Cleaner Missile - anal kit by Cal Exotics - review by DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO

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This Ain't a Turkey Baster, Y'all...

A smooth, gentle anal douche for people who enjoy anal play. Possibly a fun toy for those into scat play. The awkward shape makes this difficult to use solo and it can not be sterilized.
Smooth, comfortable material and gentle spray.
Awkward shape and unable to sterilize.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
The Cleaner Missile by Cal Exotics is a solid black PVC butt douche, reminiscent of a turkey baster, yet quite a bit more flexible. It's very smooth, which helps ease it into the anus. I don't know if there is an odor or taste, I have the flu right now and am unable to use either of those senses. It is about 9" long, 4 3/4" of that being insertable and 1 1/2" in diameter at the widest point for insertion. The material collapses onto itself when pressure is applied, so it won't feel that wide.

The nozzle of this butt douche has three small holes at the tip. The way they are positioned reminds me of the finger holes in a bowling ball. The nozzle is glued to the bulb. This is a major concern for me so far as cleaning goes. The material is porous, there is no way to use a condom with it for it's intended use, and you can't take it apart to clean it thoroughly. That combined with the mechanics of how you use the toy, by squeezing the bulb and sucking water into it, it's very possible to suction fecal matter into it. The only way to clean it is by suctioning your cleaning solution into it and squeezing it out repeatedly, but there is no way to fully clean or rinse the product out. This is definitely not a product to share with anyone, and I don't even think I feel comfortable using it a second time due to this. If you're going to use it more than once I would recommend using a 10% bleach solution with hot water to clean it.

I did a bit of research on enemas and douching before I used this because I didn't want to hurt myself. Everything I read said to use water that was as close to body temperature as possible. Too hot or too cold could cause cramping and discomfort. You also want to make sure the water is sterilized. You can do this by boiling it and letting it cool. As it cools you can test the temperature on a sensitive area like the inside of your wrist. Once the water is a comfortable temperature you squeeze the bulb and stick the nozzle into the water, then suck it into the douche. It will take two or three suctions to fill it up. You'll have to remove the nozzle from the water, hold it upright in your hand and squeeze the bulb again slowly to keep the water inside. Then put the nozzle back into the water and suction again.

Once you've filled the douche up to your liking (it will hold about 6 oz of water from what I can tell), head to the bathroom. This part could get messy and you'll want to be somewhere close to a toilet. The size of this prevents you from being able to use it while you're sitting on the toilet. The easiest way I found to use it was lying down in the tub. The angle of the tub helped me relax against it, while still propping me up to get an ok angle for insertion. Any time you're going to put things inside of your anus you want to be relaxed to prevent tearing and injury. Also be sure to use plenty of lube on the toy and your anus. You can never use too much lube for anal play.

Because of the flexibility of this material and the awkward shape of the douche I needed two hands to insert it. Trying to use one hand resulted in it nearly slipping into my vagina a few times. Once inserted you just squeeze and allow the water to fill you up. You probably won't be able to get all the water out with one squeeze, so you can remove it, hold it upright and open your hand to allow the air to flow back into the douche. Once it's full again you can re-insert and squeeze until it's empty if you like. Once that's taken care of you just wait. You will almost immediately feel the need to have a bowel movement. You should be able to hold it long enough to make it to a toilet, and even longer if you like.

If you're into scat play or anal play this could be a great product for you. I honestly think it would be easier to use if a partner inserted it for you, but that's not something I'm comfortable with for myself. If you enjoy anal play but are concerned about fecal matter popping up you could use this a few hours prior. You do want to wait a bit before any anal play to allow your body to re-lubricate.
As much as I love my husband, he doesn't always make wise choices. I saw this in my assignment cart and said 'Do you want me to accept this?' and he said "Sure, it's free, why not?". The next few days were spent going back and forth about who would use it. He backed out at the last minute. We were both a little nervous, being beginners to anal and all. The size seemed large. It turned out not to be an issue though. My main concern with this was the cleaning issue.

Also, with all that lube down there it's too easy for this to slip into the vagina, even while using both hands to insert. I doubt I will be using this product again.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Cleaner Missile tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • During scat play
    • People who enjoy anal play/scat play
    • Prior to anal play
    • Relaxation/alone time
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bathroom
    • Bathtub
    • Shower
  • ......
    Very nice review. Thanks for sharing your research.
  • Naughty Student
    Sounds like a good idea for a product, it's a shame it isn't made of a sterilizable material though. Thanks for the review.
    Thanks. I kept wishing I had more experience with this sort of thing. I am not all that into this sort of thing, so I have no idea what someone looking to buy this product would want to know. So, I focused on what I was concerned about with it and that was using it safely.
  • MuffysPinguLove
    I received the Cleaner Torpedo recently, which is just like this except the insert-able portion is completely straight. I don't really have much experience with these kinds of things either, so writing the review has been a little harder than usual as I don't know exactly what needs to be included. That being said I think you did a wonderful job on reviewing this product Smile
  • SadoMas
  • damnbul12
    Thank you for the review.
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