So, the first thing I'd like to tell is that the suction cup is so huge that I had to cut the balls off of this thing to get it into my SpareParts harness. And by doing so, I gained an inch and a quarter of the insertable length. The balls on this thing are massive. It also slips out really easily because of how slick it gets and that hurts because of how stiff it is. It's far too hard (both squeeze-wise and bend-wise). The overall sensation has been described by my partner as being f**ked by a large crayon. For me, a trans-man, this means that it does not pass the squeeze test and is very difficult to use as a pack and play dildo which is what I'm on the hunt for.

I will say that I like the way it looks, its good color, realistic shape and size, all that jazz. Maybe it's just a tad on the veiny side, so the veins protrude a little more than I care for, but it's still totally within the realm of realism. It also has a very strong plastic-y smell and taste and also holds body smell even after thorough washings.

The toy is made of a very safe material. PVC is an 8 on Eden's safety scale, which is fantastic and weirdly difficult to find, at least in my experience. Because of the material, you can use it with silicone or water-based lubes and any kind of condom. Compatibility is a big plus for me, so it has that going for it. It's super easy to take care of. You can use just warm water and antibacterial soap or a universal toy cleaner if you've got one.

All in all, it's not my favorite because no one deserves to have their cervix impaled while trying to have a good time.

I wanted to like it...I did try.

I've since tried out other dildos of lower and higher quality and they have all beaten this one by a mile and a half. That said, my partner and I ended up painting it blue and using it for a weird cosplay thing and for that it was completely amazing. It is no longer in my collection.