Briana pocket pussy - realistic vagina by Doc Johnson - review by Sanctus Somnium

Like a 5" block of flubber

Seriously Doc? Do you have Oompa Loompa's design these things? This is by far one of the most useless things I have ever used. Hell, my hand is deeper than this thing.

Try again Doc...Try Again.
Almost perfect anal feel,
Good for grabbing
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


In all honesty, I would not recommend this aide to ANY male nearing above average. Although the entrance hole is smaller and tighter it is so tight as to be damn near unusable. The anal entrance is the only viable option as trying to do the vaginal entrance is like trying to do a vagina at a downward angle.

As far as feel goes I have to admit that it does feel pretty good...until you come out the other end that is. Seriously if you are larger than 5" then this toy should really not be used. It doesn't encompass the entire length of your penis.

This is yet another example of why you should spend the extra money if you really want to feel as good as possible without the real thing.

Also one should note that while this is shown to be blue, the one I received was a realistic color. I did not see realistic as an option for coloring on the item's page though.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Small size guys/tv's.
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Material / Texture

The last toy I reviewed was remarkably similar to this one, and this one is also made of the UR3 (Ultra-Realistic 3.0) material. Although UR3 is usually insanely porous, this is infinitely easier to clean than the Stefani Morgan pocket pal. It should be cleaned before and after each and every use. Unless you want to lose the use of this toy there are no exceptions. Warm water and a toy cleaner would be best; antibacterial soap is fine also. After each use clean it and dust with a little cornstarch (not TALC) to stop it from becoming sticky. Contact with silicone-based, oil or petroleum lubes will ruin it. Use only water based lubes if you wish to have the toy longer than a month of daily use.

As for me, I am sure it is not the best but I use a Nylon DooRag per toy. It seems to help.
    • Rigid
    • Sticky
    • Textured interior

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

Having had a fairly deplorable first experience, I was looking forward to this toy as I was hoping to have a better experience than the first. The Pocket Pal itself is fairly good looking. It has a slightly smooshed look to the labia though.

However, I must say I was supremely disappointed when it was put into actual use. Firstly, the entrance to the pussy was high on the pocket pal. On top of that the toy itself should really have had a bit more added to the end as that would have made it better for men of a larger length. Hell, I was right when I ordered a similar product earlier. I wanted an anal entrance, and this toy having an anal entrance is greatly appreciated.

My main problem with it is that it is insanely short. If this toy had just a little bit more then it would be so much better. Just 7"-8" would have made it a fantastic toy.

The vaginal entrance is higher on the toy than I believe it should; be unless you plan on laying it on a bed and having a go at it like a baboon rutting a tree stump.
    • May be too tight for some
    • Tight fitting
    • Will fit most people

Functions / Performance / Controls

Not actually owning a bullet at this time, I can not actually give a proper review on the noise level it would have made if one was used. But I can also say that it might indeed be quite noisy as there is an actual hole for the inclusion of a bullet. Without a bullet it isn't very loud.

I've had bad luck with pocket pals. At least this time it feels more like a marshmallow and less like Jello.
    • Not very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

Drying this toy consists of blotting with a soft cloth. You really don't want to use anything else as it will either break, or leave fuzz all over it and in it.

I really would not recommend turning this one inside out though as it will most likely break either of the entrance holes. It is best to run water through the hole until it rinses clean on the inside.

After cleaning it don't forget to add some powder and store it away from other toys or they will fuse after a while.
    • Hard to clean
    • Easy to store


The package that this came in is similar to other pocket pals. Images on three sides of the namesake, and one side with the different languages describing the toy. I really would not recommend leaving this out unless you are really ok with your sexuality. It is definitely not discreet. Inside the box is nothing but the toy and a clear plastic bag.
    • Not discreet
    • Very informative

Personal comments

This toy is really good for the "man of smaller blessings" however if you are larger, this toy is much better left alone.

For me this toy is a curse as watching myself enter the ass is indeed sexy. However, watching it leave the other end kills it. If it was longer I would really enjoy it.


This toy is yet another real disappointment. Disappointment all around so far Doc. What do you have to say for yourself? You know? I think I still have some of that Jello left in my fridge. It's starting to look appealing.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
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Do you like this review?
  • Jimbo Jones
    I guess to stay in the pocket pussy category manufacturers think they have to be short. Thanks for your honest review.
  • Andrey2052
    Thanks for the review!
  • cheesewizz
    nice review
  • ILikeShinyThings
    Great review! Sorry to hear that the toy did not live up to the expectations
  • asandahl
  • Initiate Fun
  • Artishok
    Thanks hun!
  • Tbanda
    Thank you!
  • soccerfan
  • mp3me
    Nice review
  • RedFreak
  • Steve99
    Good review
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