In Need of Advice

Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Hello everyone!
I'm in need of some advice. I'm embarrassed to ask this because I don't want to come off as...ignorant on what to do.
I've had a crush on someone for a while. Recently, this person came out to me as trans. Given that I was under the impression they were a straight male, I have to admit it came off as a surprise. I'm also still attracted to them. But there are complications. I don't know if they're attracted to men or women. It never came up. I assumed they were attracted to women since they came off as straight, but I don't know. I'm unsure of whether or not to explore these feelings. What happens if they're attracted to men, and I still find them attractive and it gets weird? How do I approach this? Do I just flat out ask? What's the appropriate way to ask? I've never had a crush this...intense before. I've also never met a trans person before. So I think that's why I'm nervous?

(BTW I've always identified as bi so it makes no difference to me if a person is a man or woman if I'm attracted to them)
01/05/2020
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Contributor: Perspicace mais érotique Perspicace mais érotique
Quote:
Originally posted by christyfuntime89
Hello everyone!
I'm in need of some advice. I'm embarrassed to ask this because I don't want to come off as...ignorant on what to do.
I've had a crush on someone for a while. Recently, this person came out to me as trans. Given ... more
I would approach it like any other crush. When I was in school, I wasted a lot of time worrying about how others would perceive me to the point that it stopped me from doing so many things that I wanted to do. There were lots of times that I just wanted to run up to a guy I liked and say “Hey, I really like you” but I was so worried about what my peers would think and say and that he might look at me and say something bad in reply, that I never did. Then later I would find out that he had a crush on me too and I would be so mad at myself! So after I went to college, I decided “to hell with it and I don’t care what others think. I’m going to say what I want to, when I want to”. It works for me! Of course I think my mom is the only one who doesn’t like it, Lol! She says that I’m too outspoken for my own good sometimes.

I would be straight forward and tell your crush that you have feelings for him but that you have no expectations. You just needed for him to know that these feelings had been developing all along and you wanted to share with him as he had shared with you. At that point, I would think he would say whether he was attracted to men or women because it would be an appropriate response to your shared news with him. It may be uncomfortable but I would definitely talk to him in person if possible (if you had been previously too). It’s too hard to tell how people are feeling from texts and if it’s in person, he will feel more obligated to have to address the questions of whether he likes men, women or both and most importantly, whether he has feelings for you. But if it’s over text or online, he may try to avoid answering stuff like that without you being forced to directly ask him. But my advice is to definitely seize the day!!! Tell him how you feel!!!!! Now versus later!!!!
01/05/2020
Contributor: CrazyMike CrazyMike
My opinion is if he revealed to you he is a trans, he trusts you enough, and you may feel free to kindly and politely ask him who is he attracted to - men or women. And I guess it is a normal thing to ask a transgender. Since he had to change gender, it might not be obvious who he prefers. Anyway, I think it is better to ask and to know and move further than to suffer from doubts and unconfirmed guesses.

BTW, it may happen, that he likes both - women and men as well.
01/06/2020
Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
Dear christyfuntime89!

There is nothing to be embarrassed about and there is nothing weird that you're feeling confused. And I think that the optimal way for you is to ask directly and friendly about their preferences. I completely understand your hesitation and uncertainty, but life is too short to spend it in doubts. Throw away all your fears and have an open conversation with them. No matter what the answer is, you will feel better when you express your feeling, and also, it will be pleasing for them to know that somebody finds them attractive.

Good luck to you!
01/06/2020
Contributor: Croc Croc
'You know I've been thinking'
'About what?'
'I've always identified as bi so it makes no difference to me if a person is a man or woman if I'm attracted to them'
'Wow'
'What about you? I'm curious since I don't know much about trans people'
'Answer'

PS when was their operation? Is that true that trans-people live no more than 10 years post op?
01/06/2020
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by christyfuntime89
Hello everyone!
I'm in need of some advice. I'm embarrassed to ask this because I don't want to come off as...ignorant on what to do.
I've had a crush on someone for a while. Recently, this person came out to me as trans. Given ... more
Hello everyone! Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my inquiry. And so quickly too! Well, I did it. I took the plunge and asked. He's into men, so there's nothing that can happen between us. It hurts, but I'm glad I know now. Things seem to be awkward between us now. I think he may have detected I had a crush on him, but maybe I'm overthinking.

:sighs:

Well....it's back to the drawing board for me.
01/06/2020
Contributor: Perspicace mais érotique Perspicace mais érotique
Quote:
Originally posted by christyfuntime89
Hello everyone! Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my inquiry. And so quickly too! Well, I did it. I took the plunge and asked. He's into men, so there's nothing that can happen between us. It hurts, but I'm glad I know now. ... more
Sorry about his answer. But I'm glad you didn't follow my advice!! I bet you are overthinking it. Let's hope!!!
01/06/2020
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by christyfuntime89
Hello everyone! Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my inquiry. And so quickly too! Well, I did it. I took the plunge and asked. He's into men, so there's nothing that can happen between us. It hurts, but I'm glad I know now. ... more
Do not feel disheartened for it is better to know than to live not knowing and regret. Chin up, in time you will look back on this moment and both laugh as friends. Give it time.
01/06/2020
Contributor: Perspicace mais érotique Perspicace mais érotique
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Do not feel disheartened for it is better to know than to live not knowing and regret. Chin up, in time you will look back on this moment and both laugh as friends. Give it time.
Nicely said! and great advice!!
01/07/2020
Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
Quote:
Originally posted by christyfuntime89
Hello everyone! Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my inquiry. And so quickly too! Well, I did it. I took the plunge and asked. He's into men, so there's nothing that can happen between us. It hurts, but I'm glad I know now. ... more
Don't take it too close to your heart. You did so well asking him! Now you know he is not a person for you, and to be back to the drawing board is not necessarily is a bad thing. Maybe life is just preparing you for meeting with someone special, and all the experience you're having is for you to meet him or her in all your glory
01/09/2020
Contributor: Sissypussi Sissypussi
Quote:
Originally posted by christyfuntime89
Hello everyone!
I'm in need of some advice. I'm embarrassed to ask this because I don't want to come off as...ignorant on what to do.
I've had a crush on someone for a while. Recently, this person came out to me as trans. Given ... more
Hello Christy, as Shemale myself, I can offer some advice. If you are attracted to your friend, let them know. I am certain they will be flattered whether they return your feelings or not. If your friend is like me and into women, you could possibly start a Wonderful Life together!! If your friend does not share intimate feelings for you the very least that will happen is your friendship will be stronger and your friend will have a woman with whom feminine life can be shared. Shopping together, Discussing girly things,etc.
10/03/2021
Contributor: Sissypussi Sissypussi
Quote:
Originally posted by Croc
'You know I've been thinking'
'About what?'
'I've always identified as bi so it makes no difference to me if a person is a man or woman if I'm attracted to them'
'Wow'
'What about you? ... more
Where did you get the Totally Stupid Idea that Post-Op people only live 10 Years!!!???
10/03/2021