The New Intimacy

Getting past mental blocks caused by sexual abuse?

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Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Because of abuse I experienced when I was younger, I've struggled for years to overcome mental blocks.
In essence, I was unable to have an orgasm if a male was in the room with me, even if he was on the other side of the room with his back turned. Due to lots of work (and patience from my partner), I can now have an orgasm while a male is touching me. Sadly, I'm still struggling to achieve climax while a penis is inside of me. I can be right on the brink, but as soon as he pushes inside of me, I lose it completely, no matter how hard I try to get there.

Have you (or someone you know) encountered problems after a painful experience? Have you overcome those problems? How?
02/07/2012
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Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
Because of abuse I experienced when I was younger, I've struggled for years to overcome mental blocks.
In essence, I was unable to have an orgasm if a male was in the room with me, even if he was on the other side of the room with his back ... more
I'm sorry to hear that, but it seems like you're making some great progress so far. Hang in there and just keep trying to be positive. =3

I did have an issue like that for a little while after one of my mother's boyfriends did something bad enough to me to put him in jail (not rape, but still pretty bad and non-consensual) where even just masturbating made me feel dirty and sinful....I used to have to shower and scrub till I was raw to feel any amount of self worth again.
It took me a while but eventually it got better.
02/07/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
I just want to offer my support. *hugs* I'm fortunate enough to have never been in a bad situation like that, so I don't think there's any advice I can give. But it sounds like you're making progress, which is a good sign in and of itself, and you have a partner who's wonderfully patient. Don't give up - I'm sure you'll be able to fully enjoy sex someday.

Lots and lots of love to you! *more hugs*
02/07/2012
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Quote:
Originally posted by KyotoAngel
I'm sorry to hear that, but it seems like you're making some great progress so far. Hang in there and just keep trying to be positive. =3

I did have an issue like that for a little while after one of my mother's boyfriends did ... more
I'm sorry that your mother's boyfriend hurt you, and I'm glad he's in jail now. Hopefully he has a long sentence.
I know that feeling- needing to scrub and scrub and make the water so hot that you're scalding yourself, trying to get rid of the memories even though you know you can't wash them away.
It sounds like you're making great progress yourself. Keep your head up. I'm always around, if you need or want to talk.
02/08/2012
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
I just want to offer my support. *hugs* I'm fortunate enough to have never been in a bad situation like that, so I don't think there's any advice I can give. But it sounds like you're making progress, which is a good sign in and of ... more
Thank you so much for the support. Your comment actually made me tear up a bit. It's really sad how many people have experienced some form of abuse (sexual or not), but I'm happy you haven't had to go through that.
I am extremely lucky to have a partner who is willing to work through this problem with me. I know it's incredibly frustrating to him, because he tries so hard.
I'm also very lucky to have people who are loving and supportive, because that also helps a lot. So, again, thank you. *hugs*
02/08/2012