El toro enhancer - cock ring by Cal Exotics - review by Champagne and Benzedrine (Roland Hulme)

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Grab the Bull by the Horns!

In many ways, El Toro lives up to the name. It's unwieldy, uncooperative and painful to get on the wrong side of. It's a very promising idea, but just not carried out well enough to really work. I'd recommend choosing a simpler product instead.
Published:
Pros:
It's got everything but the kitchen sink: Cock ring, beads, vibrator and horns.
Cons:
It's difficult to get on, it reduces amount of the penis that can be inserted.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

Manufactured by California Exotics, the El Toro 'enhances' the wearer's penis in much the same way a set of longhorn tusks 'enhances' the hood of your Cadillac. It's an incredibly elaborate toy made of transparent TPR, which is meant to be put on the shaft of your cock to strengthen an erection, increase girth and provide all sorts of sensory 'enhancements' to the recipient.

I grew up on a farm, so I've been trained to be wary of bulls - and El Toro is no exception. The length of it is a sort of concertina of clear plastic, that's meant to stretch out over your erection like a Chinese finger trap. Hard, metal ball-bearings are embedded in the plastic, to offer increased sensation. At the glans end of the enhancer, there's a ring that resembles a Venus fly-trap. That's meant to cling to the base of your glans. At the root of El Toro is a beautifully molded plastic bull, whose head is hollow (to accept a bullet vibrator) and who's soft horns are perfectly positioned to stimulate a woman's clit in missionary style sex.

Material / Texture

El Toro is made from very stretchy TPR, which means it can stretch pretty far. That being said, it's taut enough to grip a modestly-sized erection firmly.

Embedded in the plastic of El Toro are a couple of metal ball-bearings. They won't pop out (they're sealed in) but do look pretty intimidating - like a cybernetic penile enhancement.

The fact that El Toro is made from TPR means you can't sterilize it, so it's not really designed for sharing. It also means you can't used oil-based lube on it.

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

El Toro was perhaps the most intimidating thing I've ever tried to insert my penis into - and that includes my first girlfriend's mouth, when she wore a retainer. Unfortunately, El Toro compounded the issue by being a lot less enthusiastic than she was.

For a start, don't even think of trying to put El Toro onto a flaccid penis. Some cock rings let you do this - and really help when you're getting an erection. El Toro is incredibly uncooperative, though.

First off, you HAVE TO slather your erection in lube first, otherwise it won't stretch out as intended. Secondly, if you've got a foreskin (as I have) be prepared to have it entirely tangled up in the plastic meshing on El Toro when you try to remove it. It took five minutes to extricate myself from the Bull the first time I made a failed attempt to wear it.

If you're hard and lubricated, El Toro goes on fairly neatly. Like a concertina, or plastic slinky, the mesh stretches out to grip three or four inches of shaft. The plastic Venus Fly Trap at the glans end snugly grips the mushroom-head of the cock, while the Bull sits on top of the shaft at the other end.

Except not all the way down at the other end. In fact, my 'Bull' ended up straddling my cock about two inches away from the base of my cock - essentially reducing the 'operational' length of it by two or three inches.

It's also pretty tight to get on if you're got a larger-than-average penis. I get frustrated when cock rings are loose, but this product had the opposite problem.

Functions / Performance / Controls

El Toro comes with a removable metal vibrating bullet, which can be slid into the empty space between El Toro's ears (my wife wonders if there's a similar product for putting in the empty space between my ears.)

Running off watch batteries, the bullet has a single speed setting and is switched on by a black button at one end. The vibrations are pretty strong, but not overwhelming. What IS overwhelming is the noise. It buzzes and rattles like a 1971 Volkswagen Beetle. I've tried various bullets before and this HAS to be the loudest - yet unfortunately that increase in volume doesn't correspond to a similar increase in power.

Care and Maintenance

El Toro comes in a neat cardboard box which is perfect for storing it in.

After use, you can wash El Toro with soap and water - but you can't boil it. That means it's not entirely sterilizable and you shouldn't share it with anybody you're not fluid-bonded with.

Packaging

As is normal for California Exotics, El Toro came in a cool cardboard box. Even better, it was supplied with spare watch batteries, for when the bullet eventually dies.

Personal comments

I had some real zingers for the title of this review and personally I'm upset that I didn't get to use them all - so in 'Bonus Features' style, here they are:

Is El Toro a load of Bull?
Running with the Bulls
The Bionic Penis

Experience

The first time I tried to ride 'El Toro' it nearly cost me my foreskin. I was trying to mount the enhancer on a half-erect penis and when that didn't work, El Toro attached itself to more foreskin and it took five minutes to disentangle.

This, as you can imagine, put a crink in things.

But when I approached the bull a second time, it was on my terms: I had a raging erection and slathered myself with water-based lube, which allowed me to squeeze myself into El Toro and arrange it more-or-less as advertised on the box.

One immediate drawback was the length. The 'bull' above the shaft, in front of my balls. That meant the 'operational length' of my cock was reduced by a good two or three inches. When I started making love to my wife, I simply couldn't get inside her very deeply, which was unsatisfying for both of us.

She liked the increase in width and the metal beads, but found the reduction in depth frustrating - and while she liked the clitoral stimulation from the vibrating bullet, it was distracting that it was so LOUD. We were worried about waking the downstairs neighbor. I mean, when we have sex we're normally worried about waking the downstairs neighbor, but it's less embarrassing when it's because of cries of 'Oh God!' and 'Fuck me harder!' and 'I'm coming!' rather than a loud, rattling buzz.

My wife and I eventually pulled it off and had sex bareback. El Toro seemed like a promising idea, but simply wasn't right for me.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Fun Lover
    The humor was great for me but sounds' like it wasn't for you. I think I will stick to watching the bull riding instead of trying it.
  • Twist Shimmy
    You are a brave, brave man. That picture is truly terrifying; "Bionic Penis," indeed! I'm sorry that things went so poorly during your testing, but thank you for a review that lets us laugh at your pain without feeling bad about it.

    Have you considered reclaiming it as art and sliding it over a narrow vase, perhaps? It would make quite a conversation piece!
  • ArmyWife Kira
    This does look a little scary! Not sure I could get past that!
  • LicentiouslyYours
    Loved this review, but this is really one of the more frightening toys I've seen! Smile
  • SexySkye
    Freakin hilarious! This review definitely gave me a chuckle but I'm sorry it was at your expense! Thank you for warning us about this one. My hub and I will definitely stay away from it!
  • Sammi
    Wow! Smile This is quite the toy.
  • ~LaUr3n~
    What do you consider moderately sized erection. thats a relative term really lol.
  • Miss Cinnamon
    It sounds painful Sad face Fortunately, we have your sense of humor to tide us through.
  • El-Jaro
    "moderate" is usually a guy's way of saying "mine".

    AWESOME review!
  • Sephymuffins
    HAHAHA!

    Thank god for sense of humor, huh? Funny review, sorry this ring didn't work out too well for you. It seems it honestly wouldn't work out for anyone, though.
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