I don't think he intends to make me feel bad, but he kind of pouts when we can't do it!
Does your lover make you feel guilty if you can't or don't want to have sex?
05/31/2011
Quote:
it depends on what use you want it for, your budget and being a bigger girl myself your size. start a thread if you want some advice
Originally posted by
MaryExy
Is there some "Which Liberator shape is right for you?" quiz I'm missing? There are so many choooooiceeeeees
05/31/2011
Not at all, thought we rarely find ourselves in this situation. I am usually the shot down party.
05/31/2011
This is a little iffy to answer. Usually my fiance understands, because I have medical conditions that cause me to get sick for days/weeks/ and even months at a time. I can usually still have sex, but sometimes I feel to exhausted for anything more than kissing. When I'm sick, he is able to hold back.
When it's just one of those nights where I'm not turned on he can unintenionally make me feel guilty. He doesn't try to though. He'll just keep trying and trying to get me in the mood.
When it's just one of those nights where I'm not turned on he can unintenionally make me feel guilty. He doesn't try to though. He'll just keep trying and trying to get me in the mood.
05/31/2011
It never happens. However, the situation when I simply don't want it happens rarely - usually I just can't (busy or sick).
06/01/2011
She wants sex more than I and has laid a bit of a guilt trip occasionally. What really gets me is at the end she almost always says "more, I want more" when I finish, even if she has had several orgasms. That has gotten to me a lot more than the guilt trips. I think she means that it was so good she wants more, but hearing it every time makes me feel a bit inadequate.
06/03/2011
My boyfriend let's me know he's frustrated about it. It's not just because he want to just get off, though. It more about the closeness and intimacy factor for him. That's how he shows affection.
06/05/2011
Quote:
OMG same for me.
Originally posted by
MaryExy
Depends on how much I don't want to. He generally has a good sense of whether I'm really against doing anything or I can be convinced.
He knows what to do to reel me in when he sees my hesitation. If he sees that no is no, he lays back. I will often tell him to go jerk off if I'm not in the mood but he has a raging boner that won't disapear.
06/06/2011
Nope, she respects me
06/07/2011
That has only ever happened to me in one relationship, and I dumped his ass because, really...who would do that? Ugh.
06/18/2011
Quote:
Ditto!
Originally posted by
Howells
I, myself feel guilty when I need to turn down. It happens very rarely though. Sometimes after we had too much (I guess there is such thing as too much) sex and I can become a little bit sore or I don't know, just don't feel the need.
06/18/2011
Quote:
This is a tough one. Depends on the day.
Originally posted by
TexasBrat
Maybe it's because you're sick, have a condition, or just don't want to....
06/18/2011
Quote:
My boyfriend is respectable but I will admit I probably make him feel guilty. He works and goes to school plus we don't live together so sometimes it's hard to find time. I like to have sex very often, everyday or every other day, so when he says he's tired or something, I get frustrated.
Originally posted by
TexasBrat
Maybe it's because you're sick, have a condition, or just don't want to....
06/19/2011
I had an ex who made me feel guilty if I didn't want to have sex. Left him a long time ago.
06/19/2011
Quote:
Omg I need to listen to yu oh-so much every point you made is like you are in my relationship word for word. THis is how he feels ... " I stopped attacking him for what I thought he was saying and started listening to him...really hearing him. Turns out he wasn't saying he didn't love me and wanted to find something better! " and I do this, so concerned about the wrong possibilities and he feels that I am not truly listening... Thats one of the hardest things to learn. to listen.
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
If I could offer your poor psyche a suggestion: Try tuning your mind's eye to look for the intimate connection with your husband outside of actual sex. Too many times those of us who have trust issues say things like "If he is having sex
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If I could offer your poor psyche a suggestion: Try tuning your mind's eye to look for the intimate connection with your husband outside of actual sex. Too many times those of us who have trust issues say things like "If he is having sex with me and is enjoying it then he isn't cheating"...the truth is most times there ISN'T a sexual disconnect that points to cheating, there's an intimacy disconnect.
If he comes home joyfully and wants to know about your day; compliments you on your looks, cooking or housekeeping (or whatever); looks you in the eyes and smiles; wants to spend quiet time with you ect. these things are an indication that he is happy and content at home.
Listen to his fantasies and share yours without judgement, don't be afraid to hear that he is still looking at lovely women afterall you want your man to be a real man! Real men look but are honest about their intentions.
Make sure you make it absolutely safe for him to come to you about what he is thinking and feeling because that is probably the only thing that saved our wrecked marriage. I stopped attacking him for what I thought he was saying and started listening to him...really hearing him. Turns out he wasn't saying he didn't love me and wanted to find something better!
