Oh Tenga, how you have fallen. I loved your little Eggs; wonderful little devices that felt absolutely amazing. I had bought this with the hopes of having a similar experience in a more durable package.

What the hell happened?

The Flip Air is supposed to be a masturbator; not all that difficult to use (it is for men, after all,) one is simply suppose to jam a penis into the one end until the desired messy result is achieved. It can only really be used that way, or at least that was the intent but it seems the theory has outpaced the practice because I find the thing useless. A $78 piece of useless, which is the very best sort of useless because it teaches me to never, ever buy anything from Tenga, EVER.

No, stop: I don't care what other products they offer; I'm not buying anything from them until they cut me a check for $78 for this thing.

For those who are a bit slow; this review is not favourable for the product.

The interior of the Flip Air is a silky soft silicone. Extremely soft. Too damn soft. I like a soft sleeve to plug my unit into, but I like to know that I am actually doing it, Tenga. Fucking a cloud is not my idea of fun.

Being silicon, water-based lube is required, which is no issue for me since that is all I use. The Flip does tend to use quite a bit of the stuff though, far more than my usual lineup; because there is so much surface area inside, it requires it for comfort. We're talking two to three times as much as normal. Even Fleshlights don't need this much... Happily, it makes up for this by being incredibly easy to clean; pop it open,w ash it out, stand open to dry, then close and seal and chuck the damn thing into the bin because it isn't worth owning.

Yes, I'm still bitter.

Uncomfortable to hold and a gigantic pain in the arse to manipulate while trying to get off without the thing sounding like a suction pump dealing with an unlucky turtle. For the uninitiated, there is a button on the side of the thing that needs to be depressed to let air out of the interior bladder. This allows for one to stuff a penis inside, then let the button go to allow for a (theoretically) snug and comfortable fit for the important business. It all falls apart in that if you try this and let the button go, it starts to slurp and gargle and burp and fart with every thrust.

This is not a symphony I enjoy, Tenga.

Oh, and the silicon lips at the entrance? Yeah, the join where them and the plastic case meet? That snags my pubes. I have a friend who, when the drink is on him, will tell a story about how he had unknowingly wronged his girlfriend, and them two being the sort who like tie-up play, was coaxed by her to be handcuffed and bound to a bedframe... at which point she let her displeasure be known by plucking out his pubes one by one with tweezers. I remember this story very well, for the obvious reason, but also because the fellow's face always has a weird look when he reaches that part, like he still wasn't sure if he had liked the experience or not.

I do not like the experience, Tenga.

It might perform as advertised, I have no bloody idea; see, the part where the button-and-air bit is supposed to come into play is some 3 and a half inches inside the toy. That means a 5-incher like myself is only get the head into the fun bit, the rest is only getting these lame floppy, flappy things that provide absolutely fuck all in the realms of stimulation. I have no idea what they were aiming at with that design, and why they thought it was worthy of tacking on an extra $40 to what it should actually be worth.

Easiest toy to clean and dry. This is the only point in the Flip Air's favour. Fold it open, rinse, wash, set open to dry, pack it back up, hooray. It is the greatest irony that the very easiest toy I have for cleaning and care is one I'll never goddamn use again.

The packaging is as simple and stark as the toy itself; absolutely minimalist, and that is fine because it really does work for it. It is also real advertising for what you get; much like a minimalist apartment you find very nearly nothing on the inside.

Holy hell... 'Flip Air' they were ADVERTISING that this toy is like trying to have sex with a cloud of mist. Romantic and poetic as that might sound, the only result is frustration, disenchantment and a damp mess in one's trousers.

If you haven't been following what I've been on about, I am very disappointed in Tenga's offering. This item is only worth half of what I paid for it, if that. All of the design 'features' and 'innovations' are all marsh gas. They don't do anything beneficial, just make things more complicated, irritating and frustrating, not to mention disturbingly noisy.