The dirty side of anal sex

The dirty side of anal sex

Dragon Dragon
OK. Fess up.

There has been a number of strands on the forum that have actually talked about enemas or douching for anal sex. For me, if there is anal sex, it's part of the natural sexual process and in my life we don't spend a lot of time prepping for sex- especially with nonsense like douching. A shower is wonderful if I manage it. Some of the hottest sex that I've had has had an anal component that was completely unexpected. The best advice that I think that I ever heard is "What's a little poo if it happens?" (Although I admit I'm not fond of it!)

I'll admit that I use silicone because it's easy to clean. It's difficult to throw sex toys in the dishwasher or boil them when kids are around. It's good to be perfectly safe and sanitary, but how do you manage practical reality? Every had anything really embarrassing (especially with anal orgasms) and how was it handled?
12/19/2008
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Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
OK. Fess up.

There has been a number of strands on the forum that have actually talked about enemas or douching for anal sex. For me, if there is anal sex, it's part of the natural sexual process and in my life we don't spend a lot ...
We don't really prepare and it hasn't been an issue but I will be honest that being practical has resulted in our anal sex life being quiet for a while (but I've had a lot of issues recently with feeling rather bloated, erm, anally).
12/19/2008
Bulma Bulma
I don't prepare before hand most of the time either, as I am always horny and I don't want to spend my entire day primping and freaking out about my ass. A shower every day and a quick baby wipe right before helps to freshen up and make me feel nice a clean. It has honestly never been a big concern with me...the whole poo thing that is. I have never seen poo from my end during butt sex, and the small traces from my husband didn't really bother me either.

When it comes to sterilizing toys discretely, a 10% bleach solution works great. I like to keep some in a spray bottle handy. You just need to spray the toy down then rinse it off and you're all good to go...so long as you don't mind the smell of bleach.

I wouldn't say as I've had any really embarrassing moments during butt sex, though torpedo butt plugs are thought to be hilarious in my household.
12/20/2008
ScottA ScottA
Generally I don't even worry too much about sterilizing my silicone toys after each use. I wash them with soap & water, but it seems to me that if soap & water is OK for the biologic equipment it should work OK for the toys as well.

I'd definitely sterilize before using it on someone else, or when moving between the butt and vagina (washing should be OK, but sterilizing just feels right), but since it's just between my wife and I it doesn't seem like it's a big deal.

I echo the comment that it's impossible to always get ready - sometimes anal things just happen. If I know about it I do like to be aware, though - digestion can vary widely between people, and sometimes things get a bit messier than others for me. In all cases, some paper towels nearby are nice just in case - for excess lube if nothing else, and a place to set used toys on.
12/20/2008
Dragon Dragon
Anyone that is really into anal play found that they've gotten sick in anyway? You hear everything about "keep it clean." I'm wondering what the real risks are. I have to wonder because fecal matter from your own body is still what you already have... Anyone gotten a yeast infection or anything else? I'm curious.
12/29/2008
Liz2 Liz2
Fecal matter is a source of bacterial infection and should be kept out of the pussy. Infections here are a lot more serious then yeast infections. I put a condom on my b/f if he goes anal on me and remove it for vaginal penetration. I was even taught by my mother during early toilet training to always wipe my ass upward after a BM, never from back to front. Funny, I always remember this tip.
12/29/2008
Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Anyone that is really into anal play found that they've gotten sick in anyway? You hear everything about "keep it clean." I'm wondering what the real risks are. I have to wonder because fecal matter from your own body is still ...
I think the overall health of the vagina can influence the impact of going from anal to vaginal sex without cleaning in between. Some women are just more prone to yeast, urinary tract, and bladder infections. I think if the vagina is allowed to take care of itself it will be less likely to be a harbor for bacteria. Douching can be detrimental to the overall health of the vagina because they introduce additional foreign matter that can alter the pH balance of the vagina thus increasing the risk of infection.
Neither my partner nor I have ever gotten sick from anal intercourse and we do not generally use condoms. I don't usually go from anal to vaginal, but it has occurred before without incident.
As for wiping, my partner has always wiped from back to front without issue as well.
Granted, changing behavior would be less likely to transfer bacteria, but we haven't had any problems, so we don't worry too much about it.
12/29/2008
ScottA ScottA
While things in the intestinal tract are "in your body", the intestinal tract is set up to handle various beasties and other stuff that the reproductive and urinary systems aren't (and the upper digestive tract isn't set up for them either).

