Not Exactly the Tongue I was Expecting.

Unfortunately, I was very disappointed by this artificial tongue. When I was younger, I always saw advertisements in my parents dirty magazines portraying these as the be all, do all to oral stimulation. For me, the mark was missed. I may eventually continue my quest to find a realistic pussy licking device, but this was definitely not it.
Published:
Pros
Life-Like, Long Enough for a Penetration Tease, Bullet Included.
Cons
Weak Vibration Against any Pressure, Noisy, Battery Drainer
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

The Mini Tongue by Lady Calston is specifically made for imitation of the jobs a tongue can do. Whether that be anal stimulation to simulate a rim job or clitoral stimulation to simulate a good pussy lick and fuck or just to stimulate your nipples, this tongue is supposed to do it. I think this toy is ideal for people who are looking for something different than an average dildo or vibrator. It is a truly unique concept great for all users, and while there are some people who have made replicas, it is well known that Lady Calston did it first. Since she isn't Waterproof, you can't take her to the shower with you. However, the licking action may just be what you are looking for that your partner isn't giving you. Maybe.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Be creative
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body

Material / Texture

The majority of this toy is plastic, including the bullet that comes with this tongue. There is a fairly large plastic control box for you to hold onto. The tongue portion is made from a material called TrueSkin, which, like its name, is supposed to simulate the actual touch of a human tongue when placed on any portion of your body. It is supposed to seem real. I have to admit, it does come very close, especially when lubrication is added. The wetness of the lubrication and the real feel of the trueskin material is about as close to the real thing as you will get out of a toy. It is squishy and very flexible, much like a human tongue. Also like a human tongue, there are small raised circles all over the tongue portion, I assume to simulate taste buds or the appearance of a tongue. They can not really be felt at all during stimulation. There is a slight smell to trueskin, but it is not really a bad smell. Just a smell. As always, please research your materials or look into reviews before using. Trueskin is very porous, which means it is not recommended for sharing and if shared, should be properly covered to avoid the spread of unwanted germs.
    • Flexible
    • Light odor
    • Porous

Design / Shape / Size

This is supposed to be the MINI version of the original tongue by Lady Calston. The original tongue is 4 inches long and 2 inches wide. This massive mini is 6 inches long with 2 1/2 inches insertable and a width of 2 inches at its widest insertable portion. More than half the toy is control panel, which I really don't care for. I do enjoy that the tongue is realistic in look and feel, but I wish the tongue were I little longer, for more insertable length. The thickness is much like a real tongue and even the length in the fact that it is average for most people's ability to stick out of their mouth when performing acts intended for this toy to stimulate. I do also like that the overall design of the toy has proven to be very ergonomic for me and probably for you as well. There are finger placings on the back(where the battery compartment is) to help you grip during play. It is not discreet at all, nor is it easy to hide, unless of course you are bogged down with toy storage like I am. However, if one of your children, parents, or your spouse ever found this... there would be no denying that it was something other than a novelty item.
    • Beginner
    • Ergonomic
    • Realistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

Ah, this is where the Lady Calston Mini Tongue completely lost me. I was not even remotely impressed with the way it performed. Okay, let's break this down. There are three settings for the tongue Low, Medium and High. The difference in the setting from low to high are mediocre if at all. The "vibrations" which are a small circular motion of the mechanisms inside are great, until they touch anything. As soon as any pressure is applied at all, you lose any intensity in vibration that you may have had. Whether this pressure be through insertion or just by allowing the tongue to act naturally and stimulate the clitoris. Even with loads of lube for a slick, friction free playtime, there was still a horrible halt in the ability of the toy to maintain it's fluttering tongue. The controls are easy to use and positioning comes relatively easy, but to get what you are looking for, you have to work harder than the toy does. The attachable bullet may have been a nice feature to the toy as well, if the attachment of it did not cause the tongues motion to become even weaker. Also, it may be a good idea to invest in rechargeable batteries with this one, because it knows how to eat up some batteries. As for the noise, do not use if there is anyone home that you don't want to hear this toy. It is loud. Not nearly as noisy as a few other toys I have, but for the lack of power this baby brings to the table, there is no reason at all that it is as loud as it is.
    • Battery guzzler
    • Easy to use
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

TrueSkin is very porous and precautions should be taken. It is suggested that you cover this with a condom when using because germs tend to hide easily in very porous materials. Also, your trueskin tongue is only compatible with water-based lubricants. Anything else may damage the trueskin material. It is always a good idea to clean very porous materials before and after use. You can do this with warm water and anti-bacterial soap. Keep in mind, however, that the Mini Tongue by Lady Calston is not waterproof, so if you have antibacterial wipes or a rinse-free spray toy cleaner, you may have an easier time cleaning this. Also, storing inside original packaging is an option, but make sure it is in a cool-dark place to keep it free from debris and other harmful materials.
    • High maintenance
Follow-up commentary
I just can't get this one to work. Maybe I need to donate it to someone with more sensitivity. I really hope someone can get some satisfaction from this, because it gets me nowhere. It's in my discard pile as of right now, deep in the depths of storage with my rubber toys I no longer use.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Redboxbaby
    "Vibrations are great until they touch anything."

    That did it. That is a total killer for me. For that kind of price, I would expect better.

    Thanks for the thorough review.
  • Contributor: Airekah
    Me too, I was totally bummed about this one because literally since I was a little girl sneaking my parents dirty magazines, I have wanted this toy and unfortunately, it just did not live up to all the hype that I gave it.
  • Contributor: dv8
    Which dirty magazines had these ads?
  • Contributor: Airekah
    Oh gosh I can't remember. I know they were the little ads in the back mixed in with the 800 sex lines and other industry related advertisements. I'm pretty positive they were dirty magazines.
  • Contributor: pinkcupcakes
    thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: SapphirexIce
    Well done review!
  • Contributor: wetone123
    Well executed review! I had thoughts of getting this toy before I read your review. Thanks for the info. You saved me alot of disappointment and money. Thank You!
  • Contributor: DeliciousSurprise
    Good review, well done.
  • Contributor: pinkzombie
    Thank you!
  • Contributor: Fuck it.
    That's disappointing.
  • Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura
    Good review. Too bad it sucks.
  • Contributor: Caprieclipse
    its a shame that it wasn't good! it looks exciting (although i prefer a red tongue) but sounds very disappointing!
  • Contributor: angel142stx
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: Nyx
    Sounds like your experience was similar to mine! Definitely something that's more exciting in concept, as opposed to execution.
  • Contributor: freshbananas
    Thanks for review and update!
  • Contributor: blonde1216
    great review!!!
  • Contributor: GONE!
    Wonderful review, thank you.
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