Chain Gang Fail!

Just take my word for it...these suck and not in a good way. These anal beads are all sorts of fail with no redeeming qualities.
Published:
Pros
They sound nice when clanged together?
Cons
EVERYTHING: length of cord, porous nylon cord, spacing of balls, sliding of balls, size of balls....
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

My favorite set of anal beads was my very first one. They were bought here on Eden Fantasys and were one of the very first things I ever tried. The Thai beads are no longer available on Eden. I liked them because they were short and never caused any mess because of this. I love anal beads, but having to worry about messes ruins the moment even if playing solo. I've never had a horrible experience, but I don't want to be anticipating one. I thought that this set of beads might be closer to what I had before, but I was totally wrong. These are nothing like my other Thai beads. I don't recommend these to anyone! Not even the beginner.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • No one
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal

Material / Texture

The material of the balls is a plastic called acrylic crystalline. It is a good material for anal play since it is non-porous, latex and phthalate free. It is also hypo-allergenic and food-grade material. So the manufacturer was doing their homework on the material for the balls but I think he fell asleep at some point because the cord is made of nylon. Yes, nylon! The fabric material is horrible for going in the anal cavity. It's like wadding up toilet paper and fishing for whatever you can find. Plus, it is hard to keep clean. I would imagine that if you don't do douches like I do before anal play, you could also stain the stark white string. Gross! The good thing is that it does seem very sturdy and I actually would trust the durability of a fabric cord over a rubber connector, but it just isn't hygienic.
    • No odor
    • Porous

Design / Shape / Size

Four acrylic beads are attached to the nylon cord. The cord is over a foot long at just about 13.5". There is a ring at the end for retrieval. The four beads are not secure and slide up and down the cord only stopped by tied knots. The bead closest to the ring doesn't have a knot and just goes rogue where ever it wants to go. The beads are very spaced out and are very small. Each one is the same size of about 5/8" in diameter. This is tiny.They are about the size of red grapes.

These don't even really look like anal beads. It looks like part of those hanging bead doors from the 70's or those balls on the hair ties from the 80's...both hideous by the way. I still wouldn't leave these lying around especially if you have pets of kids. It would cause a potentially dangerous situation if wrapped around a neck or a bead was swallowed.

Performance

Utter failure. Just take my word for it. I stopped using these before I was even half way. The first bead is even hard to get in because of the knotted nylon end. It pokes and is uncomfortable. I kept waiting to be pinched and my delicate insides being sucked in between the hole of the bead and the nylon cord while sliding. The small size also makes it so that you really have no help from the sphincter muscles. Once in the first bead couldn't really be felt in size, but I felt a sharp pain, probably from the singed end of the nylon cord. The second bead was just as difficult and this is where I stopped. There was no way I wanted a foot of nylon cord inside me. At least pulling them out was easy. It was more fun to clank the beads together are hear the cool sounds it made!
    • Fail
    • Not very discreet
    • Not-comfortable

Care and Maintenance

In all honesty if you decide to use these, make them a one times use. Clean and care for them by throwing them out like I did. It would be un-hygienic to keep these I can't think of a way to sterilize them without destroying the plastic. If you insist on using these you can use any kind of lube.
    • Hard to clean

Packaging

The packaging is the part part. The naked model is decently attractive and I found her more appealing than the product. The item is made in China and apparently designed and printed there too because the English isn't even correct.
    • Minimal
    • Recyclable
Follow-up commentary
After trying this utter fail of a product and throwing them out, I had decided against trying the larger size. It really makes me wonder if these are used as a one time thing in porns. I see this type often and it grosses me out to think any one would use these more than once. I don't recommend them for anything more than a gag gift and will never re-visit a similar item of the same design. Sometimes, your eyes can really tell you all you need to know.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    lol thanks
  • Contributor: pirkit
    These look awful! Thanks for the review!
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