All of this heped me to leave my parent's horifying war zone of an example of marital bliss behind...and he was able to leave his free wheeling sex crazed parent's lives behind as well. less
If he comes home joyfully and wants to know about your day; compliments you on your looks, cooking or housekeeping (or whatever); looks you in the eyes and smiles; wants to spend quiet time with you ect. these things are an indication that he is happy and content at home.
Listen to his fantasies and share yours without judgement, don't be afraid to hear that he is still looking at lovely women afterall you want your man to be a real man! Real men look but are honest about their intentions.
Make sure you make it absolutely safe for him to come to you about what he is thinking and feeling because that is probably the only thing that saved our wrecked marriage. I stopped attacking him for what I thought he was saying and started listening to him...really hearing him. Turns out he wasn't saying he didn't love me and wanted to find something better!
All of this heped me to leave my parent's horifying war zone of an example of marital bliss behind...and he was able to leave his free wheeling sex crazed parent's lives behind as well. less
06/19/2011
My man never makes me feel guilty if I don't want to have sex period, but he will make me feel a little guilty if I use a toy INSTEAD of having sex with him.
06/22/2011
With my present b/f we understand each other and just seem to know when when its No and we don,t push.
On the other hand, I had a b/f that wanted sex every day, no matter what and we didn't live together!! Somehow, I thought he was going for bragging rights with his also immature friends....
On the other hand, I had a b/f that wanted sex every day, no matter what and we didn't live together!! Somehow, I thought he was going for bragging rights with his also immature friends....
06/22/2011
He doesn't make me feel guilty, but he might pout a little.
06/29/2011
My guy does. He doesn't mean to by what he does, and he'll be understanding at the moment, but later that day or the next day whenever I'm horny he'll make remarks that he came onto me and I turned him down for whatever reason
If my guy doesn't want sex when I do he says crap like he wanted it earlier but I couldn't (like if I have work or errands to do or caring for my daughter) and somehow turns it into my fault.. I never realized that till I was writing this out. Wow, I have some things to change in my relationship I guess.
If he doesn't do that, then I do accidentally make him feel bad sometimes.
If my guy doesn't want sex when I do he says crap like he wanted it earlier but I couldn't (like if I have work or errands to do or caring for my daughter) and somehow turns it into my fault.. I never realized that till I was writing this out. Wow, I have some things to change in my relationship I guess.
If he doesn't do that, then I do accidentally make him feel bad sometimes.
06/30/2011
My ex used to make me feel very guilty in the rare occasions that I wasn't up for sex, but he made me feel the guiltiest when I made it clear I was totally up for sex, but not without a condom. He put on a big sulk fit after that one. I also don't know why he felt compelled to try to guilt me into sex, because when I didn't want it myself, I was usually fine with giving him a handjob at least.
I probably gave him some guilt - I tried not to, but for a long time, we only saw each other once a month, and him not even making an effort for me hurt my feelings a lot. I would have understood "I'm just too tired/stressed/not in the mood", but he would usually just kind of ignore me. He ignored me on our last anniversary together, even though I was wearing sexy lingerie - he was doing homework that he could have finished at any point earlier in the week. I didn't try to guilt him, but I was really hurt about that one, and when he finally decided he was ready for sex (about 4 AM, when I had given up and gone to sleep at midnight), I barely put in any effort.
Of course, I know now his libido was low for me because he was getting it elsewhere :\
I probably gave him some guilt - I tried not to, but for a long time, we only saw each other once a month, and him not even making an effort for me hurt my feelings a lot. I would have understood "I'm just too tired/stressed/not in the mood", but he would usually just kind of ignore me. He ignored me on our last anniversary together, even though I was wearing sexy lingerie - he was doing homework that he could have finished at any point earlier in the week. I didn't try to guilt him, but I was really hurt about that one, and when he finally decided he was ready for sex (about 4 AM, when I had given up and gone to sleep at midnight), I barely put in any effort.
Of course, I know now his libido was low for me because he was getting it elsewhere :\
09/26/2011
He'll usually give one go at making absolutely sure I'm not in the mood, then he'll accept it.
09/26/2011
Not at all.
12/17/2011
I need an other option, I never not want to have sex, unless I am absolutely sick and can't, otherwise I want to have sex. Even then I want to, but do not want to get him sick.
12/17/2011
never crossed my mind. Shes everything to me.
12/17/2011
I think he feels hurt sometimes, but doesn't TRY to make me feel guilty
12/17/2011
My hubby doesn't make me feel bad, he's totally okay about it. But I tend to feel bad anyways because we have long work weeks and sometimes go without sex for a long time!
12/17/2011
Nope.
12/17/2011
This isn't a good thing. It's important to try to get guilt trips out of the relationship, and not just because of one person giving in all the time.
12/17/2011
no sex is no fun when one party isnt into it so if i am not in the mood then they arent upset they are willing to wait!!!
12/20/2011
Total posts: 59
Unique posters: 50
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