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Suggestions tips on beginners bogage

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Contributor: Naturalred33 Naturalred33
Ok so me and my boyfriend have just barley started trying out some light bondage like just cuffs but. Both are curious about more I am intrigued with him being in control but long story short have some reservations due to my PTSD from previous abusive relationship. I have overcome a lot of issues I was dealing with during beginning of our 3 year relationship I do trust this guy but am worried we may try something and it be to much to fast or go about it wrong and I end up freaking out
So any ideas of where and how we should start exploring this together I know what works for one person may not work for the next but cant hurt to get some ideas... so go!
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09/25/2020
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Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
(EdenFantasys)
Quote:
Originally posted by Naturalred33
Ok so me and my boyfriend have just barley started trying out some light bondage like just cuffs but. Both are curious about more I am intrigued with him being in control but long story short have some reservations due to my PTSD from previous ... more
Since you're at the very beginning of the bondage play, I would advise starting with something not intimidating and not too tricky. Among cuffs, you may like Leather hand cuffs. They are soft and comfortable enough for being used by beginners, and at the same time leather cuffs look extremely hot and sexy!

The next step into the world of bondage could be Soft touch under bed restraint kit. It gives more possibilities for playing then a simple pair of cuffs. It's pretty easy to use, adjustable, soft, durable and can be used with other cuffs you might have, which make it an ideal option for novices.

Soft touch neck to wrists restraint set is another bondage item that is great for beginners. If the leash is too much for you, it can be easily removed. This restraint is very appealing, very soft and nice to the touch, can be easily adjusted or unfasten.

Also, mild sensory play is a wonderful addition to bondage use. Gentle feathers, light crops or floggers are great for enjoyable teasing. For instance, Slap-n-tickle may be a great option. The tickler end made of feather is awesome for light, pleasurable teasing, and the crop end will be great for soft strikes. This crop is designed in that way that it is impossible to cause any significant pain or damage with it, so it is an amazing item for beginners.
09/29/2020
Contributor: Ryden Cox Ryden Cox
Quote:
Originally posted by Naturalred33
Ok so me and my boyfriend have just barley started trying out some light bondage like just cuffs but. Both are curious about more I am intrigued with him being in control but long story short have some reservations due to my PTSD from previous ... more
As someone who is actually in the BDSM community, your first lesson should be learning what SSC stands for. Safe, Sane, Consensual. RACK is another one - risk aware consensual kink. Really taking the time to understand those will help should triggers happen.

Then, your most important steps should be CREATING A SAFE WORD. If you are afraid of going to far or freaking out, make sure you have a word that means stop, immediately, no questions asked. Check in maybe after and see if you want to continue, or if you need some aftercare to come down. If you are non verbal, come up with a signal.

That is how you stay safe when dealing with trauma and play.
10/10/2020
Contributor: Sissypussi Sissypussi
Quote:
Originally posted by Naturalred33
Ok so me and my boyfriend have just barley started trying out some light bondage like just cuffs but. Both are curious about more I am intrigued with him being in control but long story short have some reservations due to my PTSD from previous ... more
The best advice for anyone starting anything is to start out Slowly!! Start out by letting your boyfriend tie just your wrists together in front with a scarf. The first time should just be - you two are sitting around on a normal day and you feel it is a good time to try this. You ask him to get the scarf (very soft and comfortable.) and tie your wrists together in front. He does. You watch as he wraps the scarf around your wrists and cinches between them pulling it tight enough that you can not free yourself as he ties it where you can not reach the knot. How did each second of that feel? Now that your wrists are tied and you can not get free unless HE unTies you, how do you feel? If you are in ANYWAY uncomfortable he will release you. If hopefully, on the other hand, you Enjoy it, you can proceed to the next step. Keep your Wrists Tied for an ongoing period. For example, sit together and cuddle, watch TV. When you feel ready, ask him to tie your wrists behind your back. And progress from there. The key is Go Slow and as you feel comfortable. I wish you all the best and hope I helped. I welcome your response.
10/02/2021