It may not be a big risk, but going anal -> vaginal is a risk. Washing or using condoms is very easy, so why put your partner at risk?
12/29/2008
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
While things in the intestinal tract are "in your body", the intestinal tract is set up to handle various beasties and other stuff that the reproductive and urinary systems aren't (and the upper digestive tract isn't set up for them ...
Well, I want to see what we can get going in the discussion. It is very very easy some of the time. However- ever woman knows men that object to the use of condoms. And if you are in a place where there isn't a sink, washing isn't always easy- ie. a car! I belong to kink mailing lists and know kink friends that find the "dirtier" the better. It's what turns them on. Everyone has their own fetish, etc.

More to the point. Sometimes in wild sex, things just happen.

I know that I'm not the only person that really wants to know. I'm just the one to bring it up. (I tend to like to do things for the benefit of others.)

I remember when my parents said don't ever smoke pot... you'll end up addicted to heroin. Right now, I wonder what people really know- besides the general rule "not to; avoid the risk."
12/29/2008
Victoria Victoria
Bacterial Vaginosis, anyone?

link

link

Found the links above in less than a minute by typing "Anal Vaginal" into Google...There are thousands more. Thanks.
12/29/2008
Fishie Princess Fishie Princess
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Well, I want to see what we can get going in the discussion. It is very very easy some of the time. However- ever woman knows men that object to the use of condoms. And if you are in a place where there isn't a sink, washing isn't always ...
I have been in the car, with a guy who was not a condom fan. Speaking aside form the various emotional issues I had in that scenario, I avoided the itchies by asking him to start in the front, get done what he needed to get done there, because once he went back, he wasn't coming back front. It seemed to work out without much protest.
01/07/2009
Fishie Princess Fishie Princess
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
OK. Fess up.

There has been a number of strands on the forum that have actually talked about enemas or douching for anal sex. For me, if there is anal sex, it's part of the natural sexual process and in my life we don't spend a lot ...
Once upon a time I was playing up a girl's butt, and came upon unexpected solid matter. This was not at all a concern for me, but I decided that rather than sit there and continue to run into it with my fingers, that I would simply take it out. She didn't notice anything at the time (she was quite enjoying herself), but when it eventually came up in conversation, she was not remotely pleased with me.

I have shared this stories with other partners, and their response is similar.

I still don't quite understand this, because for me, if my partner is going to be touching my poop any way, it makes more sense to get it out of the way as soon as possible as opposed to running into it and being aware of my poop with every thrust.

"Shit happens" is a phrase applicable to lots of things, particularly anal sex. If I'm squimish about poop, what am I doing with my hands up your butt?
01/07/2009
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by Fishie Princess
Once upon a time I was playing up a girl's butt, and came upon unexpected solid matter. This was not at all a concern for me, but I decided that rather than sit there and continue to run into it with my fingers, that I would simply take it out. ...
LOL! Good point!
01/07/2009
Snappy Snappy
Tate's The Natural Miracle Odorless Shampoo gets anal toys clean and odor-free. It might be helpful to add a very small amount to warm water and use it as a sort of "final rinse" after an enema.
01/17/2009
Red Red
It's funny how awkward this can be to talk about, but I am one of those people who does like to douche before anal sex. No, it is not necessary, and I do do anal spontaneously, but there's different levels of anal play that I will do depending on whether or not there's been a douche. Regular, slow, short term anal sex is not going to be a problem, particularly if you have good hygeine and decent pooing practices. Also, we all know what it feels like when you have something there right? Safe bet is that 1hr after pooping you will be good, but as you become aware of your your body works you will learn to recognize when you're clear and when you're not. Just don't do it when you're not.

