How to work a large dildo

Contributor: trios trios
When I read posts regarding larger dildos, there will be references that say experienced uses must work it in, or with patience to insert it, etc.

I have recently bought a larger dildo for my wife and we want to try it out soon. Can anyone offer tips or techniques to "working" it? For instance, do I thrust it? Let it sit there? Let her move on it? What position is best for first time use? How long are we talking about- few minutes? Where's the scratching head smileys?

I want this to be a good experience for her, and any tidbits are appreciated!
07/23/2010
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Insightful breakdown of Big Dildo:

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07/23/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
Well I prefer my husband to take his time while pushing it in, he uses lube and just goes in and out right at the opening each time trying to push just a bit deeper. Just kinda work with her on it and make sure it's not hurting, sometimes it can take some time just have her relax. Once in I prefer fast thrusting, but not hard and deep, just once filled up start moving it fast. I also prefer to give my hubby head while in the all fours position facing my ass toward him so he has easy access. We've also tried my laying on my back while he pushes it in. Either position is great for opening me up. And if I'm giving head and he's pulsing it in and out I give a much better blowjob!
07/23/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Be slow and use lots of lube. Generally if you push and it hurts, let it sit, relax, then push a bit more. Eventually it won't hurt as much or anymore. I tend to do this with my girthy toys. Also make sure she's highly aroused too, it helps.
07/23/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
You don't say if it's going to be used anally or vaginally. For anal use you need to make sure that you're relaxed, comfortable and excited and there's plenty of lube both on the toy and on and in the anus. Then you want to start out with something smaller, working it in and out and around to help relax the muscles. After that perhaps use an intermediate size, and then when you're ready to attempt the large toy "re-center" and relax, then slowly start to insert, taking breaks to relax and rest when necessary. Sometimes "pushing out" helps, too.

Come to think of it, most of these recommendation also apply to vaginal use.
07/23/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyySarah
Well I prefer my husband to take his time while pushing it in, he uses lube and just goes in and out right at the opening each time trying to push just a bit deeper. Just kinda work with her on it and make sure it's not hurting, sometimes it can ... more
Ditto.
07/23/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
One little secret I found is that I bought the Vibrating Champlette link by Vixen Creations. Although the vibe is useless. The tapered design can be used to gradually relax my wife's vaginal opening to ease the way for lager toys.

There is also a larger Champ that is identical except bigger - but in my wife's case too big.

Other than this little trick - the suggestions given by the others to use plenty of lube and go slow all are very useful. For my wife beginning with shallow penetration is best - and if there is a bulbous head (one larger than the lower shaft), once the head is in she wants it to stay in - so the head massages her g-spot - not to have me withdraw it and have to feel the stretch of reentry.

Hope that helps
07/23/2010
Contributor: trios trios
Thanks! I think we'll try tonight!

In imagining what I'm going to do (It's tough being the driver sometimes!), I feel that maybe a small-movement 'rocking boat' motion
(vs straight in) while thrusting is good? I will do what you all suggest and see if she can take it in!
07/23/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
One piece of advice I will offer is be mindful of the fact that the entry to the vagina is less elastic than the vagina itself. Therefore, stopping mid-thrust before you've gotten the toy past the entry can be very painful. Sometimes it's easier just to get the damn thing in.
07/23/2010
Contributor: trios trios
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
One piece of advice I will offer is be mindful of the fact that the entry to the vagina is less elastic than the vagina itself. Therefore, stopping mid-thrust before you've gotten the toy past the entry can be very painful. Sometimes it's ... more
Ugg, too late! But thanks for that info...

I tried the Lonestar with my wife with oral after warming up with the cybercock earlier. I was able to get only the tip of the head in, and it felt like it just couldn't go anymore, so I didn't push it (literally). But I didn't stop at midthrust either, I kept the thrusting shallow as she was orgasming soon after I switched over. At least it didn't hurt, but I wasn't able to get it in either. That's alright, I enjoyed watching it and also hearing her orgasm. There will be another time for Lonestar...

Does it feel different once its in all the way? I take it "all the way" means past the head?
07/23/2010
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
I generally play with bigger toys alone first, so I can get a feel for how I'm going to like it. That way, when my partner wants to play, I'm a little more accustomed to it.
07/23/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by trios
Ugg, too late! But thanks for that info...

I tried the Lonestar with my wife with oral after warming up with the cybercock earlier. I was able to get only the tip of the head in, and it felt like it just couldn't go anymore, so I ... more
I certainly can't speak for anyone besides myself and a few partners I have had, but I do usually feel more comfortable once it's all the way in. There's this kind of "hump" (metaphorical, not literal) that I have to get over because the entry is not as forgiving as the rest of the vaginal canal. That's why doctors will sometimes make an incision to the labia minora during a birth, because that part of the vagina is not able to accommodate as much as the inside.

I think it's really a great thing that you're so invested in your partner's comfort, and I think it's very smart that you veered on the side of caution and didn't push without first talking to her. I might suggest, however, that for next time you ask her beforehand how she feels about a little "push" once the head is in. It also might be a good idea to let her "drive" at first, because she is able to respond more easily to her body's cues. Sometimes it's difficult to verbalize exactly what we're feeling or what we're comfortable with.

I would also suggest just exploring down there with your hands a bit (after asking first, lol) just to get a sense for what I'm talking about. Just by inserting a finger into the vagina and pushing against the wall you can see what I mean when I say it's a little bit more elastic and a little more forgiving. Knowing your partner's anatomy inside and out (literally) can be very helpful!
07/24/2010
Contributor: trios trios
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I certainly can't speak for anyone besides myself and a few partners I have had, but I do usually feel more comfortable once it's all the way in. There's this kind of "hump" (metaphorical, not literal) that I have to get over ... more
Thanks!

Today, I told her what you had said earlier. She seems fine to go along with my mischevious plans.

I want her to have fun with this and not feel pressured, as this is her first large silicone dildo (5.75" circumference), she is used to 5" soft cyberskin.

Lonestar will have to hang out in my closet for a while to gather lint while I take some time to get to know my wife's inner parts better (thanks SLL you are a Godsend). I do know the anatomy well, but the characteristics are different from labels. After 11 years of dating and marriage, one would think I would know this already!

When she is ready in a short while I will reintroduce him again and let her work him in. Do you suggest her on all fours, or on her back with legs spread as far as positioning goes? Earlier sexxysarah mentioned the doggy style, but not sure if either one garners more success for larger dildos/cocks?
07/24/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by trios
When I read posts regarding larger dildos, there will be references that say experienced uses must work it in, or with patience to insert it, etc.

I have recently bought a larger dildo for my wife and we want to try it out soon. Can anyone ... more
I would definitely take your time, VERY slowly, and use a lot of lubricant.
11/09/2010
Contributor: 0letitgrow 0letitgrow
Quote:
Originally posted by trios
When I read posts regarding larger dildos, there will be references that say experienced uses must work it in, or with patience to insert it, etc.

I have recently bought a larger dildo for my wife and we want to try it out soon. Can anyone ... more
Definitely leave her in control... its all about knowing when to push pull add more lube slllooooww it in or just lose it. You know what I'm saying
01/06/2011