The New Intimacy

What's the worst toy advice you've heard/received?

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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
"It's okay if it's not flared at the end, you can stick it in your ass anyhow."
Well to play devil's advocate you CAN stick it in your ass anyway...it's the removal that can be problematic!
04/01/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by fuck.puppet
this isn't toy advice,exactly. I can't remember where i heard this but, i remember someone suggesting using plastic wrap and tape as a condom. seriously...
OMG the condom substitutes: banana peels, candy wrappers, bubble gum, the plastic wrapper off cigarette packs, panties (keep them on and let him cum in them) ect.

Then there's the contraceptic advice: pour coca cola in after he cums, use cotton balls stuffed up in there to "catch" the sperms (that the actual way my teenage friend told me), jump up and down to dislodge the sperm...oh the fun!
04/01/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by Sundae
Oh man I'm allergic to Robitussin, so the thought of having that slathered down in my lady garden just makes me cringe in the worst way. Yuck!
Ha, I have never heard the expression 'lady garden' before.
04/07/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
I don't think I ever received any bad advice, but hearing the jokes and stereotypes about using Crisco and Vaseline are pretty bad. I am sure that people do use them because they hear about it like that.
04/07/2010
Contributor: YoungCouple YoungCouple
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
Some of the lube substitutes I've heard suggested were just plain awful, especially since everything I'll list was suggested at some point for vaginal play.

Vaseline. Butter. Crisco. Olive oil. Shaving cream. Hair conditioner. Sweat. ... more
Maybe i am crazy, but I have heard that Olive Oil is A OK, but that it is not used much in the west.
05/10/2010
Contributor: Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
Quote:
Originally posted by YoungCouple
Maybe i am crazy, but I have heard that Olive Oil is A OK, but that it is not used much in the west.
When I was pregnant, I remember reading in several fairly trusted places that one could use olive oil during perineum massage (to soften the tissue in preparation for crowning). I never did, but I always wondered about that. Maybe it was considered safe because it was just for that small, exterior area? I was never sure about that one though.
I just read erotica yesterday where olive oil was used as lube for vaginal penetration, and it was distracting because I was concerned about the oil. lol
05/20/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone's Addiction
When I was pregnant, I remember reading in several fairly trusted places that one could use olive oil during perineum massage (to soften the tissue in preparation for crowning). I never did, but I always wondered about that. Maybe it was considered ... more
Oil is not considered to be the best lube simply because it isn't easy to wash away and can trap bacteria in the area. That being said my Dr. did state that extra virgin olive oil has anti-bacterial properties that make it somewhat acceptable as a body oil, perineum massage and a infrequent lube for anal sex, he still doesn't recommend it for vaginal lube.
05/20/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Febreeze...holy crap! Uh no no. I've heard of people microwaving or washing their toys in the washer machine for clothes...
05/20/2010
Contributor: *Ashley* *Ashley*
Interesting stuff, I myself haven’t heard of any horror advice though...

I did however hear a VERY disturbing story from a girl I used to hang out with though.. She, in my opinion, was a disturbing person with many stories anyways.. But one sex toy related was this:

We were having some girl talk, being in our mid teens, with some close girl friends. And something disturbing come from a friends mouth. She had shared with us the she has in fact used a sex toy, a dildo of some sort. The disturbing part was that it was her mothers toy she often used! EWWWW, GROSE, NASTY.. the few thing that ran though my mind. I asked her if she was kidding or trying to show of or whatever. She said 'no', that it was in fact a true story. Being that I was still young I knew that it was unsanitary and told her that it was. I don’t know/think it made a difference. I believe she said she had washed it, But I think she was just saying that because she saw how grossed out everyone was... I hope she did though!

So there it is. A horror story I’ve heard about sex toys.... I thought that it was very disturbing, especially being in my mid teen years!
05/20/2010
Contributor: *Ashley* *Ashley*
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
OMG the condom substitutes: banana peels, candy wrappers, bubble gum, the plastic wrapper off cigarette packs, panties (keep them on and let him cum in them) ect.

Then there's the contraceptic advice: pour coca cola in after he cums, use ... more
I have also heard of condom stories like that. especially the plastic wrap..

I told my friends that they were stupid and never paid any mind. I just told them if you really don’t want babies then instead of using those as condoms, USE A REAL CONDOM... and not an extremely old one.. lol. or better yet, don’t have sex.

