The New Intimacy

Friends with benefits

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Contributor: mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
Perhaps I am shy. Okay, that is not it at all, I am far from shy. I am rather outgoing in fact, and often the loudest in the group.

Yet here I am, reaching out for help because for once I am finding difficulty doing something I want to.

Does anyone here have a friend with benefits? If so, how did that happen for you?

I have a friend that I think could be more, but I don't know how to bring this up to her.

Sure, we have "joked" often about having sex with each other, yet I am not sure if it was just joking, or more.

Any advice? It will all be appreciated.
03/16/2011
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Contributor: THUMPER THUMPER
Quote:
Originally posted by mysecretcollection
Perhaps I am shy. Okay, that is not it at all, I am far from shy. I am rather outgoing in fact, and often the loudest in the group.

Yet here I am, reaching out for help because for once I am finding difficulty doing something I want ... more
I had a reverse situation - I started dating someone and we ended up in a long term (9yrs) relationship; I ended it but now we're best friends, with benefits. I credit that with being truthful. I would say honesty is always the best policy. When you and her are alone together ask her how she really feels about you and if she'd be adverse to a friends with benefits situation. Let her know how you feel about her. Chances are if she was willing to joke about it with you, she probably has given it some thought. Good Luck!
03/16/2011
Contributor: mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
Quote:
Originally posted by THUMPER
I had a reverse situation - I started dating someone and we ended up in a long term (9yrs) relationship; I ended it but now we're best friends, with benefits. I credit that with being truthful. I would say honesty is always the best policy. ... more
If I am being honest with myself, I really believe that she is not really just joking, but putting it that way so that she is more "comfortable" talking about it.

I guess my only reservations about it is that I would hate to lose a friendship if it doesn't all go well, you know? I had another person that I had that type of relationship with, and then after the first time we had sex (horrible sex at that) I really had no interest even being his friend anymore.
03/16/2011