However, I like a good, deep, hard and long anal session. Details aside, the way my body works the "way" is not clear for my longest dildos most of the time. So I made peace with douching - it just takes like 5-10 mins, no big deal, and I get complete piece of mind.

If you play in the sandbox, particularly if you dig deep, you will get dirty. When in doubt I use condoms. I have def. run into beanskins, santorum, and all out nastiness of the n'th degree. In my early attempts at douching, I gave myself enemas by mistake (there is a fine line, OK), and had this one terrible session with a later evacuation of water - brown water - right as I came from non anal stimulation. That's the worst it's ever been, but whatever, you go shower, wash your sheets and laugh it off. Live and learn.
02/02/2009
deceased deceased
Not just bacterial vaginosis. If a person has had hepatitis in the past, and you share toys, you can get hepatitis. Only A goes away. B will scar your liver for life and you will always remain positive and can pass it on by sharing blood or anal toys, and C is the worst form of hepatitis, incurable, and leads to liver failure in the future and in many cases, liver cancer. Seropositive hepatitis carriers look healthy (just like HIV carriers) till the end stages. The cleaner your anal play, the better. Even a small amount of stool that finds its way into someone's mouth can cause an E choli infection. You can also get E choli infections in wounds, your eyes, etc....and most urinary tract infections are due to Eschericia coli. Wipe, front to back, repeat and never from back to front or in circles. Pee after sex. Always.....keep your toys sanitized, use rubbers, and suppositories are a nice way to clear the rectum before anal play. Less than 15 minutes, no messy liquid, no need to lie on your left side to make sure the sigmoid colon and cecum are evacuated.
06/16/2009
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by deceased
Not just bacterial vaginosis. If a person has had hepatitis in the past, and you share toys, you can get hepatitis. Only A goes away. B will scar your liver for life and you will always remain positive and can pass it on by sharing blood or anal ...
I haven't tried suppositories yet. What type do you suggest? Glycerin? I'm not sure about bisacodyl, since I don't know how long it would cause effects.
06/16/2009
deceased deceased
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
I haven't tried suppositories yet. What type do you suggest? Glycerin? I'm not sure about bisacodyl, since I don't know how long it would cause effects.
I really like glycerin suppositories. They work once, usually in like 10 minutes and your rectal vault is evacuated. There is no laxative/bowel wall irritant like biscodyl that will make you keep going. And the store brand is like 100 suppositories for five bucks.
07/15/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Fishie Princess
Once upon a time I was playing up a girl's butt, and came upon unexpected solid matter. This was not at all a concern for me, but I decided that rather than sit there and continue to run into it with my fingers, that I would simply take it out. ...
LOL I really needed a laugh today so Thanks! I can only speak for myself but if that happened to me I think...
Later was the correct time to tell here as you were not bothered by the poop. Pleased of course I am not pleased I do not want anyone to pull or remove poop from my behind if they r up there for fun or for any other reasons so I'm gonna say just she was embarrassed.
If I was her I would not want to know about it.
I think if I was up my man's ass and found some stuff I would keep that knowledge to myself if I could remove and hide the poop without his knowledge.
07/16/2009
Jade Jade
The hubbster and I have had several incidents, mostly involving toys getting um dirty. Little hot water and soap no problem. We've done this for awhile though and I've learned to know when my bodies okay to do it and not.
03/02/2010
TacoODoom TacoODoom
we keep a pack of charmin wipes at the bedside for a reason..

