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Hey, guys, need your advice.
Well, despite the fact that my wifey and I have sex a couple of times per week, she doesn’t always get close enough to the edge to have an orgasm. I’m an open-minded guy, ready to try almost anything, while she
Hey, guys, need your advice.
Well, despite the fact that my wifey and I have sex a couple of times per week, she doesn’t always get close enough to the edge to have an orgasm. I’m an open-minded guy, ready to try almost anything, while she seems to be embarrassed about sharing her kinky thoughts with me. I’ve tried a whole bunch of stuff from gentle sex to being really wild with her (thanks, 50 shades..). I feel that sometimes she’s not in the mood for some reason.
This site seems to be promising. So I’m also looking for sex toy advice. Ladies (and gents with SOs), what toy would you suggest trying with her? What works for you personally? Does anyone have the same issue?
Never underestimate the power of a blended orgasm - i.e. g-spot and clitoris (both are connected, but I digress). The best way to hit both at the same time is through crafty finger play and angle manipulation. You want to be able to hit her g-spot (rough textured, spongey feeling space on the top of her vaginal wall, about a knuckle deep) while also playing with that magic spot.
Start off with lots of slow foreplay/kink or whatever she's interested in - you know her best, and if not, nudge her with gentle commands that get consent simultaneously (i.e. "you like that, baby?" or "pull my hair/scratch my back so I know you like what I'm doing.") Oral never, ever hurts - and when she starts bucking her hips, you know it's time to move on.
Here are some of my favorite tricks:
1. Use a pillow under her lower body - near her hips, ass, thighs, to help leverage her body up a little. This will help her relax and open her hips, and help you hit her g-spot. Angles are everything, believe me.
2. Use your fingers to play with her clit while you penetrate her (with you, toys, fingers, etc.) Or tongue, if you can manage it.
3. Take the palm of your hand, and lightly press against the bottom, lower part of her stomach - above her vagina, but lower than her belly-button. Light pressure helps with female ejaculation (squirting is real! It's a combination of sexual fluid and sometimes urine, often passed through the urethra) but it can also help intensify the pressure of what you're doing to her. Keep it LIGHT. You're helping, not hurting.
4. See what sets her off. Sometimes it's dirty talk, neck playing (biting, sucking, kissing, choking) or whatever fetish/BDSM/kink she's into. Know what sends her over the edge and makes her toes curl.
5. Make it a setting that she finds relaxing. Orgasms are mental, about 80% of the time (I'm making this statistic up, but most women would tell you the same). It's all about that head space. She needs to be relaxed (otherwise she'll be too tight, clench up, etc.). Not too cold, but not too hot/sweaty either. Music, candles, and some wine, never hurt. Is she stressed about work? Cooking? Kids? Anything? Take care of that so she doesn't have to worry about it and can relax. Clear her head space first.
6. LUBE. I'll say it again - lube, lube, lube, lube. I don't care if she's already wet or if you're using a lubricated condom. Lube will provide you with a slippery texture that will help you move faster and better for her. Get a natural based lube without glycerin (that's how you get yeast infections. Not joking). Sliquid is my personal favorite. Obviously do not combine silicone lube with silicone toys - it'll melt the sex toy. That's why water-based in my go-to.
7. Try something new! New position, new angle, new places. Try fucking on a desk or a chair - trust me, it really is all about those angles.
Best of luck & happy fucking!