The Jelly Climaxer is one of those sex toys that tries to improve on your basic masturbation sleeve by adding various functions. In this case, we start with an (unimpressive) jelly sleeve and we have the added stimulation of a vibrator and a pump. Now, where most toys would simply throw in a vibrating bullet, the Jelly Climaxer has a vibrator built into the back of the toy. It is helpful in that there are no cords or wires to tangle yourself up in, but it also leaves less room for your penis, not to mention the fact that you "bottom out" into a hard plastic battery case. I figure you'd have to be 4.5 inches or under to really have a good time with this! The pump makes this even more bulky and cumbersome to use. It doesn't function as a normal penis pump, per se, instead it simply inflates a ring around the vaginal entrance. This helps the tightness a little, but mostly conspires to push your penis out of the toy and refuse it entry back in. All in all, this toy reminded me of my very first sex toy: the Optimum Power Vibro Sucking Stroker—penis pump. (Here's my review for it!) This toy did actually manage to get me off a few times, although my cock was numb by the time I finished!

Detailed Ratings: (Any questions here? My profile has a basic explanation of how my scale works, and if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask!)

Size: A little bit too bulky to hold and use, yet too small for to fit into! Not a good combination!
20/40

Material: The jelly sleeve is a hard, inelastic, sleeve with a strange odor, and it doesn't feel very good at all!
6/20

Safety: Jelly gets a 2 on the EF safety scale and, as always, I multiply that by 2 to get my rating. Jelly can't be fully sterilized and should not be boiled in water, but you can clean it with warm water and toy cleanser. Avoid using harsh soaps and store away from extreme heat and light. Condoms should be used if you plan to share this toy. You can use both water and silicone lubes with this toy.
4/20

Color: A bright, pinkish red color that I didn't really like.
5/10

Visual Appeal: Not very realistic at all...but not disgusting either.
6/20

Ease of use: Too much vibrating, pumping, sliding in, forcing your cock in, pumping, sliding the cock back in, well...you get the idea!
20/60

Tightness: It's tight, but not a very good tightness. The pump helps, but not a whole lot.
30/50

Suction: It is, technically, a closed-ended toy, so there is a bit of suction here.
30/40

Sensation: To be honest, about 50 of these points come from the vibrator which, when fully inserted, vibrates directly on the head of your penis. Otherwise it's a pretty forgettable experience.
70/100

Cleanup: The Jelly Climaxer is loose enough that you can rinse it out in about 5 seconds.
18/20

Versatility: After 3 uses, the pump started to come apart quite often during use...it's easily fixed, but who wants to fix it while they're using it?
40/60

Price: $33.99 is a bit expensive for such an unrealistic toy, I thought.
20/60

At a glance:
Size 20/40
Material 6/20
Safety 4/20
Color 5/10
Visual Appeal 6/20
Ease of use 20/60
Tightness 30/50
Suction 30/40
Sensation 70/100
Cleanup 18/20
Versatility 40/60
Price 20/60

269/500
3 Stars