unfufilling sex

Contributor: arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
Related to: 
Has anyone EVER been in a relaionship with someone who you ABSOLUTELY, without any question or doubt, loved the other but found the sex unfufilling? I mean even after many attemps to instruct your partner, he or she just "didn't get the hang of it"? If so, can you post a comment? I am especially interested if you discussed it with your partner and what happened in the relationship? Are you still together, or did the break up have anything to do with lousy sex? I am not specifically referring to hetero couples, lesbian couples, or gay male couples--any aplicable couples would be of interest to me. Thank you all so very, very much.,
10/12/2011
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Contributor: Ghost Ghost
I often feel this way about my current relationship. I try to make it exciting but it seems like no matter what either of us does, I'm just not really sexually attracted to my husband most of the time. I usually do things for his sake, but I prefer masturbation.
10/13/2011
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
This would be about where I started looking for things to add to our sex life. An online friend showed me fetlife.com and made me sign up. After that there was no going back. I was hooked and showed it to my husband who was a little standoffish at first about it but then warmed up to the idea of starting a Dominant/submissive relationship.

Now about a year and a half later we have our own in-home playroom/dungeon and our sex life is on fire.

I know bdsm doesn't work for everyone, but it's what worked for us.
10/13/2011
Contributor: LQ LQ
I stayed in a marriage where the sex was non-existent for a couple years. Seriously could probably count the occasions on one hand. (And I'm normally very sexual.) It was totally my issue. He was willing & able, but just didn't do it for me. At the time I was sick of relationships with amazing sex but emotionally/mentally un-fulfilling. And I just swung too far the other way & went with the nice guy. Other than the sex he was great, so I just told myself it wasn't that important. I grew up in a pretty conservative family sex-wise, so I guess I had internalized this idea that sex shouldn't be a deciding factor in a relationship. *Insert long story* In the end, though, I realized that was just one aspect of the relationship where I was suppressing my own needs & also not being fair to the guy. So, I ended the relationship.
10/13/2011
Contributor: DeliciousDrip DeliciousDrip
I'm currently in this situation... && quit frankly i'm on the verge of ending it because i feel like sex plays a big role in my life! && i don't want to end up cheating over this bull.
10/13/2011
Contributor: LQ LQ
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousDrip
I'm currently in this situation... && quit frankly i'm on the verge of ending it because i feel like sex plays a big role in my life! && i don't want to end up cheating over this bull.
I know the feeling about the cheating potential. I was pretty active sexually before the relationship I mentioned. I basically stopped going out & cut off contact with certain friends so the temptation wouldn't be there. Now I look at that and go "WTF was I thinking?" I guess I have learned to listen to my needs a bit better now. So, that's my unsolicited advice... just do what is best for you.
10/13/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
My first marriage was like this, once we quit being intimate and lost that feeling of closeness sex brings he was just another friend. I told him I needed more in our relationship but he would not help work on it, so after two years of trying to make nothing work, I found someone else and ended my marriage.
10/13/2011
Contributor: arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
These are interesting responses. Mostly sad, though. How would you tell your husband/SO that he does nothing for you? Its a big ego thing for guys.
11/24/2011
Contributor: HomuHomu HomuHomu
Actually, my husband doesn't want to have sex nearly as much as I do. :O I always find myself getting rejected by him instead, lol.
11/26/2011
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by arewehavingfun?
These are interesting responses. Mostly sad, though. How would you tell your husband/SO that he does nothing for you? Its a big ego thing for guys.
I notice that a lot of these responses are good, but slightly disheartening.
11/26/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I am very fortunate to not have this issue in my current long term relationship.

I did date a young man many years ago, whom I think I may have loved. He was a nice guy and really sensual, but clueless in the "Pleasing a Women" department. He not only didn't know how to perform oral sex, he didn't even try. He made insinuations that it was "icky." Yeah, he was dropped quickly.

I'm a very sexual person and I need good sex in my relationships, or it isn't worth the trouble.

I hope for the sake of the wife he has now (he's married with kids, as am I) that he learned the Ways of Love.
11/26/2011