I have set out on a mission to find the perfect masturbation sleeve for a pre-op transguy. After Looking at several different options I decided The Jelly Climaxer would be a good starting point for several reasons. I liked the idea of the built in bullet, and figured the pump would help keep me in the sleeve during use. Suction and vibration, how can you go wrong?

Upon opening the shipping box and pulling out the Jelly Climaxer box I couldn’t help but laugh. Emblazoned on the packaging was the standard failed porn star complete with terrible boob job and cheesy promises of orgasmic fulfillment; “I’m gonna pump you up with my soft vibrating pink jelly pussy!” California Exotic Novelties needs new editors, come on guys, that’s not exactly erection inspiring. The back of the box has some simple instructions for the self explanatory toy. “Use hand pump to create the vacuum needed for maximum enlargement of your penis. The easy-to-use purge valve will regulate your comfort level,” and the standard don’t get the batteries wet warning. Common sense instructions duly noted, I opened the box. The toy comes wrapped in some sort of shrink wrap with a sticker that says “JELLY” in the creepy dripping blood font you see around Halloween. I know packaging is far from the most important features but there’s something to be said for the value of visually pleasing presentation.

After opening the box and the shrink wrap I was immediately surprised by the smell, or lack thereof. Generally speaking toys that are a “jelly” material have a fairly strong unpleasant scent to them, this one does not. No funky smells, that’s cool, how about the texture? The Jelly Climaxer is made of a very soft and pliable material that can be squeezed, squished, and stretched a bit on the inside. The outside of the toy has some strange texture but I can’t figure out what it’s supposed to imitate. The inside is even more pliable and velvety smooth with a little bit of lube, without it it’s a bit sticky. This toy is definitely a lint magnet, best cleaned with a bit of soap and water and stored somewhere other than a sock drawer. It should also be mentioned that this toy is best not shared since the porous material cannot be sterilized.

My initial impression of the size was that it was simultaneously much bigger and much smaller than it looked in the picture. It’s much shorter front to back and much taller top to bottom. I was even more shocked at how shallow the sleeve is due to the battery pack and control dial being located directly behind the orifice. From the back of the vibration level dial to the front of the entrance is 7”, top to bottom at the widest point where the bullet lies is a little over 4”, the depth of the usable orifice is only 4”. This is a non-issue for a transguy but considering that this is meant to be used by cis-gendered men it might make more sense to put the battery pack elsewhere. Even though the usable depth is fairly shallow I suspect it would be deep enough to stimulate the more sensitive parts closer to the head. The bullet also seems to rest in the appropriate place to stimulate either the crown or the sensitive spot below the head on the bottom side.

Speaking of the bullet, I was pleased to discover that it has quite strong vibrations, perhaps a bit too strong for some on the highest setting. The bullet gets progressively louder as you turn it up. The highest settings could probably be heard through a closed door but the lower 3/4 of the settings couldn’t be.

The only thing left to investigate at this point was how well this thing does what it’s supposed to do. After connecting the pump bulb, placing the toy appropriately and ensuring a good seal I squeezed the bulb a few times. I immediately felt the toy growing in my hand. As it turns out this thing has the opposite of a vacuum pump. There is a little air bladder inside that fills up to make it tighter. The air bladder is quite close to the front of the toy but still far enough back that the vast majority of pre-op guys won’t benefit, even after using a vacuum pump.

Determined not to let this be a total “fail” I decided to get creative. I discovered that if I use my standard pump I can keep the cylinder on and insert that into the Jelly Climaxer. It transfers some vibrations, and it's nice to be able to use a masturbation sleeve and feel the opening up against me but it just doesn’t do enough to reach the end goal. I also tried using it while donning my harness held “Goodfella” as well as the harness free “Share” but both yielded even less satisfactory stimulation.