How do you feel about the following?
I know a couple that has been together for years and the one partner was diagnosed with a serious illness several years ago. It's a long term degenerative illness so the person's health is progressively getting worse although they are not terminal and could easily live many more years. In the years since the diagnosis the sexual aspect of their relationship disappeared and the husband took care of the wife's changing health needs, like taking to dr appts, taking care of things around the house, etc. After years of the the couple being celibate the wife that is ill gave the husband permission to have a sexual relationship with someone else. This includes sex but also some dating things like going out to dinner and stuff like that, so maybe friends with benefits. The new woman knew about the man's situation from the beginning and he made clear to her that he had no intention of leaving his sick wife or prioritizing the relationship with her over his wife's health needs and she was ok with that. It's been a couple years and it seems to be working for all three of them but has got me wondering about the issue in general.
For those that are in committed monogamous relationships or looking to be in one, would you give your partner that option in a similar situation or would you want that option yourself if you were the caregiver? Does the duration matter, for example, caring for an ill partner for 1 year as opposed to 8 years? Would it matter to you if what the healthy partner did with someone else was purely sexual or if they also did nonsexual activities together like going to dinner or the movies? Are there other situations in which you would consider giving your partner permission to become involved with someone else while you were still together?
I know a couple that has been together for years and the one partner was diagnosed with a serious illness several years ago. It's a long term degenerative illness so the person's health is progressively getting worse although they are not terminal and could easily live many more years. In the years since the diagnosis the sexual aspect of their relationship disappeared and the husband took care of the wife's changing health needs, like taking to dr appts, taking care of things around the house, etc. After years of the the couple being celibate the wife that is ill gave the husband permission to have a sexual relationship with someone else. This includes sex but also some dating things like going out to dinner and stuff like that, so maybe friends with benefits. The new woman knew about the man's situation from the beginning and he made clear to her that he had no intention of leaving his sick wife or prioritizing the relationship with her over his wife's health needs and she was ok with that. It's been a couple years and it seems to be working for all three of them but has got me wondering about the issue in general.
For those that are in committed monogamous relationships or looking to be in one, would you give your partner that option in a similar situation or would you want that option yourself if you were the caregiver? Does the duration matter, for example, caring for an ill partner for 1 year as opposed to 8 years? Would it matter to you if what the healthy partner did with someone else was purely sexual or if they also did nonsexual activities together like going to dinner or the movies? Are there other situations in which you would consider giving your partner permission to become involved with someone else while you were still together?
