Hard toys tend to be easier to notice, when you're going more aggressively than your body wants to allow. I thought maybe I was like you at one point (enjoying a harder fuck, versus a slower one), but once i used my first steel toy, I quickly found that a slow, deep screw with a nice hard, steel toy was worth more than any quick, hard fuck with a soft toy. It gave me the same depth of stimulation I didnt' know I was striving for, without all the innard bruising thrusting.

I still get vigorous and excited, sometimes. But even then, my body lets me know loud and clear I'm going too fast, and morning after aches sometimes happen, but not to the degree I was afraid of...