The New Intimacy

Introducing wife to anal.........on me

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Contributor: thetryal thetryal
to give a little background, my wife does not like to receive anal. mainly because of the health issues related to it. she is very mindful when i massage her perineum that i dont get to close to her anus.

we have recently started being more adventurous. she used to be conservative when it came to toys, etc. now she is a little more open minded about trying new things. to be it in perspective though, i got her the picobong moka and she loves the clitoral stimulation but has yet to try it internally because it is too intimidating.

this brings me to how i bring up asking her to finger my prostate. i dont think she would really be open to the idea.

any suggestions on how to request this from her?
07/18/2012
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Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Talk to her in a non-sexual situation and say that you would really enjoy it. Don't just spring it on her mid foreplay. If she resists, ask why and listen. Then help her overcome any anxiety or concerns she may have in a nice way. Don't push the issue, but try to help her come around.

For what it's worth, I would never ever stick my finger in my husband's ass because I'm a germ-a-phobe. I do peg him though as my finger doesn't get messy that way. So we make it work for us. If her issue is her hands getting gross, gloves could be an answer or using a small toy rather than fingers.
07/18/2012
Contributor: thetryal thetryal
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
Talk to her in a non-sexual situation and say that you would really enjoy it. Don't just spring it on her mid foreplay. If she resists, ask why and listen. Then help her overcome any anxiety or concerns she may have in a nice way. Don't ... more
thanks. i can see the germ issue. I would also be comfortable with a p sot vibe and may have to start looking for a decent beaded one
07/18/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Kindred and ToyTimeTim are great contributors to touch base with in this area.

My advice: Latex/Rubber gloves.
07/19/2012
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
I second the gloves idea, and if that's too icky for her try to get a prostate massaging toy you use exclusively for anal? Open communication is the key though.
07/19/2012
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
I agree with everything that has been said so far. Definitely discuss it with your wife before any sexual encounter. This is not something you want to spring on her in the moment, especially if you think she will have reservations.

I would suggest researching and reading up a bit to learn more about prostate stimulation first. You may want to also play with yourself first, whether it be your own finger or an anal safe toy to explore your own body. You may ultimately decide that prostate play is not for you, in which case why bother even involving your wife.

With any anal play, the general rule is to know your body in regards to bowel movements. Plan beforehand in terms of timing and avoiding certain types of foods that may not be the most agreeable. You may even consider an anal douche to really clean yourself if your wife is that hesitant. I discuss it a little in a review I did (link).

You may want to also take a shower beforehand to clean yourself externally. While it won't do anything for you internally, it may still help to alleviate some of your wife's concerns. Consider playing in the shower so that she can clean herself quickly in the running water if she feels the need. You would probably want to use a silicone based lube in the shower.

Hope that helps.
07/19/2012
Contributor: Roz W Roz W
Sometimes a toy (with a condom on it) can be less "icky" than a finger. (And yes, always a gloved finger!) I started on my partner with a small flared-base dildo, and now we're comfortable with a larger range of things.

Is your wife comfortable with giving handjobs or oral? If it's possible for anal (on you) to be a "boost" to things you already enjoy together, that could be helpful.
07/19/2012
Contributor: clockwork451 clockwork451
I would say just bring it up. Make sure that you can answer any questions that she might have.
07/21/2012