The New Intimacy

Saying "I love you"

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Contributor: Arlinnae Arlinnae
How long does it take you into a relationship to say the big words?
How often do you tell your partner you love them?
Does it change your relationship when you hear it for the first time?

It still makes my insides melt each time I hear it
12/23/2012
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Contributor: js250 js250
It depended on the relationship....

I said it after I felt it--which was after a while, but it needed to be real in order to say it.
12/23/2012
Contributor: kdlt kdlt
I rarely believe it if a partner says it within one or two months if I haven't known them for 12+ months prior to dating; it just feels too soon to know that it's for real. I generally don't say it til after four months and I only say it if I definitely feel it.

After it's said once, I generally say it daily, if not multiple times a day. I like to be sure to say it at the end of any online convo or phone call.
12/23/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I was in a horrible marriage, had relationships with fuckwits, and I obviously don't know what love is. C would be considered an incredibly lucky catch for any woman ... mature, responsible, playful, intellectual, respectful, randy as hell ... it's been only three months, and I'm half-convinced that I'm half in love with him. But I cannot say those words yet because I'm still unsure of my own heart and and apparent lack of common sense.

I'm staying my hand on saying it, so I don't know when or if it will happen.
12/23/2012
Contributor: daydreamer12 daydreamer12
Quote:
Originally posted by kdlt
I rarely believe it if a partner says it within one or two months if I haven't known them for 12+ months prior to dating; it just feels too soon to know that it's for real. I generally don't say it til after four months and I only say it ... more
same
12/23/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Arlinnae
How long does it take you into a relationship to say the big words?
How often do you tell your partner you love them?
Does it change your relationship when you hear it for the first time?

It still makes my insides melt each time I hear it
I don't know how to answer that. The only really serious relationship I have had that was actually an adult one began 6 years ago with my lovie (so I was VERY young. Only 22 now) and we said I love you after 3 months. And before him was just teenage "love," but 2 relationships were pretty serious to me, just not to my boyfriends at the time. Lol. They always said I love you really close to the beginning. So it'd all depend on why, who, and what not. I wouldn't say it unless I thought I meant it, and my partner and I still say it, after 6 years, but we actually do mean it.

Did it change our relationship? Well, no because we'd spent every waking moment together so it was coming and I mean, we grew closer afterwards overtime and built stronger bonds and such but I don't think there's an immediate change when those words are spoken. Maybe a change when you first realize you love someone.
12/24/2012