i only "clean house" if we're going for a marathon instead of a sprint
03/02/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I prep by buying those Fleet enemas or a generic version, empty out the laxative to avoid embarrassing explosions, and fill with warm water. Repeat until you feel it is clean. I've had seepage one time, but my partner didn't mind as much since he did have a condom on. It happens, even when you think your tush is immaculate.
06/09/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by deceased
I really like glycerin suppositories. They work once, usually in like 10 minutes and your rectal vault is evacuated. There is no laxative/bowel wall irritant like biscodyl that will make you keep going. And the store brand is like 100 suppositories ...
Sounds like a fun weekend to me!
06/09/2010
DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO
Wanda Sykes did a 'clean to dirty' bit on one of her comedy specials. While poop is a natural, normal thing our bodies do, exposing yourself to fecal bacteria is dangerous. Vaginally, you can get infections and sometimes worse (as Misha's pointed out). If you go ass to mouth or don't wash your hands thoroughly after manual anal play you can get e. coli and make yourself very sick. My husband actually worked with a couple who both got e. coli and missed a week of work recovering. The doctor told them they needed to be very careful and even use a nail brush, cleaning under their finger nails afterwards or use latex gloves/finger cots.

As a side note, because you mentioned it being difficult to boil the toys or put them in the dishwasher with kids around, I have 4 kids and I've boiled my toys while they were home playing in the kitchen. It's not really a big deal. They ask what I'm doing, I say washing my toys like I wash theirs and they go about their business. They'll stop by and look at some of the interesting shapes or colors on the counter, even touching some of them and asking questions. I'm not going to go into any crazy details about what their father and I actually do with our toys, but I'm not going to hide them and pretend there is something to be ashamed of.

Safety, in my opinion, is way more important than trying to hide the fact that we have sex and use toys from our kids. I also feel it's a great way to show them how open and comfortable we are with talking about anything so they will come to us in the future. If you guys aren't comfortable with cleaning your toys in front of your kids you can always wait until they are in bed for the night or do it while they are at school. You can also soak your toys in a 10% bleach solution, which can be done in a large bowl and hidden in the bathroom or something. If you absolutely can't find a way to clean your toys between holes? Cover them with condoms when you put them in your butt!
06/09/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Fishie Princess
Once upon a time I was playing up a girl's butt, and came upon unexpected solid matter. This was not at all a concern for me, but I decided that rather than sit there and continue to run into it with my fingers, that I would simply take it out. ...
OK, "If I'm squeamish about poop, what am I doing with my hands up your butt" is SOOOO getting used later on at my house. My boy gets a little...embarassed? I guess when he's not entirely clean inside there and I really don't mind. If I had that big of a problem with it, there are lots of other ways to pleasure him that don't involve a risk of my hands getting 'dirty' and I've tried delicately explaining that. But tonite, it's getting laid out on the table just as you said it. Thanks!
06/09/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Anyone that is really into anal play found that they've gotten sick in anyway? You hear everything about "keep it clean." I'm wondering what the real risks are. I have to wonder because fecal matter from your own body is still ...
When My Man and I were first experimenting with anal we weren't as knowledgeable about it as we are now, and although we never SAW any poo (for lack of a more delicate way to say it) we weren't as careful as we could have been, We did a lot of No Nos like vaginal or oral after anal, without cleaning, and he wasn't careful and rimmed me after anal intercourse, once. Once he got very sick with what was like a stomach flu, and I am pretty sure it was due to the poorly time rim job. Around the same time, I got a nasty vaginal infection, he got the same thing on his penis and we were miserable for a few weeks. (His tummy bug only lasted a day, but the vaginal and penis infection we both got took weeks to get rid of.) We learned through reading and looking on the net that better care during the act was not just "a good idea" but essential for our health.

We still have anal sex a lot, but are much more careful about it. If we decide to have oral or vaginal sex AFTER we've had anal, we both wash carefully, (it can be incorporated into the act and really doesn't break the rhythm too much, washing your partner with a warm, wet soapy washcloth and rinsing them off can be very sensual) before going on to other activities or make anal the last thing we do in that session.

Yes, you CAN get sick from your own E Coli or other lower intestinal germs from anal. You aren't immune to them. But, with good hygiene and keeping track of what toy and which finger went where, and carefully cleaning the penis you will be just fine. We have had no more problems since that "learning curve" and have both learned to enjoy this very much and enjoy it safely.
06/22/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Um I say I prepare only because I do this whether or not I am having anal sex. Always squeeky clean as can be and so is my partner. Never have I had a "poo" experience.
06/28/2010
RyoKenOhki RyoKenOhki
Okay, puttin' this out there... I'm a nurse. And despite that, poo definitely is something I have yet to be able to handle. That being said, I clean up. Sometimes, things get spontaneous and it just happens and luckily nothing has come of it (if you know what I mean). Usually spontaneity means condoms. Something more planned (like before a date), I'll do it just in case it leads to that direction. But at home by myself, if it shows up on a toy, I freak out a little. I hate condoms on toys cuz it makes it feel funny, but luckily silicone (and I swear by silicone ONLY for anal toys) is easy to super clean.

