Beaded probe - anal probe by Cal Exotics - review by AngelvMaynard

The Beaded probe by California Exotic is meant for graduated anal beaded pleasure, but I found it was near impossible to get it to provide any pleasure! It's meant for anal use, but I did also try it in the vagina to see if perhaps it might be better suited to do some good there. No such luck I'm afraid. I usually try to find some good in the toys I review even if they aren't for me, but I really can't find anything pleasurable to say about this toy.

The probe is one solid cut piece of TPE (in the Thermoplastic rubber group). The classification name is absolutely applicable. This thing feels like plastic with a rubbery flexibility. Yuck! The first thing you notice when you take it out of the package is the plastic/rubber drag the material has. I was honestly concerned about using it upon first feel.

It has a strong smell to it when you put it under your nose. I don't tend to taste my anal toys, so I can't give you a "tastometer" on this one.

Because it is TPE however, it is hypoallergenic and phthalate free. No solvents or latex are used in the production process, so it's good for people with chemical allergies and other sensitivities. It is somewhat of a porous material, so if you are planning to share, have some condoms ready. Even if you are not sharing, this toy might feel better with a condom over it.

It's also a lint magnet! I barely got it out of the package and lint was jumping on it like one of those Swiffer commercials! Make sure to pay attention to lint, dirt or anything else that might be on it before you play.

The shape of the probe reminds me a bit of a large oversized key. The entire toy is 7 1/2 inches long, with 5 1/2 inches of that being insertable. There are 5 beads that start small (about the width of a ring finger) and graduate up in size. On one side the beads are exposed and you can feel the bumps where it crevices between each bead. On the other side of the probe, the beads are attached together with a strip of the same TPE material, but it joins the beads so that the transition from one bead to the next is a more shallow crevice and smoother glide.

I cannot tell you how each bead feels because neither in my vagina or in the anal play was I able to get the probe beyond 3 1/2 beads. And while I would like to say that it's because I'm just that tight and small, the truth is the material and design, no matter how firm I applied pressure, would not go any further for me without fear of hurting myself.

I do not usually like silicone based lubes, and rarely have any because I have so many silicone toys. However, because this material is safe with silicone and water based lubricants, my suggestion is to use this with a thicker silicone based lube. This toy requires LOTS of lubrication to feel comfortable.

The pull ring is a nice size, 2 inches, and easily held. As far as the shape and size of the toy, I think this could be a wonderful design for a probe. The aesthetics of it are nice, and the beads are of a proportionate size that with the right material this could have been so much fun to use. But, the drag and roughness of the material just made it impossible to enjoy, and I promise you I did try!

You can use warm soapy water or a toy cleaner to wash your toy. It does not come with a storage bag of any kind, and because it does attract so much lint and dirt, I would suggest finding a place to store this in a drawer or box with other similar materials to cut down on the accumulation.

I tried using this toy twice, and both times I washed it after with toy cleaner and could never get it as clean as I liked. I had to use soap and water to get it really clean.

The toy came in a clear package with the probe exposed. It was very simple packaging, but it is labeled "Basic Essentials" so I don't think they are going for presentation here as much as they are functionality. It's pretty obvious what's inside. Traveling with your probe will get you a "I know what this is" look if you happen to get a bag search at the airport.

No instructions came with the toy. I say this all the time, some toys are self explanatory, but it would be nice to have cleaning instructions and material information.

I tried this toy twice. I really wanted to like it, but at the end of both my times using it, I just couldn't find any pleasure in it.

I started by using the Beaded probe in my vagina first. I knew after taking it out of the box it was going to require a lot of lubrication, so lube it up I did! Although it feels fairly flexible in your hand, it doesn't feel like it has any give while inserting it. It gives from side to side but not so much up and down. I moved it and inserted several different ways, holding the ring from different angles to no avail.

The first thing I noticed was that there is a seam in the material on the side that follows down to the tip and back up. These are mass produced and I'm sure cut from a single mold so the seam on the tip of my probe was raised quite a bit from being cut. This seam on the tip made the probe feel like I was putting a sharpened pencil in my vagina. Not good! This is really not good in the anal area either! That point of entry always needs a nice start, pencil points do not a good anal entry make!

I abandoned the vaginal entry all together. I tried the toy again for anal play and ran into a second hurdle. With much lubrication and a very slow start, I managed to get the beads in. However, no matter how much pressure I applied and how firm I was, I could not get it in further than the 3 first beads. This was again, a problem with flexibility in the toy. There wasn't enough give and the toy has so much drag that it wasn't going anywhere. I abandoned this effort after trying it several times and from several angles.