A question about gender play.

Contributor: LeeKR LeeKR
Alright, so I'm genderqueer/ ftm (female to masculine/ whatever you wanna call it and I"m looking for some new perspectives here.

I was wondering if there was any one out there who had some input on how to make ones self feel/appear more masculine during sex. Strap-ons are kind of a "duh" and I know that a lot of it is a mental state just looking for some outside opinions.
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Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I'm non-transitioning mtf so I'm pretty genderqueer from the other direction, perhaps I can lend some perspective

While strapons are kind of a duh sort of thing, I don't think they're masculine by nature, plenty of women use them who don't identify as queer (and I personally enjoy the genderfuck of using them on my female partner). Using a more realistic dildo may help you to feel more masculine, or maybe using a dildo like the Feeldoe or Share which can allow you to derive more pleasure (potentially) from the penetration could help as well.

I assume you may also generally be dominant in the bedroom? Though I'm sure there are plenty of ftm submissives as well. Perhaps having a partner perform oral on a realistic strapon could be a good way to explore a typical male fantasy/interest in the bedroom.

In terms of making your body more masculine, being in full male drag might be a little much in the bedroom, but doing something as simple as wearing boxers and a wife beater during sex might enhance your feelings of masculinity. Perhaps wearing cologne, allowing more hair growth, or other physical changes like binding breasts (which you may or may not do) might help as well.

Part of it is just figuring out what you enjoy best about the masculine idea and pushing that with everything you do. Hope that helps a little!
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
While I can't be completely authoritative to your whole question, I started thinking about myself, and I think it's more connected with having a mindset/attitudes/thou ght/thought processes that you identify as male. Note that this is not necessarily the same as the mindsets/attitudes/tho ughts and thought processes that the dominant culture identifies as "male" - I don't conform to the complete dominant cultural idea of "male" but I do conform to my own idea of "male", and would still feel male even if you were to shave me and put a wig on.

I'm not sure how much of this is useful to you, as I've been male since birth in both body and mind, so I've never really been "changing" anything. The last point Boink made is good, but I'd say also consider your mental world as well.
Contributor: Dante Blaize Dante Blaize
Originally posted by LeeKR
Alright, so I'm genderqueer/ ftm (female to masculine/ whatever you wanna call it and I"m looking for some new perspectives here.

I was wondering if there was any one out there who had some input on how to make ones self feel/appear ... more
I love wearing my binder and a shirt during sex because I love the way I look and feel. Also my girlfriend uses more masculine words to describe me (handsome) and calls it my "chest" and my "cock" instead of my clit. Little things like that plus the strap on are pretty helpful. Being called Boy is nice too.
Contributor: lezergirl lezergirl
definitely a binder. As for strap ons - they have always felt rather feminine to me, so I prefer double ended toys like the Feeldoe Violet or the Share, which give one a sense of actually having a penis instead of just having one strapped on.
Contributor: Mr. & Mrs. Peg Mr. & Mrs. Peg
An ace bandage wrapped around your breasts to flatten them, a tank top, some hair gel to keep your hair sleek, and some tighy-whitey briefs over your strapon goes a long way to making you look more masculine.
Contributor: Brosia Brosia
My lover wears hir binder during sex. Sie feels more comfortable, and I love how sensitive it makes hir nipples. We also use a Feeldoe, which makes it more enjoyable for us both.
Contributor: jdFtM jdFtM
Whatever helps you feel most masculine is going to be right for you. Some people above have given some common examples, which hopefully is helpful. Wearing binders is helpful to some trans guys/other masculine-spectrum folks, but can be a bit difficult because it is harder to breathe (which comes in handy during sex :p). Ace bandages are even worse. I'd recommend a not-your-tightest binder and/or a tank if covering your chest makes you feel more masculine than not.

One thing I haven't seen on here yet was positioning. I think certain ways we position ourselves (such as penetrating your partner from behind or being on top during missionary, etc) are seen culturally as being more 'male' roles and can be validating to our masculine identities.

Best to you!
Contributor: Girly Juice Girly Juice
FTM-loving femme here! I think it's so sexy when a partner wears a wifebeater or tank top-style binder, ideally with a boxer-brief-style harness like a RodeoH. Mmmm.