Most of what you said I’ve more than likely heard. (not the coca-cola or the cotton balls -tampons though-)
05/20/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by *Ashley*
Interesting stuff, I myself haven’t heard of any horror advice though...

I did however hear a VERY disturbing story from a girl I used to hang out with though.. She, in my opinion, was a disturbing person with many stories anyways.. But one ... more
I had a friend like this too when I was a teenager. I thought it was so bizarre that she shared vibes with her mom, the mom knew about it too and didn't care.
05/23/2010
Contributor: Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
"It's okay if it's not flared at the end, you can stick it in your ass anyhow."
Mmmmmm.... I think I saw that person in the Emergency Room not too long ago!!
07/19/2010
Contributor: Red Riding Hood Red Riding Hood
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
It wasn't for a toy, but on Bad Dragon someone suggested a pinch of baking soda added to the lube when lubing up a toy for anal. That just seems like so many kinds of wrong to me.
BAD DRAGON! I SO LOVE YOU! Haha
And yeah that's just ...
What was it supposed to do that a cleaner or soap won't?
Creepy.
07/30/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
"It's okay if it's not flared at the end, you can stick it in your ass anyhow."
I recently was corrected by a self titled "sexpert" about anal toys....ahem...."If something gets sucked into your bowel it will eventually come out on it's own. Just wait for the item to reach the 'wall of shit' and it will be pushed out with it." I would love to say that I politely told him that he did indeed have a 'wall of shit' and use all medical terms to describe what can happen if your bowel gets perforated or ANY of the horrible things that can happen with a bowel obstruction but I was laughing too hard at the look on his girlfriends face. She's an ER doctor....needless to say there was some educating going on in their house that evening. Was too funny.
07/30/2010
Contributor: wildorchid wildorchid
This thread is too funny. Old, but I'm bringing it back! Maybe, who knows. Strawberry jelly as a flavoured lube. Also, my friend's mom is an ER nurse and every Christmas Eve, the same gentleman comes in with something new shoved up his ass so far that he can't get it out. She tells us about it every year on Christmas day... Yeah!
03/10/2012
Contributor: butts butts
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
It wasn't for a toy, but on Bad Dragon someone suggested a pinch of baking soda added to the lube when lubing up a toy for anal. That just seems like so many kinds of wrong to me.
baking soda is actually 100% safe to put almost anywhere on your body, and it's safe to ingest! It's often used for stomach problems, washing your hair, deodorizing sweaty areas, all sorts of things. I definitely don't think it's necessary at all for a toy, but it won't hurt you.
03/10/2012
Contributor: butts butts
The worst toy related things I've heard are;
Using SCENTED LOTION as an anal lubricant ("never put something on your skin or up your butt that you wouldn't eat/drink" is obviously something that person had never heard)
and using a dildo anally over and over with no condom and without washing it.

They weren't really advice, more stories of people misusing toys.
03/10/2012
Contributor: jprince jprince
Quote:
Originally posted by fuck.puppet
this isn't toy advice,exactly. I can't remember where i heard this but, i remember someone suggesting using plastic wrap and tape as a condom. seriously...
omg thats great!!! i cant stop laughing thats just like DUCT TAPE FIXES EVERYTHING
03/13/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by wildorchid
This thread is too funny. Old, but I'm bringing it back! Maybe, who knows. Strawberry jelly as a flavoured lube. Also, my friend's mom is an ER nurse and every Christmas Eve, the same gentleman comes in with something new shoved up his ... more
Now that's Christmas dinner table talk!
03/13/2012
Contributor: Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
"If anal play hurts, just keep going. It's like having vaginal sex for the first time, you just have to push through the pain, and it will get better. If you're one of those super-sensitive girls, use a desensitizing lube, it'll make ... more
Ugh, yeah. The myth that anal is SUPPOSED to hurt the first time (since when does your bum have a hymen?!) kills me. I can't imagine how many people have had terrible experiences because of it.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
The worst advice I received personally was pretty tame compared to most of the stuff you guys have mentioned. When I was starting out I was told that after I got used to my plastic vibrator, jelly toys would be the "next step up." This was from someone who didn't really use toys and so couldn't be expected to know much about them (and at the time, I didn't know better, either). While material preferences are subjective, I'd hardly say that jelly is a "step above" plastic.

And this wasn't told to me directly, but I remember hearing once that alcohol is a good lube. ALCOHOL, for Pete's sake! That sounds like a bucketload of unhappiness waiting to spill all over the place!
03/13/2012