For those interested in cleaning up prior, though, I recommend the Colt Anal Douche. Easy to use. I kinda followed the video from Tuesdays with Nina! Before, I used to get a store bought enema, but that got expensive over time.

Keep in mind, douching and enemas are generally unsafe to do often. While anal douching is, in my opinion, a 3 or 4 out of 10 on the bad-for-you scale, vaginal douching is definitely (unopinionated, btw) 8 or 9. While a fresh smell is always nice, you ladies should never have to deal with consequences.
07/01/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Ryo, I'm a nurse, too. I do have a slightly different take on repeated anal douching and full enemas. I know that the rectum of some people can get "lazy" (the term one of my Nursing Profs used) if repeated "aids" are used to facilitate bowel movements. I've even seen this with babies, whose mother are SO worried about "regular" bowel movements, that if the poop is 5 minutes late, they bring out the glycerin suppositories or the anal bulb syringe (My mother was one of those, and I don't ever want to repeat that experience.) Some of these kids (and adults) actually become used to the stimulation the suppository or the syringe gives them and can't poop without it. Other people have NO problem.

I think it depends on the person. Also, some people have a strong gastro-colic (or anal stimulated triggered) reflex, and an enema or even an anal douche will trigger an episode of unpredictable bowel movement patterns. Some people are still being effected by it hours later, which you don't want if you are having anal sex.

Some people, however, have "sticky" poos (no other way to say it) and in that case, if they want to be the receiver of anal sex, probably a very shallow anal douche is necessary, but they may need to limit how often, and honestly, I don't' know how often is "too often." I'd say if one becomes irritated, starts having unexpected bowel movements, is still needing to "go" hours after the douche, or has diarrhea or repeated loose stools or of course, "gas" pains or cramps, stay away from douches and suppositories and enemas. A few unlucky souls even get these symptoms from even shallow anal penetration, so, as Nina Hartley explains in her book, a well lubed fist, as a receptacle for the penis, instead, placed IN FRONT of the anus can be substituted, if desired. As Nina says, if you feel uncomfortable about anal, either due to your prep (and personally, I use NO prep whatsoever, except bathing) or simply don't feel "right" about it at the moment, "you butt has the night off."

Everybody's digestive system functions differently so what works well for one person may be a disaster for an other. I think people need to experiment and see what works for their own body.
07/05/2010
K101 K101
Goodness! I really didn't know much about anal douches until reading this. Heck, I didn't even knw people went through THAT much trouble (didn't know anal douches even existed) until recently! My partner and I have never, ever done anything anal in our lives and we wouldn't. I definitely wouldn't do it after reading this! Gosh, I couldn't imagine dealing with all that poop and douches and yuckies just to have something in my rear! I have never used enemas, suppositories, etc. I just can't stomach the idea of having someone's poop on my hands or my TOYS! AW hell no! I can handle the kid's poop and that's it! I don't play in shi*. I also can't get over the feeling that it has to be some sort of unhealthy in some way?

Also I wanted to add that wiping back to front, despite what you've experienced IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS! It's transferring everything from your rear to your vagina... EW! It can cause a lot of nasty infections. A friend of mine has a little girl who she left her grandmother to care for when the child was first born and recently she kept her for a couple weeks and didn't understand that wiping the child front to back nor back t front was bad and the little girl had a rough case f diarrhea at the time and ended up in the hospital with E.coli in her unrinary tract! EW! I wouldn't understand why a woman would ever risk that. You may have done it your whole life, but that does not mean you're unable to get the infections.
06/25/2011
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