsoever. The history of the concept is very degrading to women and very suppressive of female sexuality. It's a social construct that encourages the evaluation of the value of a person based on their sexual experience. With a nearly infinite number of possible sexual experiences in the realm of human sexuality, each individual will have dozens, possibly hundreds or thousands of "first" experiences. Why pick one defining experience and place it on a pedestal especially if it may be more or less significant than any of the possible experiences that follow it? For example, a person may experience penis-in-vagina sex without achieving orgasm, but an experience with oral sex that happens to occur later that results in orgasm may be a more profound "first" to the individual than the previous experience but by societal and cultural standards, more emphasis would be placed on the former experience. For myself, i had sex with a man before having sex with a woman and, as a lesbian, my first experience with a woman was far more profound and had a far greater impact on shaping the future of my sex life in many ways, but again, society and culture dictate that my first experience with a man is the defining moment of my sexuality. Furthermore, virginity has ever been something that is "lost" or "given up" which, again, encourages a negative view on sex. Why consider a sexual experience to be a loss? Why do we not celebrate the experience and the milestone in our lives and call it a gain instead. Especially considering that the hymen is more or less a myth in itself, there is nothing so profound or life altering about penis-in-vagina sex that should render it magically more significant than any other form of sexual activity. Why get hung up on when that defining moment is that "virginity" is lost. For all but a very small percentage of women, there is not even any physically verifiable evidence that sex has occurred. There is no way to conclusively tell by any type of examination or test that a person has never had sex. Virginity tests are actually idiot tests and they are always positive because they always prove conclusively that those performing them and those who believe in them are idiots.
For myself, i consider sex to be any mutual, consensual act by two or more people that involve the genitalia or anus of at least one of those people for the purpose of pleasure. No, it doesn't have to be genital-to-genital sex. No, orgasm is not required. No, it doesn't have to be something that can yield pregnancy. No, rape doesn't count. No, kissing and touching above the waist don't count. No, for godsake, masturbation, toys, tampons and medical procedures and exams don't count. Yes, oral sex counts. Yes, anal sex counts. Yes, handjobs count. Yes, activities by people of the same sex count. If it's two or more people, consensual, for the purpose of pleasure, and one of their junk is involved, it's sex. But why do you care, anyway? Want to do it? Legally able to do it without getting someone in trouble? Is it consensual? Yes. Then do it. Be safe and enjoy it and be damned anyone else who cares or dares to object. less

The original reason for the concept of "virginity" was so a man could be sure that his young wife couldn't possibly already be carrying another man's child when they first consummated the marriage. That's why it used to be the custom in some cultures to actually display evidence of the virginity, like hanging the bloody sheets outside the window of the marital bedroom (gross but true!). Now, we have DNA testing if proof of paternity is required, and to me, virginity is more of a mental concept these days than anything else.

When I first had a sexual experience, giving my best friend a blowjob, I felt I had moved into a new realm of knowledge and experience. When I had PIV sex with a woman for the first time a year later, I felt I'd again entered a "new realm", and when I was topped by my best friend a few years after that, I felt it again.

But each time, instead of feeling like I'd "lost" something, I felt I'd gained something, specifically knowledge and experience that I didn't have before. less