Realistic squirmy cock royal - sex toy by Doc Johnson - review by Knotty Thai

Not Very Realistic

The Realistic squirmy cock royal was disappointing. Maybe with a smaller remote and more variety and options in movement it could be better, but I just found it to be a let down.
pronounced head, good for G-spot stimulation, veined textured
too large, awkward corded remote, strong smell
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


While this vibrator may look realistic, that's as real as it gets. I found this toy to be too large, awkward to handle, and clean up was a hassle as well. The corded remote control was very "old-fashioned" and nearly as big as the toy itself. The suction cup didn't work very well and it kept coming undone. Also the squirming movements were not very strong and very unnatural.
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party

Material / Texture

The Realistic Squirmy Cock Royal is made from rubber and it has a very strong smell. Even after a good wash it still had a very strong odor and everything it touched also had that rubber smell afterward. The head is quite pronounced and I recommend a generous use of a silicone or water-based lube with this toy.

The texture is veined and does give a variety of sensations.

The shaft is not very flexible because of the mechanical components inside.
    • Rigid
    • Somewhat porous
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

The realistic Squirmy Cock Royal is a big toy indeed! I definitely do not recommend this for beginners, and I would be very cautious and use a lot of lube if you plan on using this for anal play - this is not for first timers.

The head is very pronounced and did give quite a shock to my G-spot, but I just found it to be too large to enjoy.

Also make sure you have a large space to store this toy cause it needs it; with the cord and the remote it can be very difficult to store.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The Realistic squirmy cock Royal features a corded remote with a multi-speed slide button. I found the movements to be very unnatural and not very strong either. Even at its highest settings it was very mechanical and not a smooth sensation. I found the cord to be awkward during play time and the remote was very cumbersome. Not to mention this is a loud robot-sounding toy.

The suction cup isn't very sturdy and kept sliding around.
    • Battery guzzler
    • Not discreet at all
    • Not enough variety

Care and Maintenance

This toy is rubber and does not clean well. For a longer and cleaner life span use a condom every time you play.

Also use a water or silicone-based lube with this toy.
    • High maintenance


My husband bought this toy for me and even though we had fun experimenting with it, overall it's not one of our favorites.
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This review was edited by
  • gone77 gone77
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Do you like this review?
  • Kiwi
    thanks for the review!
  • zandria
    Great review!
  • Travie
    Aww, too bad
  • LavenderSkies
    Thanks for the review!
  • GONE!
    Thanks for the honest review.
  • bayosgirl
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