Universal sex swing stand by Topco Sales - review by Dame Demi

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Universal sex swing stand review

The Universal Sex Swing Stand has been on my list of must have items for a long time now because I wanted to enjoy the pleasures of a sex swing without having to drill holes in my ceiling.
Sturdy construction, stable design, fairly easy assembly, all tools included
Very large, somewhat heavy and unwieldy during assembly, large box of which to dispose
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
The Universal Sex Swing Stand has been on my list of must have items for a long time now because I wanted to enjoy the pleasures of a sex swing without having to drill holes in my ceiling or walls.  I needed something able to bear my weight and that of my husband. With a weight limit of up to 400 pounds, this product was perfect.

Let me begin by recommending you possess two things before ordering this product: a lot of room and a sense of humor. This stand is very large when assembled and will fill up a good portion of a normal-sized bedroom. At its base, the stand takes up an area of about five by six and a half feet, and it stands almost seven feet tall. Trust me, this is larger than it sounds.

The first problem I encountered with this product was simply a matter of packaging. Be warned; you will be stuck with a four foot long box that says “Universal Sex Swing Stand” in large letters. I’m fairly hard to embarrass, but the idea of putting such a box out for the trash haulers fazed even me.

The second challenge with the stand was in assembling it. Since I was the one reviewing the product, I decided I was going to attempt to assemble it myself, without my husband’s aid. The assembly instructions that come with the product are skimpy and fairly worthless; fortunately, when you divide the pieces and begin the process, the assembly is fairly intuitive.

The product comes with all the tools necessary for assembly, and they were easy to use, even for me.  What was not quite as easy to deal with was the growing size of the piece as it got closer and closer to being assembled. The pieces are very large and unwieldy, and at five foot three inches tall, I was having a heck of a time maneuvering them around the bedroom. I almost took out a mirror, the TV screen, and the ceiling fan several times. I finally had to give in and ask for hubby’s help with the final stage of assembly, but he and I were able to get it together quite easily.

The stand, as previously noted, is very large but sturdy and surprisingly lightweight when assembled.  I tested it with the Pleasure Swing and was able to attach the swing in ten seconds flat with no tools required. The stand stood up to my weight and vigorous swinging and spinning maneuvers. It was sturdy and stable and didn’t rock or shake even with the most vigorous movement.

All in all, if you want to own a sex swing without relying on a hook drilled in your ceiling to hold you up, I highly recommend the Universal Sex Swing Stand.  
Follow-up commentary
I would just like to stress that my review was of the Sex Swing STAND, and didn’t focus on the merits of the sex swing itself.  After repeated use, the stand has held up remarkably well, and is still sturdy and stable.

The one critique I would add is that two sides of the stand have horizontal support beams (definitely necessary for stability) that can get in the way of free movement at times.  My husband has ‘konked’ himself on these beams on more than one occasion.
Other than that and it’s outrageous size, I’ve found the Universal Sex Swing Stand to be a wonderful alternative to trying to mount a swing from your ceiling. 
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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  • Airlia
    It was great to know how to assemble it and the hilarity that ensued, but what about when both of you used it? Is it uncomfortable? Does it dig in places? Do you have to assemble and take it apart each time you want to use it?
  • I was attempting to review the stand itself and not the swing, which was admittededly a little difficult.  The swing can dig in in places, but it is well-padded so I haven't found that much of an issue.  I actually find it quite comfortable, especially since I have a bad back--it takes the strain out of a lot of positions.  We've personally had the stand and swing combination assembled in the front of our bedroom from the start--our own personal jungle gym!  However, be warned that this is NOT discreet or easy to get around--the thing is a monster and will take  up a large portion of most normal rooms.  I've considered disassembling it and reassembling it for use, and don't think that would be too difficult, though it would likely require at least two people for both phases.  The stand itself has stood up well to two-person use, supporting our combined weight and various vigorous swinging-bouncing motions.  All in all, I recommend this for those who have some privacy, since it does not fold or easily disassemble entirely for storage.  Though it CAN be taken apart, it is more likely to remain a permanent fixture in your play area. 
  • This sounds like a great product, but would be difficult if you dont have much spare room.  It seems like it has the durability and stability I would be looking for in this type of swing.  I'm glad to see there is something out there that doesnt have to attach to the ceiling
  • Dame Demi
    Yes, Wes, definitely  make sure you've got the room if you're going to invest in this.  It's huge!
  • how much can it hold  up to ,
  • Dame Demi
    JZ, up to 400 lbs.  Hope this helps!
  • West Coastin'
    I can just picture the box sticking out of the trash can for all the world to see - too funny.  In lieu of a swing, I had our bed built so that it is the height of my waist so that when my wife lays on the corner or on the side with feet against the wall, her and I are lined up perfect.  No swinging action, but easy access with less stress on body
  • Dame Demi
    West Coastin', it's too big, even for most trash cans.  I somehow jammed it back into the original shipping box, taped it shut again, and drug it to the corner under cover of night... ;)  Great idea with the bed, though!  Believe it or not, I actually use the swing for non-sexual purposes, too.  I like to sit in it when I'm on a long phone call; I have a bad disc in my back, and I find this relieves some of the pressure on it.  Thanks for the comment!
  • PassionQT
    Hubby likes this, but the fact that it is so large is an issue. We don't have much extra space and it's not like we can hide it!
  • PassionQT
    Does it fold flat so it could be leaned against a wall or stored in a closet? Or is it once of those "once it's up, it's up" type things?
  • GoodMorningSunshine
    This would be fantastic if it could be easily put together/ taken apart or folded for storage. I could never have that thing just sitting around my house, there's not enough room!
  • ellejay
    Shame about the beam interference, but I'm glad it has mostly worked out for someone. Thanks for the review!
  • wetone123
    Nice review!I too would love to experiance the sex swing and stand. They are both on my wish list. Thanks for the info!
  • Lady Neshamah
    thanks for the review
  • SamsDelight
    I know this review was done a long time ago but thank you. I had planned on buying this to welcome home my husband but I think after your review I will surprise him with the box to build when he gets home. I am afraid at 5'2 I would take out the TV, Window and Mirror. Thank you for your humor and your wonderful description.
  • Bonesdance
    Great review; it made both me and my wife laugh out loud.
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