King pin swirl - dildo by Doc Johnson - review by handprinted

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Oh How I Burn For This

This is certainly a dildo I would gift to any friend...with a large package of condoms. The sensations it created were spectacular, and certainly enough to overcome the drawbacks.
Knobby head.
Burning sensation, smell.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
I was extremely excited when I got this toy. The day it came in the mail had been awful, and the couple of weeks it's been since haven't gotten much better. The King pin has certainly been a nice pick-me-up and distraction from all of that... or at least it was eventually.

Upon first taking this toy out of its plastic packaging, the first thing I noticed was how soft the material was. It... wobbles. When you hold the base, and shake, it behaves a little like a bobble head. The second thing I noticed, particularly when I put it down for a moment, was the smell. The toy is described as "scented" but I don't know of anyone who would spray this on before going out for a night on the town. It's a rather harsh, abrasive, almost chemical-like smell that was not pleasant. I was personally able to ignore it when I used the toy, but I don't know if everyone could. Sil-a-Gel claims to be nontoxic and safe and as I didn't drop dead after using it, I'd have to agree. However, the first use of this toy had me running for the shower afterward. Starting at the very beginning of the test, I felt this warm sensation around my vagina. I assumed that some lube was in order (the toy isn't very large, but the material is a little sticky) so I removed the toy and tried again. Still, even with the lube, the warming turned into a burning. By the time I finished, I was almost simultaneously removing the toy and reaching for a towel and my shower shoes. By morning, everything was fine, but I was certain that I would never be using the toy again without a condom, and out of paranoia, probably not one of those über-thin ones either. [Editor's note: Sil-a-gel is still PVC, which is porous and may contain various chemicals; condom use is highly recommended.]

So why on earth did I give the Kingpin 4 stars, you ask?

Well, to be blunt, once I covered the toy with a condom, it felt great. And by "great," what I mean is really, really fucking amazing. The knobby little head rubs my G-spot just right, and the swirls tease the opening of my vagina perfectly. Honestly, I don't think I can put words to how this toy felt--which I realize is useless for a review, but perhaps will portray just how wonderful it was. The one and only downside to the experience, which has since been corrected, is that if you're in a hurry when you put the condom on, you'll inevitably trap some air inside, probably between the last swirl and where the toy flares large enough to hold the condom tight against it. The interesting noises this caused were amusing, but not particularly conducive to orgasm.

Finally, this toy is easy to clean with soap and water, but it does tend to attract dust and lint. Definitely keep it somewhere safe because it's not meant to be a fuzzy dildo.
One of the best sensations created by this toy was when I twisted it like a screw, both on the way in and on the way out, over and over (and over) again.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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  • Cock Wrangler
    Sil-a-gel makes all those claims, but I'm pretty sure it's just a marketing scam. It is PVC, just with some of the more dangerous ingredients removed (or that's the idea). Also, since it's so porous, condom use is a good idea for ongoing cleanliness. Nice review, though--love the title!
  • Victoria
    Funny and informative - great review!
  • titi
    Thanks for the review!
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